Super rude pro

bddolebddole
edited November 2022 in General

I messaged a pro recently and her first rule was "pics required". It was a really long description, and by the time I got to the bottom I forgot the first rule.

I messaged her asking a bunch of excited questions, and she responded with one word:
"Pic?"

I immediately realized what happened, reread her description, apologized, explained that I'm not comfortable sharing it yet, and said sorry for bothering her and to disregard my questions since it was against her rules.

She immediately blocked me.

Is this the community that exists here? Rudeness? Not any compassion or grace for mistakes? One word responses?

I can post a screenshot of the interaction here but I don't think it's kind to do so.

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Comments

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    Some are that way, many are not. Some have good reason, some do not. Move on from that one and keep seeking people who are willing to get to know you. You can message me anytime.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

  • Jova114Jova114

    Sorry to hear that.

    Most of the Pros ive talked to are the sweetest people

  • HollydollhugsHollydollhugs

    I just found this and wondered where I should post it. Not all pros are alike, I promise. Hugs!!🤗🤗

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    Every pro is different. Just hearing your side, it does seem like she was being rude but let me give an idea of what is going on: I’ve talked with a lot of pros and with the amount of creeps and rapey dudes we get, having a pic first before any conversation begins makes a lot of pros feel a bit better. If you spend time having a convo with someone and all of a sudden they ask something absolutely disgusting or send a dick pic, we don’t have a pic to hold on to in case they come back after getting banned. Pics are important to a lot of pros but like I said, every pro is different.

    I only require a photo if we’re about to physically meet. If they don’t send me a photo before we meet, we don’t meet.

    Another reason pros immediately block someone for something like that is the idea that if they don’t have respect to abide to their requirements of safety,(no matter how long the list), what’s to stop them from having no respect to them In person.

  • BlackKalelBlackKalel

    I know I'm in the minority here. I no longer have a face photo visible to the public. I read profile before chatting with someone and if they have any rules in not comfortable with I just don't message, I'm not going to expect anyone pro or not to change a rule because of me. I don't feel this pro was "rude". She had rules and boundaries and doesn't shy away from that. That's definitely not a reason to call her out so I'm glad you choose not to post her messages here.

    Everyone is able to choose who they interact with and not. Blocking someone just means you no longer want to have interaction with that person not than you mean anything negative to that person.

    Move on there are tons of cuddlers out here.

  • sapere_audesapere_aude

    My biggest issue is people not reading my profile and only messaging because they like my pictures. I ask that people share a picture because it makes me feel more comfortable talking to them. If we're potentially going to be meeting up in person, I'm going to see you anyway so why hide?

  • Ironman294Ironman294

    She might have felt that if you’re not ready to share a photo she wasn’t sure how many messages you might send before being comfortable sharing one. And might not even lead to a session?
    So she might have felt it would be too much time spent on nothing? Who knows why, she might have had a situation in the past, more than likely which didn’t lead to a session.
    There’s plenty of other professionals so another would be a better fit. No need to fear sending a photo. :-)

  • Mr_Cuddle_BearMr_Cuddle_Bear

    Since I don't have a public profile pic, as a rule of thumb I include one in my initial message to any prospective cuddle partner. I think it is just common courtesy.

  • peopeo

    She was just plain RUDE.

  • RezzRezz

    I've done this. 🤷‍♀️
    My profile explicitly states no photo, no session.
    You're paying me, I don't care if you're a cyclops.

    What I won't do is spend a week chit chatting only to discover that you're a previously banned member wasting my time when you finally get up the "courage" to send a pic.

    Me blocking you is my way of saying bother someone else with this nonsense, we aren't compatible.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    By saying sorry for bothering you and essentially withdrawing your questions, plus admitting you could not follow her rule #1, you were pretty much signaling the conversation was over. If you didn't want to meet her requirements, why wouldn't she block you? Did you give her any reason to believe that was going to change?

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    You are right not to post screenshots of the conversation, that is against forum rules as well as being unkind as you say. Good call.

    However, you did not forget her first rule: you ignored it. By that I mean that you did not care about it, which means you did not care about her. Which means that technically you were being disrespectful. No, it wasn't a merely a slip of memory; it was deeper than that. You don't forget to put your trousers on before going to work, for example. We don't forget things that are vital to the process: we forget details that we regard as being of lesser importance.

    You read her first rule, thought to yourself (consiously or unconsciously) "well that doesn't matter" and kept reading. You didn't forget it, you never remembered it in the first place. In other words, your entire approach to her was based on the assumption that the thing she cared about most wasn't important.

    You then disrespected her again, by refusing to send a picture when asked even though that is her very first rule. Frankly you had no business messaging her in the first place, and I'd be curious to hear why you did. Sure, she was rude. But not as rude as you. You're lucky she replied at all. It's possible she blocked you simply as a way making sure you don't waste any more of her time.

    If you were being respectful, your first message would have discussed her first rule as its first and probably only point. Perhaps something like this:

    Dear professional cuddler, I'm interested in arranging a cuddle session with you but I'm acutely concerned about my privacy. I will of course send my picture to you before the session, but would you be willing to exchange a couple of emails first to see if we're compatible before I do? I appreciate that this is a big deal for you, so no worries if not.

    Don't get me wrong, I do sympathise with your feelings of .... do we even have a word for the feeling of pain when somebody is rude to you? You were just trying to arrange a cuddle, which you need, and it went wrong, and the professional was not nice to you, and by definition that happened when you were feeling a bit vulnerable in some way and consequently were trying to arrange a cuddle. And all of that is horrible, and I am sorry it happened to you. And I hope it never happens to you again.

