I will come to you

Pat871Pat871
in General

Last week I was feeling a little, well, 'moody' for no reason at all.
It also happened to be the same day that a friend I made at a TAFE I used to attend wanted to come over and hang out.
So we sat on the couch together, and I put my head in her lap. She's not a pro or anything but I felt HEAPS better during and after that 2 hour cuddle during her visit. We watched 'The Road the Albetaine' together which happens to be one of my favorite things to watch right now but I think the true happiness I felt came from our cuddle.

I've cuddle a few pro's before and tbh I don't think a 'pro cuddler' is necessarily a 'better' cuddler than a non-pro. The few pro's I've cuddled didn't feel as amazing as the cuddle I had with my friend.

But one thing I like about the pro's on this site, is that if all your friends are busy at the moment, and you're feeling really down that very moment, sometimes a pro becomes available at the last minute to be there when you need someone to hold in your arms. They will come to you...

(Quote Hanson Song: "I will come to you.")

"I'll be there for you when no one else can be."

It's all so nice to have a small girl to hold in your arms sometimes. One of the nicest feelings in the world. <3

Comments

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    I don't think a 'pro cuddler' is necessarily a 'better' cuddler than a non-pro.

    I entirely agree. They are just different. It's classic apples and oranges.

  • [Deleted User]loves2cuddle123 (deleted user)

    What's the difference? It should be at least the same or better since you're paying for a pro. I'm new here and haven't cuddled with anyone yet.

  • OhioMikeOhioMike

    My ex mother n law makes the best sweet tea I ever had. Absolutely free / no charge / could make a bundle if she bottled and sold it.

    I’ve never had sweet tea that I bought at any restaurant in the world that tasted as good 😊

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited September 2022

    @loves2cuddle123 they are profoundly different. The difference does not lie in what actually happens, which may not differ all that much.

    However, in one case, the experience is mutual. Each of you is caring for the other. In the other case, the balance of care is - or should be - in one direction. Obviously the client should always care that the professional is comfortable and so on. But the purpose of the session is to benefit one person more than the other. Part of the real job of the professional is to hold the emotions of the client. Some are better at this than others.

    The style of professional sessions can vary enormously. Sometimes, particularly when then participants know each other, they can be almost like a mutual session. In other cases, the session can be more like a talking therapy session than anything else.

    It is not the case that one is "better" than the other.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    There are good and bad pros and there are good and bad non-pros. There are many benefits to a quality professional, but if you can find the same benefits in a non-pro and save money, 🤷‍♀️. Personally, if I had the funds and a local professional that met my requirements, I would choose the professional for my own needs, but I understand people who feel otherwise. 😇

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972

    @CuddleDuncan - you summed it up perfectly. My first 6 experiences were all with pros and I enjoyed them all. After my first experience with a non-pro, the word that kept coming to mind was “mutual” because I felt like I was giving back as much as I was getting which is a wonderful feeling.

    I’ve now cuddled with several non-pros and I enjoy them just as much as cuddles with pros, but they are different.

    @ubergigglefritz - I am so thankful all my cuddling experiences (with pros and non-pros alike) have been great experiences. I’ve read enough horror stories on various threads from pros, clients and enthusiasts to know I have either been lucky or that my own vetting process for who I hire / meet is pretty effective at avoiding drama.

  • Mr_Cuddle_BearMr_Cuddle_Bear
    edited September 2022

    @CuddleDuncan
    "However, in one case, the experience is mutual. Each of you is caring for the other. In the other case, the balance of care is -** or should be** - in one direction. "

    I can't say that I agree with you. The best pro I cuddled with happened to be going through a rough time during the period I was seeing her and needed the platonic connection possibly more than I did. The sessions with her were among the best I ever had.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited September 2022

    @Mr_Cuddle_Bear we all know that the lack of somebody to care for is just as grim a circumstance has not being cared for, and that doing the caring can be just as rewarding as being cared for. But in professional cuddling this is a difficult and complex question which is well above my pay grade. I don't mean you shouldn't have cared for your professional - to some extent of course you should. But it worries me. I'm worried for you and and I'm worried for her.

    In the community there is a problem of care inversion at the first meeting. I suspect this happens most often with young, instagram-ready professionals and older, vulnerable clients. Sometimes it's basically fine of course, depending on the people involved. But sometimes it's abuse. Other times it's essentially fraud. It's never truly ok.

    From your language I'm presuming that in this case it was an established relationship, and that is different. You know each other, and the inverted care sessions have a wider context. But in principle it opens up the spectre of long-term abuse, which is potentially even more damaging.

    Even when the care inversion is not strictly abusive it may be repeating unhelpful patterns. Many people struggle to be cared for due to childhood abuse, trauma or neglect. Every time a professional cuddler reinforces that pattern they are depriving the client of true care which they need and which they have sought and which everybody should get from somewhere.

    In other words, even when it's an established, positive relationship, and the client finds the experience rewarding, it doesn't mean that harm hasn't been done.

    And then on top of all of that you have the transference issues. And the boundary issues. And goodness knows what else.

  • IsMeArrgghIsMeArrggh

    My 1st experiences with cuddling were with pros and they were amazing! The first one though I felt it was significantly more “mutual” giving and I agree when you have that feeling it was significantly better.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    @CuddleDuncan does a great job explaining. As a professional, the times I have permitted attention in my direction, it's after really knowing the person and being certain that's beneficial to them and is actually what they want and need. Too many pros are too quick to "receive" in a session. The point is that the session is focused on what the client needs as opposed to what the pro needs, not necessarily what is done or in which direction things are done. If, and only if, a client's needs are determined to actually be to provide care, can it be considered to shift a session in that direction. Also, this doesn't say a pro doesn't get anything out of sessions, just that the session isn't designed around what they need. If all that makes sense. 😆

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    I’m a Pro and I recently had my first mutual cuddle experience. Non-paid just equal cuddling and it was so amazing, like nothing I’ve ever experienced!! I was held and cared for which rarely happens in my sessions as a Pro, I’m the giver which I really enjoy doing. I just felt the need to receive that same caring warmth. I can’t wait to try it again!

Sign In or Register to comment.