@Love_Arcitect "When a woman touches me, it creates oxytocin and I become euphoric."
Yep, I know that feeling ...
@Love_Arcitect "when I woke up, I felt like I had cuddled for a little while which was kinda cool, I think because my mind thought it was real"
Sometimes a few days after a cuddle I can revisit it in my mind and it brings back a lot of emotions. But it doesn't stay at that level for more than a week or so; after that becomes a sweet memory more than a feeling.
I personally think the difference has to do with conditioning .touch is definitely healing from a man or a woman. I do tend to get more give and take from women but I think that also has to do with how we are conditioned in society . Men are not taught to be nurturers even though they are just as capable . I love cuddling women but many times they struggle to just let someone else care for them .
@respectful - Sometimes a few days after a cuddle I can revisit it in my mind and it brings back a lot of emotions. But it doesn't stay at that level for more than a week or so; after that becomes a sweet memory more than a feeling.
I also experience that as well. It can come back the feeling and stay for a bit, bring back that euphoric feeling however it is not as intense or as fulfilling however after time, it does become a sweet memory more than a feeling and fades. I wonder if this is what they refer to as tethering the souls... Where you can feel the persons presence even at a distance.. and after time it fades like an echo over time if not continued... or reattached..
@cuddlebugTM
I am very caring and nurturing to a woman, I will ask her what she needs, how she feels, I will put my hands through her hair, till she falls asleep, kiss her forehead, Take care of her needs. I will cuddle her and be the big spoon, make her feel safe and secure. I am giving just as much as I am receiving. I am also aware of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and how we can be conditioned and uncondition ourselves and our beliefs. For me though like I said its the polarity of masculine and feminine energies, its like putting together two puzzle pieces, yin and yang. Not two of the same. For some that might be alright and for them, to each and their own. However I know myself and what I want and need.
That’s great you know yourself I wasn’t speaking of you specifically .
@respectful quantum-entanglement (Twin-Flames)
Nice thread.
It's interesting to see the difference in touch requirements for different people. Just looking at my own family, we are all different. I have one daughter who doesn't require much touch. She and her boyfriend have a great, strong relationship but they aren't very affectionate. When they watch TV they are on different ends of the couch. I have one daughter that requires lots of touch. She and her boyfriend are always holding hands or rubbing backs. Their relationship is no better or stronger than the first daughter. They just have different touch requirements.
I am a natural hugger. I just hug everyone. If there wasn't a cash register between us, I would hug the cashier at the grocery store! I have the great fortune to be able to cuddle almost daily with my business. On those days that I don't cuddle I genuinely yearn for it. To the point that I will call my personal cuddle partner to come cuddle with me.
For me, it a heart thing. My heart is full when I wrapped in someone's arms. It's simply my happy place.
@Love_Arcitect You and I each apparently got a different message from the video. It could be that I am wrong, and somewhere it did say something about actual hearts, but what I heard fairly close to the beginning was that it was talking about our energetic or spiritual heart, which is not at all the same thing as our physical heart as you implied.
To me, this is just one more indication of the communication problems you seem to have with people in general. Granted, as I said before, I could be wrong, but it doesn't feel like it to me. It feels like it is another indication that you have a hard time actually listening to what someone says. If a person doesn't completely hear what is said, then it is hard for them to communicate well at all.
I was going to comment on this on another thread, but it was closed before I had a chance to. However, this seems like a good place to bring it up. When a person with communication problems (previously self acknowledged) tries to defend and stick up for someone else with even worse communication problems, it does nothing to advance the cause of either. You may have noticed that you were getting a lot of resistance from others in your attempt to help out the other party. What I've said here will hopefully help you to know why, at this point. Also, a person who doesn't get it (someone else actually said that), shouldn't be telling others that they don't get it, at least IMHO. One last point. In that same thread, you mentioned threat several times, when no threats had been made. To be fair, taken in context, you probably meant thread or threads, However, it seems to me to be yet another indication of poor communication skills.
I hope you take all this in the same vein as I intend it. That is for it to be a helpful criticism. Jim
@I_am_Polylover Do you find this easy to read or difficult?
Yeah it sounds to me like you have misinterpreted things. I guess I could have had a hard time deciphering what they were saying between the name calling, racial remarks and the memes that were attacking my masculinity... You are entitled to your own opinions however I do not have to conform or agree with them. To each and their own, I have my own paradigm of the world & I will keep communicating that. I want a gender peace and a win win situation for both. To go on about a spelling error for a paragraph seems a bit much, dont you think... Do you really need me to clarify that? Then go on to say this is why I have bad communication.... like really dude... If You reference it, I will go back and spell check for you, if it's that big of a problem.. Where you cant decipher... I guess it is because you wrote a whole damn paragraph about it.. Honestly I am not sure I have the mental capacity right now to carry this conversation on with you.
