Guys treating all women enthusiasts like they treat pros?

lobsterhottublobsterhottub
in Pro Cuddling

Before you went pro (or if you’re not pro), has anyone else noticed that some guys will message female enthusiasts and treat them like they would a pro? For example, I get so many messages from guys whose opening message asks about when I’m available, or when I can “book” a session with them. I usually ignore but sometimes I’ll remind them I’m not a pro and shouldn’t be treated like one. This one asshole just asked for a video chat in his very first message he ever sent me, I said I wanted to chat first/maybe he should book a pro if he wanted a video chat without any messages or rapport exchanged first, then he blocked me after admonishing me and calling me “young lady” as if I was in trouble……we’re the same age…….this guy has good karma too but still gives off bad vibes.

Anyways, it seems a lot of guys can’t even read that I’m an enthusiast, not a pro. No wonder they have to pay someone to cuddle with them. I doubt even a pro wants to be treated like this.

Comments

  • achetocuddleachetocuddle

    Yes, this has happened to me a few times. It took me a little bit to figure out they assumed I'm a pro. The one thing I like about messages like this is I know I don't ever want to engage them.

    That one bad response you got is ridiculous and terrible. That has not happened to me.

    A bunch of people here do not read the profiles. And it surely adversely affects them getting to know anyone. A few times they have read my profile and asked if I felt differently, wanted to make an exception for them. My profile is currently muted due to people like this and the ones that just say "how are you" and "need a cuddle". I'm just so weary.

  • MelancholyMelancholy

    I've kind of lost count how many times I've talked to "enthusiasts" and spent a lot of time trying to build rapport with to make them safe, only to find out they turned pro or have a sudden pro-pending badge on their profile.
    having said that, while I am now so jaded that I assume every new female member is going to turn pro, I try not to treat them differently and at least give them the benefit of the doubt initially.
    recently I did ask someone new if she was going to turn pro or not...its not that I assumed she was, I Just wanted to know ahead of time so I didn't spend too much time talking to her. If someone is going to turn pro, they usually don't want to get to know you very well other than the basics.

  • CuddleWhoCuddleWho

    A lot of people just aren’t very bright. Witness for instance the regular stream of people who try to advertise their availability as a pro cuddler while somehow missing the requirement to convert their profile to a pro one.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited December 2022

    It's a common problem. In addition to the various categories mentioned above, there are some clients who aren't aware that there are non-professional cuddlers here - they believe it's a simply a client/professional site because that's how it was presented to them when their friend told them about it.

    So, I'm sorry you're going through this @lobsterhottub. It's not just you. I would suggest that you Block them without comment, and every now and then - when you have the energy, or they seem trainable - send a brief copy/paste educational message.

    The Karma problem is another one. The system is better than nothing and it does help, but it's very, very far from perfect. Beware of Karma from professionals when it is very formulaic or clichéd. And also beware of any Karma from professionals when they were new: lots of new people, trying to build a business, are less fussy about leaving good Karma because they want the reciprocal good Karma. Many are also concerned about 'revenge Karma' because they are not aware that it gets deleted by the mods.

    And then of course there is the problem of the problem professionals. There is no particular shortage of professionals who simply lie about the behaviour of a client for one reason or another. Unfortunately, the mods cannot assume that the client is the asshole. Sometimes it's both, of course.

    @Melancholy's experience, of investing time and effort in an enthusiast who then turned professional, is one I have shared quite a few times. In my experience they were always planning to be professionals, they were just getting settled into the site. This makes it all the more frustrating.

  • UREverythingUREverything

    The biggest conflict ive found is when the search for people inline is pressed. Its only pros. So in this age of impatience people who are looking to message someone who may respond quickly, are programmed to message pros. Doing the same thing 7 times its becomes a habit.
    Or maybe im the only one seeing just pros in the online search.🤷‍♀️

  • MelancholyMelancholy

    @BgstickTeddyBea Not sure how you're doing it but if I select the filter to hide pros, it stays that way and every time I search it correctly searches for non pros.

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