That feeling when you write to local cuddlers, see they visited you, but didn't reply :)

[Deleted User]OzVisitor (deleted user)

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  • Do you travel a lot?

  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)

    Normally I think "thank you for being honest and not wasting our time."

    Other times they'll ignore me at first then come back weeks/months later and be all chatty like they never ignored me.

    Eeyore's nice but I love me some Piglet!

  • I notice people looking at my profile often, sometimes the same ones, but I assume maybe they accidentally tapped on. I normally use my laptop, but have on occasion come on here on my phone and I find there is a little less control there. I also go on peoples profiles sometimes just to find out about them and look at pics, particularly when I notice the pics get changed around. Mostly just curiosity.

  • [Deleted User]OzVisitor (deleted user)
    edited January 2018

    @morpheus - yes, I was up and down the east coast of Australia then in the US a number of times last year. I had to turn down some opportunities to go to Singapore and Hawaii ... but yes, I get around ... I am both privileged and lonely :)

  • That’s pretty cool Oz

  • [Deleted User]OzVisitor (deleted user)

    @Morpheus - thank you.

    @chococuddles - you’re a funny guy :) You also write very insightful, and humorous, comments - a real talent!

    @pmvines - good point! I am sure that happens.

  • edited January 2018

    That is yucky of them especially messaging you back weeks or months later even though they've been active. I guess better late than never. Though that doesn't mean be late! At least say a no or a yes... I think. :/

    From what I learned, I think that's the mentality of some people to say "you know, I've been searching and haven't found anything better, so I might as well give this one a chance/til someone "better" comes along."

    Though there are bits of grey areas here and there, so take that with a grain of spice, I mean salt. -_-

    It doesn't matter who messages me or where they're, if a message is decent I always give a response even if to say a no - not everyone is comfortable with direct rejection sadly, though it takes time to become that direct and open, so we save each others the time and troubles of guessing. Being open and direct also opens the opportunities to understand one another and work things out.

  • As for repeat viewers, it's either they've "fish" memory and need reminders of certain things and there are also the accidental clicks. I am between the two.

    Or some times they don't want to make the first move to message for different reasons, especially ladies lol. ;) :)

  • [Deleted User]Greybeard (deleted user)

    I like to chat and such, so when somebody looks at my profile without leaving a note, I often message them to say hi and invite them to mix it up a little. K

  • [Deleted User]Alternis (deleted user)

    I message a pro and they look at my profile and don't respond. Then I book someone else. Then when I notice they look again and I have new karma from a person I booked that could have been them they'll send me a message. By then I am the one who won't respond. Bwahaha

  • I think new pros maybe unsure of clients with no karma I know I was and still am more cautious . They may not know how to respond without hurting feelings so they ignore . As a woman I’ve got some nasty replies from men that I’ve turned down gently ( not here ) so for a long time I just avoided dealing with it .

  • [Deleted User]RScarf1 (deleted user)

    Most of the women who don't reply to me are not cuddlers for long. It used to bother me, but not anymore. There are plenty of people who do reply. If I see that they visited my profile without replying, I just delete the conversation (which was just my message) and move on.

  • [Deleted User]princessplushie (deleted user)

    That is terrible. I'm sorry that you experienced that. I never ignore anyone I always reply. I do not discriminate, I welcome
    any client who is respectful and kind. The point of a pro cuddler is to heal, nurture, and make one feel loved. If I'm unable due to distance I still communicate. No one goes ignored. If your ever around Fort Worth Texas let me know.

  • edited January 2018

    @cuddlebugTM I hear what you are saying about the karma thing. I don't have any karma, but pretty much all my cuddle pals have not been from this site. Nor have I done the paid cuddljng thing. However I have met several from here, either while traveling or from them coming through AL, but just haven't placed importance of the karma thing. A couple had asked if I wanted it and I actually said no, just cus I didn't want to seem like I was fishing for accolades. Coincidentally I did get karma once, but the person was banned for some reasons I still am not aware of, so the karma disappeared , apparently that's a thing if you are banned the karma you leave disappears. I just figure if someone wants to get to know me i need to put forth the work and not rely on karma as this is not always accurate to begin with. I have given karma a couple times though, If its something that I feel is important to the other person, especially if they are paid cuddlers. As said I don't do the pay for cuddle thing, but I have hung out with a few and still don't mind giving them karma since it ties into their reputation.

  • [Deleted User]courageous1 (deleted user)

    I usually get on here on my phone. When i get messages i abhor responding from my phone and tell myself as soon as i log in on my laptop i will reply. I have them memory of a gnat and a ridiculous schedule, often times causing me to forget. I do almkst always get back to ppl within a week, but sometimes i get in a mood-funk and just don't feel sociable. That's probably just me though.

  • Personally I kinda like it when someone looks at my profile cus obviously there is something that sparks it, barring that its accidental of course. If I were in the store and somebody made eye contact and smiled, or was looking at me from across the aisle or whatever, I wouldn't be upset that they didn't rush over to talk.