Some things you will just have to figure out and decipher on your own I think because I really dont feel like talking about this. I was in a good state and bliss, now I feel emotionally drained by the energy you brought to me. Have yourself a great night or day. I am done responding to this atm. Hope everyone else is having a great day. Sorry if I misspelled a few letters as writing is not my best skill & apparently not communicating according to @I_am_Polylover
I hope you take all this in the same vein as I intend it - what does that even mean? That is for it to be a helpful criticism. - I did not find this to be helpful criticism I actually felt the exact opposite from the post.
Please no more posts about this in my thread as I intended this thread to be about skin hunger and do not want this thread shut down too!!
Remember when the forum was a place to find love and support and caring? Someone said it best when they said we are a big family. Sometimes we have our spats but we are always able to brush it off and sometimes just agree to disagree. Our family has been infiltrated by, you-know-who! I need our family back. I miss it.
I am sorry that you obviously didn't take my criticism in the vein that I intended it.
As someone who has had their threads hijacked multiple times, I certainly understand and respect your request for me to not post on this thread. If there is something here that I feel a great need to respond to, I will. However, I will no longer post directly in response to you, because I consider you to be a lost cause, and no longer worth my effort. Peace. Jim
I must say. I can certainly identify with skin hunger, especially with my love for hugs. Usually, going a day or two without hugs are okay while not preferred. However, the lack of such affection for over a week certainly leaves a negative vibe in its wake. I try to have at least one hug from a woman every day.
@ShoShoZZ
That;s good man. I hope you get a lot more hugs from women daily in your life. I know what that is like to feel skin hunger I am going though it myself. I have a condition called Fibromyalgia and has left me very isolated and what not and so it has been a struggle with my relationships over the last few years. I am trying a professional cuddler on Monday. Have you tried one of those or had much luck finding someone from this site to curb your skin hunger feelings?
I understand and have been reading about the skin hunger, and I can see why its an issue for some. What I don't like seeing is the approach in almost seemingly blaming women for a mans lack of attention and affection. I don't like how it seems to be portrayed that women are being heartless and not taking care of men and not being open to your needs, and are somehow responsible for the way that you are feeling. It feels like a guilting of sorts, and is almost like a "if you don't do this for me, then this will happen and it will be all your fault". And then the women are the selfish ones and the men are the hapless victims, slaves to the uncaring woman who wont give him affection. So whereas I don't disagree with the theory of skin hunger, the approach in how it is being presented on this forum leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth.
@pmvines Your paradigm is just a reflection of how you see it. Which is not everyone elses truth. Honestly everything you comment is a negative spin on things. Making everything someone is saying into a negative. I see you criticize a lot yet show no way or shape or form providing any type of solutions to anything other then commenting your negative outlook towards it. So you sir are not helping the problem but in fact making it worse. To be completely honest I dont like you or your views. I would prefer if you stay off my threads with your nonsense. Thanks
You cannot tell anybody on here what threads to comment on. It is all a public forum. Agree with me or not, I can still post where I choose.
@Scarlette Our family has been infiltrated by, you-know-who! I need our family back. I miss it.
Really... Someone thinks different than you.. So you want to kick this person out basically to have a all like minded group..
Playing mind games too like .. you-know-who... Like really
@pmvines Cool enjoy. I will however block you though.. Have a good one
@Love_Arcitect considering I have never attempted to contact you that's quite alright, block away
I actually am admitting that I don't like all the negativity that I have become involved in on this thread as well as a couple of others. I am willing to admit that I engage poorly and that I have been guilty of trying to one up. It takes two to tango, so I am removing myself from this equation. Find another dance partner.
Same s**t......different day...
@pmvines sweet man thanks I appreciate that! Respect.
COM'ON!!!! Must every popular thread have one or more personal attacks?! Like... WOW!
Rant finished.
@Love_Arcitect I'm sorry to hear that you suffer from Fibromyalgia. I just did a quick lookup... it appears to be very rough to endure. I hope your approaching session with the professional cuddler you have chosen helps to stem your feelings of skin hunger.
Since joining CC, I haven't had the privilege of meeting any enthusiast or non-professional cuddlers in person. I've met in person and cuddled with two professional cuddlers from CC: @SweetStuff and @ZeldaBrook, the latter on "unpaid leave." Both are awesome cuddlers with the Karma to match, except you can't see Zelda's right now.
