What is skin-hunger?

[Deleted User]Love_Arcitect (deleted user)
edited January 2018 in General

How many of you are educated about skin hunger and it's effects on men & women's physical and emotional well-being and how did you go about helping a person through skin hunger?

What is a skin hunger?
Unlike hunger, a lack of touch isn't a basic need for survival. ... But the biggest problem that occurs when dealing with skin hunger is receiving a sense of feeling unlovable. When you lack a sense of touch, you start to feel worthless and undeserving of human contact.

What does touch deprivation mean?
Touch deprivation is a condition that involves little or no stimulation by way of physical contact with other people. Human touch has been proven to be vital to emotional, psychological, and physical growth in infants and to some extent in older children and adults.

What lack of affection can do to you?
Just as lack of food, water, and rest have their detrimental effects, so too does the lack of affection. ... Specifically, compared to people with less skin hunger, people who feel more affection-deprived: are less happy; more lonely; more likely to experience depression and stress; and, in general, in worse health

**2 Articles relating. **

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/affectionado/201308/what-lack-affection-can-do-you

http://upliftconnect.com/how-lack-touch-destroying-men/

**Could this fix it? **

How to love "Physical Touch" people well (Reference to the book The 5 Love languages by Gary Chapman)

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Comments

  • respectfulrespectful
    edited January 2018

    @Love_Arcitect That's a cool video. I've always liked the idea of love languages!

    Just for reflection, here are some of the things from the original post said positively instead of negatively. I'm definitely not correcting anything you wrote, just thinking out loud:

    What is a skin satisfaction?

    Unlike hunger, satisfying our need for touch isn't required for survival. ... But the biggest benefit that occurs when satisfying that need is receiving a sense of feeling lovable. When you feel a sense of touch, you start to feel worthwhile and deserving of love and human contact.

    What does touch fulfillment mean?

    Touch fulfillment involves sufficient stimulation by way of physical contact with other people. Human touch has been proven to be vital to emotional, psychological, and physical growth in infants and to some extent in older children and adults.

    What affection can do for you?

    Just as sufficient food, water, and rest have their positive effects, so too does affection. ... People who feel abundant affection: are more happy; more connected with others; feel lighter and less stressed; and, in general, in better health

  • [Deleted User]Qey (deleted user)

    I am very familiar with skin hunger, I posted that I am skin hungry in my profile! I'm not sure that people realize how serious a lack of touch is. It increases stress, exacerbates illness, it can cause mental disorders such as anxiety and clinical depression, it's terrible- especially when you naturally need touch, you crave it, but cannot receive it.

  • CalNativeCalNative

    I imagine that's a reason to get house pets. The feeling of a cat or dog on your lap may be a substitute for human affection.

  • [Deleted User]Love_Arcitect (deleted user)
    edited January 2018

    @Qey That is why I created this threat to help bring awareness to it. I suffer from skin hungry myself.

    @CalNative I like pets however I am not interested in getting a pet. I want human interaction, it's a different feeling. A pet would never be able to fill that void.

    @respectful I just copy and pasted the definitions from google. I like the positive spin you put on it. Now to get what we want & need is another story.

  • [Deleted User]SexyBrit (deleted user)

    Animal contact is good for helping with "skin hunger" (don't like that term, makes me think of horror movies lol) but it's a pale substitution for human touch.

  • [Deleted User]Love_Arcitect (deleted user)
    edited January 2018

    @SexyBrit (Yeah it makes me think of horror movies too. lol)

    Like I said I have no interest in animal contact only human female contact.
    I also think it's a sad world we live in if we all have to resort to animal contact because people aren't compassionate enough to give us the love, support and affection we need. Also if people try to push the self-reliance card that you only need to love yourself obviously have no idea what skin hunger is or have felt it. It's not something you look from within, it's fulfilled from an outside source. As I believe self-love is also in asking what you want and need from others.

    As bad as this is to say, I'd rather go without if that's what I have to resort to & if it goes for too long, I'd rather kill myself and be done with the suffering. I mean is asking for a hug or someone to cuddle you that much to ask for really?

  • [Deleted User]Love_Arcitect (deleted user)

    Some videos I think relate to this topic.

  • [Deleted User]Love_Arcitect (deleted user)

  • WarmEnergyWarmEnergy

    Wow, @love_architect, that's actually a buddy of mine!

  • [Deleted User]Love_Arcitect (deleted user)

    @WarmEnergy which one

  • WarmEnergyWarmEnergy

    Andrew.

  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)

    The Walking Dead?

    Or is that Flesh Hunger?

    Brains Hunger?

    Brainnssssssssssssssssssss

  • cuddlebugTMcuddlebugTM

    Lol @chococuddles your brain thinks like mine sometimes

  • [Deleted User]Sunflowerfield (deleted user)

    I think homophobia is a huge cause of skin hunger, and affects men a lot more than women - because most men refuse to be affectionate with their male friends.

  • [Deleted User]Love_Arcitect (deleted user)

    Yeah its not a horror flick reference as much as everyone thinks that when you first hear the reference. Its actually a very difficult thing to go through as I am experiencing it now. I have to see a massage therapist because that is the only form of touch I can get right now. Mainly because there are no cuddlers in my area at all a few hundred miles and well most are not willing to make the trip.