  • @pmvines I get what you are saying karma isn’t a deal breaker fir me but it will mean I’ll take extra time to chat and vet cuddlers . So many I’ve run into want little conversation before meeting I just don’t find that safe as a woman.Some I’ve gotten to know over messaging I would totally meet but sadly they live a distance and traveling is in my near future.

  • When a pro visits me, I'm not sure how to respond when I don't want to schedule a cuddle session, I don't want to waste their time. Otherwise I do like to respond when someone messages me, but I can be shy/awkward. Visiting a profile can be curiousity or just trying to remember something from what was seen on the profile a while ago.

  • I sometimes will
    Message if some visits me . It’s ok if they aren’t looking for pro . Some I end up having great conversations with . Not all connections have to end up being a client they could just be a friend

  • [Deleted User]Greybeard (deleted user)

    I belong to another website that matches friends to exchange massages - no fees allowed, just free exchanges. When you get a message, the reply form, aside from perhaps writing a message, has a number of “canned” responses, you just check a box. You might be asking the person to post a photo or other info, but there is a choice that says, “ Thanks for your message, but I don’t feel that we are a good match for an exchange.” There’s another that indicates that you’re busy with others and suggests the person try you at another time.
    But you don’t need a pre-written response to send a simple, “Thanks but I don’t see us as a good match.” No reason is required beyond that. That SHOULD keep the same individual from writing you multiple times, and by not stating a reason, after the initial disappointment, you haven’t given an average user any reason to be angry with you.

  • You would be surprised lol

  • @cuddlebugTM, yes the ambiguity confuses me though, and I hate the idea of wasting someone's time, I don't want to be 'that guy'. Maybe I'm just too shy or neurotic about it, but I feel better if I'm responding to a professional whom I chatted with on a thread already or had some other interaction.

    I've received some nice welcome messages, for example, but in my mind I'm thinking, oh, nice, oh but I don't see myself scheduling a session anytime soon, maybe I'll see them on the forums and interact, or reply but then what, continue to string along pm's while they are waiting for me to book a session? If I think of it like sending out advertisement to people, and get a lot of chit chat back but no sale, I'm in I don't want to waste their time mode.

    But as @greybeard indicated, a simple appropriate response can avoid being too chatty/personal, and avoid giving an impression of being a potential client, and I could see how it could leave the door open for friendly exchange, something like "Thanks! I'm not thinking of scheduling a session anytime soon, but I appreciate your welcome."

    I do find that having some some sort of well-phrased response around does help me overcome awkwardness or social insecurities. I'll try to keep that in mind.

  • Yea I’ve had a few people say they weren’t interested in booking . I’m not only here to book I like to make friends as well . There maybe pro who just focus on their business .

    I usually answer people who message me unless original message has clear boundary issues . I’ve mostly had good interactions here . Other places I’ve had some very creepy and aggressive situations .

  • Maybe they found you too attractive and didn’t trust themselves?

  • There have been a few women I didn’t cuddle because I was way too attracted to them and I have a bad habit of falling for straight girls lol

  • [Deleted User]Greybeard (deleted user)

    @CuddlebugTM I didn’t say those you turned down wouldn’t keep them from angry. I just said it should. @cuddlebugTM The fact that there is not an option on a PRO’s profile page to send a message, sends the message that PROs are not here to converse or make friends. But where there is a will there is a way, and each of the PRO cuddlers I have contacted, perhaps to make a personal comment on something she or he has said in a forum post, has been somewhere between chatty and polite.

  • I agree . I wish I could have a pro and no pro profile . I meet people from further away I enjoy chatting with even though they are not able to be a client st this time .

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    Personally, sometimes I just don't have the social energy to respond to stuff. Sort of an +++Out Of Spoons Error+++ thing. So I'll visit their profile repeatedly, going "Oh, look at that, how interesting" and "Oh no, they're on now, they're going to think I'm ignoring them" in a vague sort of not-really-very-human-words-y sort of way, and then I log off and read for a while. Or just stare at a wall, depending on how many spoons I have left. You know how it is.

    But later, after I've recharged, I'm fine to talk! I may be autistic, but it's not as though I hate people or mean to be rude. I just...[shrug]...can't talk sometimes.

  • [Deleted User]OzVisitor (deleted user)

    @ahealingtouch - thanks for your kind reply. I would love to visit! I would certainly like to make it to Texas. Apart from DFW airport I've not been there, but I do love a Texan accent. I'll add it to my bucket list to visit Texas, and visit you :)

    @DarrenWalker - I can certainly relate to that feeling of having periods when I'm not ready to talk sometimes.

    @Greybeard and @cuddlebugTM - you make good points; it would be nice if there was a way for Professionals to communicate that was separate from the official sounding "make a booking" button.

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