Unto my experience, I would say that it is best to have a conversation and/or meet & greet with a cuddler before the first session. It was this with both of the above. Specifically for @SweetStuff, we first had a phone conversation one day, and then a meet & greet another day, before we cuddled for the first time. Since then, I've cuddled with her on multiple occasions. It's been more than 10 times over... I've already lost count at this point. Nevertheless, every cuddle session I've had with her squashed any feelings of loneliness, to say the least. She is very warm and affectionate. I would note that it isn't all about the money for her... cuddling is something she really enjoys. My very first session with her was on 01 SEP 2017. Before that, I used to patronize the go-go bars with abandon, and hugs were a very big part of any lap dance. Lo and behold, I haven't had a lap dance at the bars since.
Now, @ZeldaBrook proved to be quite the wild card. First, she's only 18 years old. In my cuddle searches, I omit any cuddlers under 21, so she wouldn't have come up. Nevertheless, she reached out to me on 10 OCT 2017 with a friend request. She was the first and is the only professional cuddler to have reached out to me in such fashion. While her age was a surprise, I still decided to reach out to her and we had a meet & greet. Based on what she told me given her time with CC, I definitely commended her attitude while I also had concern for her safety. She as well proved to be affectionate. She was very friendly and quite the conversationalist. I cuddled with her a few times, and we had a dinner once. Still, I am closer to and hang out with @SweetStuff more.
Hoping you shall also have positive remarks with your professional cuddler!
Thank you for sharing your experiences with me. That was really great to read! Yeah I do think you're right that it is best to greet and meet before a cuddle session. As it does make women more comfortable and yeah I do worry for their safety as well which is why I always ask when meeting up with someone I haven't met.. Lets meet someone public and somewhere you feel comfortable. I read a girls thread on here and messaged her about explained to her some ways to be safe about it by calling a friend or family member letting them know where and who and for how long those types of things. I mean it is always best when meeting a stranger. She said.. Thank you soo much that was very comforting. I think any good man out there wants to protect women and make them feel as safe as they can. I mean its kind of our duty. I am not sure why some men do some of the things they do, I guess mental health, environment two name a couple. I think more studies should be done on touch and learn more about skin hunger and how can we curb it and see I love how you said... I use to go to these go go clubs... then once I got these cuddles from CC... I no longer felt like I needed to go there anymore.... I mean if more men got platonic touch, from people, As pmvines says I don't think its the responsibility of women, however like you also said Shoshozz is that some women enjoy cuddling men, so they have no problem helping these men out and curbing their needs for skin hunger. Which I think might, I mean I am not a doctor or psychologist, I think might say make some men not act out or do bad things. I mean there could also get this touch from other men, dogs, cats, animals whatever might be. I think most are not aware of the need. So I think talking about it and the awareness of it is great! I am interested to see where the future goes with this research. I also read somewhere that if a man is upset, if a woman puts her hand on his chest... She calms right now.. I wonder if there is any truth to that?
Back to my story about my pro I reached out to mine because she was close, Still an hour away however there are no cuddlers in my area.. at all most live in the big city I wrote to them and most said they are trying to find someone closer or if I was in their area let them know.. A couple pro's I contacted in the summer have not been online in months... So After seeing her in my feed I said I was having trouble sleeping and would love to book a session with her to see if it would help me sleep and in one message she gave me her number said she was having a hard time getting onto the site and asked if we could just text. So I agreed and we talked everything seems to be going well. I read in the forums to stay away from people like this... However I think they are meaning men that act like this? I could be wrong.. on that..I did have another one ask to email and wanted to cuddle naked and offered to send me naked photos.. haha.. Which I thought was kind of interesting...I didnt take her up on the offer.. So back to the first one... she said she would also help make me some teas or something to help me sleep so I am willing to try and said she would do guided mediation... So After talking we figured we live about an hour away and she drives through my town for work. This is my first experience so far. I am looking forward to getting some love and affection. Even if paid. I mean I haven't really done this before, However I am willing to give it a try. To see if it does help with my skin hunger and overall wellness as I am sure it will as I have a pretty good indication of my wants and needs.
A few months back I was having lots of feeling of depression and anxieties because of my illness and I met someone and she came over we spent the weekend together and we cuddled so much and it lifted my spirit in so many ways. I can not even express how great it felt. She lived 5 hours away and came to see me and then she was moving here for college after she moved here I am not sure exactly what happened. I contacted her and she said she ruined her life and fucked up.. Was no longer in school and moved home... was in the hospital and in court.. I tried to message her a few times to ask her to see if she was ok and what had happened and she did not want to talk. Its unfortunate because I really did care about her. Kind of makes me really sad because she was going to become a conservation officer.