    But the professional has had a horrible experience too, and from your post I'm not sure you're conscious of that.

  • carinocarino
    edited November 2022

    She was being rude plain and simple just a one worded pic justify she was only interested in your money and if u have the looks to go along with it that's all..if your a pro act like one or try to be a pro and have courtesy you are suppose to be the professional here sort of lmao and if her profile comes as being rude don't waste your time and if she blocks you she's doing you favor out of sight out of mine 🤗

    You may want to tone it down, @carino . You're making vast assumptions and getting yourself reported for the manner in which you've chosen to do so: you do not have to be rude about Pros. If you can't read the Forum rules (no Pro bashing!), I'm happy to give you the time to do so with a forum timeout. Fair warning - and consider it your last. [-Sid]

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    @carino Pros want to see pics for their own safety and as other pros have pointed out, to make sure they are not talking to a previously banned member. I see no reason to think pros judge by looks. As for being only interested in money, she's in business ... she charges for her time and attention. It's not a charity. Anyone who doesn't want money as a consideration is free not to contact pros.

  • warm_embracewarm_embrace

    I wouldn’t have considered her response to be rude. If I had contacted her and didn’t provide a picture as she required, I wouldn’t assume there was going to be any further conversation.

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    @carino it’s already been pointed out multiple times: pros don’t choose clients based off of looks. The picture required is purely for safety. I think the aggressive way you went about it to make it sound like she was unprofessional because of this requirement was uncalled for. You’ve been here long enough with enough evidence that the majority of pros need pics for safety and that is all…

  • RezzRezz

    @carino

    She was being rude plain and simple just a one worded pic justify she was only interested in your money and if u have the looks to go along with it that's all..

    When did you become the expert on how female pros screen their clients?
    Because this couldn't be further from the truth.
    We don't have male models here seeking pros for cuddling. The vast majority have been average looking men. Requiring a picture is for safety not to date you or hookup. Jfc.

    No amount of money will encourage me to meet you without a recent unobscured picture, period.

  • stormydaycuddlestormydaycuddle Mod
    edited November 2022

    Edit: taken down because I'm too uppity to get into forum conflict today. Have a great one everyone. LOL.

  • MissAdventurousMissAdventurous

    @stormydaycuddle - feel this LOL LMFAO.

  • carinocarino
    edited November 2022

    I been around long enough and been in the loop do all pros go for looks nope some do some dont?...you pros out there know who you are

    You've been around the forums long enough to know that the Pros just VERY kindly handed you your posterior that just got kicked, @carino . And rightly so. [-Sid]

  • carinocarino

    To ask for a pic sure no problem with that but not even saying hello how are you can you send me a pic?. Nope thay wasn't said the guy said all she said was pic? And nothing else rude plain rude allbin it for the looks along with the cash...like I said you pros out there know who you are and if my post resonates with you then your one of them point blank

  • [Deleted User]SnuggleSuz (deleted user)

    Well there are a lot of time wasters that basically want a free session chatting and do it behind an anonymous profile. Get their entertainment or therapy for free then can delete and make a new profile and do the same thing again. So I can see how people can reply short after having their time wasted or being disrespected several times. It's always good to look at both perspectives. You think she is rude and likely she thinks the same since you disregarded the rules laid out on her profile.

    I personally don't ask for photos because it doesn't make a difference to me how someone looks. Also it personally doesn't make me feel more safe. Because there are so many pictures online someone could easily catfish you anyways. So I converse with someone and if we agree to meet then we meet and the majority of the time I don't know what they look like until they open their door.

  • panda619panda619

    Just stick with the well reviewed pros. Sweethearts

  • carinocarino

    Luckily I haven't had an issue since i been here I only had 1 pro ask for a pic while having a conversation through here.and the rest was booked session no pic required but of course once we communicated off the site I send them my pic without them even asking for it...😎😎😎

  • RezzRezz

    @SnuggleSuz

    Without pics you're opening yourself up to some problems that can easily be avoided. We have members who have been banned and returned who are very dangerous and unpredictable predators. Do you, but I absolutely would not announce that you don't know who is showing up to a session until you meet. Some here will absolutely take advantage of this knowledge.

  • cuddletime68cuddletime68

    She was not professional. I agree there can be some grace given. He took the time to write back it sounds like her simply forgot about attaching a picture. Sounds like she did you a favor in my opinion

  • me2me2

    It happens. I’m pretty sure I’ve been blocked because I didn’t get back to a pro soon enough about when I’d be in her area. This was one with good reviews and after she reached out to me lol.
    I’ve been off the site for awhile because of multiple bad experiences with pros in a row. (Though I’ve had some that have been great in messages! I came back to respond to one :) ) I wouldn’t get your hopes up on here or take it personally if you get blocked. Though I totally get that its rather depressing and off putting when it happens. I think some people do it for some very slight reasons and a lot of pros seem to be operating from dealing with some bad experiences.

  • carinocarino

    Couldn't have said it better myself cuddletime68 lmao..key words NOT PROFESSIONAL AND DID HIM A FAVOR... guess I am an expert after all 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup

    @stormydaycuddle sorry for your aggravations.

    There are definitely some super rude pros out there, or pros who use the picture to decide who they’re going to cuddle with. These are not the majority, however.

    But in the case that you described, it sounded like she was just watching out for her safety. For all the reasons @Sheena123 succinctly put. I think It’s a wise idea for pros to require a picture.

    Best of luck.

  • wilderdudewilderdude

    A bunch of excited questions without following her first rule is why she got frustrated, I can understand why she blocked you.

    Just chalk this one up as a learning experience.

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