We only know what they’ve allowed to show us… , tell us … share with us…, as well as our perspective of them by way of experience and dealing with them … , thoughts?
I wear a mask everyday. Long before covid. For me, it's to make others around me more comfortable which makes me more comfortable. But you are correct. You only see what people choose to reveal. I think it's the fear of being judged that keeps people from being themselves. The first few years on cuddle comfort I didn't tell people that I was looking for strangers to cuddle with. Now I tell everyone.
@cuddles_ndream How could we not? We never even fully know ourselves, do we? We are always discovering things about ourselves through our experiences.
So what you say is true..
@Nickoli 💯
@Tom2019 i was building up to the fact that people change, we change, you nailed it … I only came to this realization very recently.
Well, yes. Even in intimate relationships, you may only see the sides the other person wants to show/feels safe to show.
The Japanese say we have three faces. The first face, you show to the world. The second face, you show to your close friends and family. The third face, you never show anyone. It is the truest reflection of who you are.
—Unknown
Ty Mela
@cuddles_ndream Nice discussion! @Tom2019 Good point.
"This is the real drama for me; the belief that we all, you see, think of ourselves as one single person: but it's not true: each of us is several different people, and all these people live inside us." -- Act 1, Six Characters in Search of an Author by Luigi Pirandello
I've also heard a quote somewhere that talks about how everyone we meet carries a different version of us in their minds.
The "self" is relative, and we're all dynamic. I think the bright side of this lack of stability/consistency is that we're all able to change and grow in terrifically positive and beautiful ways.
@WriterGF very true!
@Hannie868 ”each of us is different several people”, we are shaped and molded by our experiences and influenced by those directly around us for the most part (I understand not always), / “everyone we meet Carries a different version of us” - makes me think how we are someone’s most amazing presence / biggest hurt / biggest love / fun / annoyance / the list truly goes on … thank you so much for sharing all that 🙂
I once briefly confused my youngest daughter by telling her that she and her older sister had different dads. She gave me a funny look and then I explained that her older sister was born to a father that didn’t have any other children but she was born to a father who already had a 2 year old daughter. Biologically I was the same person but mentally I had changed significantly over the 2 years between their births.
So to @Hannie868 I agree completely, we are (it at least should be) dynamic and regularly changing and growing.
Seems pretty obvious. And some people are really good at hiding. They are the ones sitting at the tables at the World Series of Poker.
We dont even completely know ourselves so of course nobody completely knows us. You might get as close as 70, maybe 80 or 85 percent even , but even those who you are closest to never 100 percent know you nor you them
For a long time, I presented a false front to the world, a more "normal" and socially acceptable me. I started referring to it as "putting on my mask". When I learned that I'm autistic, I also learned that this behavior is called masking. And it's exhausting and overall harmful, especially when things become too much and the mask breaks. Somehow a glimpse of the real me instead of the me they expected to see always drove people away, which reinforced the idea that I needed to mask.
It's been a challenge to learn how to stop masking and just be me, but it's also been incredibly rewarding. I understand myself a lot better, and I feel a lot better about myself. Whatever happens, I am me.
Even ourselves
I don't know. I'm of the opinion that the more time elapses, the more others will reveal their true intentions and true colors. Sure, there are sides of us that we may only reveal to ourselves, but that kind of makes us human and all alike in some way.
I think introspection, philosophy, religion, self-help, meditation, prayer, therapy, (even cuddling) etc. are all means that we can better understand ourselves, and through that understand others as well.
I believe Lao Tzu said in the Tao Teh Ching: "To know others is to be clever, To know ourselves is to have wisdom."
With this , less is more
@pmvines 💯