  • [Deleted User]Greybeard (deleted user)

    @Sunflowerfield you’re probably right. Football players pat each other on the butt on the field, and snap towels at each other in the locker room, but beyond that, straight guys don’t much touch.

  • respectfulrespectful

    @Sunflowerfield I think there are various reasons ... a relevant thread: Men who don't cuddle men, why not?

    Since there are more men on this site than women, it would be helpful if it was an option.

    But for me personally it's just not the same ... I couldn't cuddle a man the same way as a woman, platonic as it still is. Hugs and perhaps a shoulder massage are as far as I would go.

  • [Deleted User]Love_Arcitect (deleted user)

    @respectful I feel the same way. I have buddies I grew up with even gay friends and we hug hello and goodbye and we do shoulder massage or put are arm over their shoulder. Which I am totally cool with. However cuddling, spooning I would feel a bit off. Mainly because its a different kind of feeling you get from a woman that only can be felt from a woman. Just her warm gentle feminine energy is something completely different, than masculine energy. As weird as it sounds, I can tell and feel the energy, as I learn a lot about energy and electromagnetic fields that come from the heart, learned through heartmath institute. I can feel the difference. Just as some can tell when a person walks in the room, their intentions. The energy they give off, can be felt. This is because it is a real phenomenon called electromagnetic, in which we all radiate & is scientifically proven. Are hearts have brain sensors just like the brain and our heart knows 7 seconds before the brain what is going to happen. As studied 7 seconds of darkness followed by a picture, The heart was able to sense if the image was positive or negative before the brain was able to see it!

  • [Deleted User]Greybeard (deleted user)

    @respectful @Sunflowerfield There are a lot of reasons that man to man cuddling is rare. You know in other forum sections, the subject of the pesky male erection has been addressed. We know that we have ways of dealing with it, whether it is a time out, or changing positions or others, but I think straight men worry about getting an erection while cuddling another man. What would it mean? Not much, actually, except that maybe the guy was relaxed, feeling comforted and letting go. But for fear that the other man, or anyone who heard about it would put a 3-letter label to the experience (rhymes with Gay) it is avoided at all costs. Sometimes it is referred to as the ick factor.

    But it has been imprinted into our minds from childhood. Girls can hold hands, but boys don’t! It’s more subtle than I described above. But it may also lead one to question whether, for most, platonic cuddling is

  • cuddlebugTMcuddlebugTM

    That is an upside to being a woman . Affection between each other isn’t looked on negativity .

  • respectfulrespectful
    edited January 2018

    @Greybeard, @cuddlebugTM It's a preference thing as well ... I can caress a woman's neck and back, but that's just not something I would do with a man. There's some kinds of affection that feel more appropriate for either gender for me. I would also show affection differently to a child. Though I'm happy to give an adult a piggy back or throw them in the air if they really want me to. :)

    I realise there is a whole lot more behind the word "appropriate" and it brings up gender identity, society's values etc. - but personal preference comes into it as well.

  • cuddlebugTMcuddlebugTM

    Yea that has a lot to do with society imo . Not all countries have the same hanguo about male affection . Preference is there but I think much of preference is connected to how society sees things and how we are brought up .

  • respectfulrespectful
    edited January 2018

    @cuddlebugTM Out of curiosity, for women, does cuddling a woman feel similar to cuddling a man? Would you do anything differently?

  • cuddlebugTMcuddlebugTM

    I feel less cautious with women and many tend to be softer . I do like to cuddle with thicker men because I like the softness but it isn't required . I’ve dealt with more men who want to be big spoon where I tend to like being the big spoon . If I feel safe with a man then it’s pretty much the same

  • [Deleted User]Greybeard (deleted user)

    @cuddlebugTM you nailed the connection between societal norms and preferences. I don’t think it is possible to pull the two apart.

  • respectfulrespectful

    @Love_Arcitect That's interesting.

    Does touch from a man satisfy your need for touch at all? I realise a hug (or even a massage) isn't the same as a cuddle ...

  • cuddlebugTMcuddlebugTM

    I don’t think you can but you can push past them . It take courage but many times it opens you up to very fulfilling experiences .

  • [Deleted User]Love_Arcitect (deleted user)

    Does nothing for me at all. Its like a handshake. Which is why I dont pursue it, I have no interest or does it satisfy my needs. With a woman its more like holding hands. Like I said its an energetic feeling I get from a woman. It heals.

  • respectfulrespectful

    @Love_Arcitect I get that, and it's more or less the same for me. Except in a situation where a guy gives me a hug as a father figure or something like that, which can be affirming.

  • [Deleted User]Love_Arcitect (deleted user)
    edited January 2018

    Yeah when I hang out with my father we hug and put are arm around each other and give each other back massages. Which Is comforting however its still not the same as feeling the warm healing touch of a woman. Its a completely different feeling.

    Another example is... A few of the people I know even a few friends of mine have suggesting getting a pet like a dog or a cat... Okay thats nice and all.. However same as I stated before its ok.. however does nothing for me. Its an energetic feeling I get. Is the best way I can explain it. When a woman touches me, it creates oxytocin and I become euphoric.

    Totally unrelated. Last night I had a dream of being cuddled by two women and it made me feel the same feeling. However when I woke up, I felt like I had cuddled for a little while which was kinda cool, I think because my mind thought it was real and actually experiencing it maybe that could be more beneficial to me if I could learn how to control my dreams better. lol

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