Anyways..Enough about that.. How do you feel about skin hunger and cuddling do you think that this could help men and women, people that suffer from skin hunger and have you read the article
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/affectionado/201308/what-lack-affection-can-do-you and how do you think we could approach things better to both sex's to make them work together for a win-win? where people would not get so offended or feel the need to attack each other...
Sorry kind of a lot there. Just curious what you have to say... Thanks
@Love_Arcitect
I mean if more men got platonic touch, from people, As pmvines says I don't think its the responsibility of women, however like you also said Shoshozz is that some women enjoy cuddling men, so they have no problem helping these men out and curbing their needs for skin hunger. Which I think might, I mean I am not a doctor or psychologist, I think might say make some men not act out or do bad things.
Indeed what they say is true. Women are a gift to men, not vice versa. I agree with @pmvines in that women should not be unconditionally blamed for a man's lack of attention and affection. Most women as well need affection too. They would also enjoy a healthy bond. Yet, @cuddlebugTM is also correct in pointing out the imbalance in society - how it's acceptable for women to embrace one another, but not so much for men. Therefore, it's arguable that women are far more desirable than men for platonic affection. Hell... the fact that female professional cuddlers are prevalent while I'm unlikely to see a male professional cuddler is one of many testaments to that. But like many other things in this world, such affection is a privilege, not a right. Blaming women unconditionally for lack of affection is an unhealthy sense of entitlement. Maybe I'm wrong, but I would say that most men who are unable to have a steady bond with another woman could have made better decisions. I've never had a girlfriend, and I do concede that I could have done better. Still, there are various avenues one can travel to earn or otherwise gain such affection on good terms. In that regard, I thank women who put themselves out there in the open, even if deliberately for $$, because they are fulfilling a need.
Anyways..Enough about that.. How do you feel about skin hunger and cuddling do you think that this could help men and women, people that suffer from skin hunger and have you read the article https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/affectionado/201308/what-lack-affection-can-do-you and how do you think we could approach things better to both sex's to make them work together for a win-win? where people would not get so offended or feel the need to attack each other...
I certainly agree that skin hunger is a problem - it certainly was for me. Questionable decisions led to it, and even more questionable decisions spawned from it, for better or worse. Hanging out at the go-go bars helped to alleviate this for me at first, but my cuddling with @SweetStuff does this on much better terms. I took a glimpse at the article, but haven't yet read it thoroughly. I have no answer on a better approach for a win/win, but I'm sure there's such an approach out there.
@ShoShoZZ Have you seen or read this article yet?
Is It A Man’s Responsibility To Make A Woman Feel Safe? https://www.sexyconsciousawake.com/women-feel-unsafe-and-men-need-to-wake-up-and-take-responsibility/
( I agree with pmvines in that women should not be unconditionally blamed for a man's lack of attention and affection. Most women as well need affection too. They would also enjoy a healthy bond.)
I wanted to bring this up because if women don't think it's their responsibility, then why should men take the responsibility to make them feel safe? Men should not be unconditionally blamed for womens lack of feeling unsafe because of some other men.. I mean is this not a two way street.. We give a little, get a little. A relationship is a conversation right about what our wants and needs are.. Its a negotiation to get these things.. For peace, a win-win scenario were both parties get what they want and need?
Also update.. My pro cancelled said if I came to her then should could do it... Not willing to drive and she feels uncomfortable. So I would have to drive to her to her office. After she had already agreed. Said she drove through my town and I was in luck! Yet the day before now I have to go to her. I guess because she feels unsafe.... So now I am stuck with the blame. It's my fault.
@Love_arcitect. Do you really blame her? I was amazed that a pro agreed to cuddle with you at all after the comments you leave on the forum.
It would seem that you bought yourself quite the enemies based on your comments throughout the forum, and it is not just Scarlette's post that brought this to my attention. As it is well established, professional cuddlers on CC do converse among themselves on the prospects of a potential client. Who knows... other pros may have well advised her against cuddling with you based on your comments, and that could have made her uncomfortable. She could have also had second thoughts for various other reasons that may not have been your fault.
I did read this recent article that you shared. The author does have a point.
I wanted to bring this up because if women don't think it's their responsibility, then why should men take the responsibility to make them feel safe? Men should not be unconditionally blamed for womens lack of feeling unsafe because of some other men..
Ok. This isn't the only scenario where such an analogy applies. For better or worse, statistics and experiences will fuel prejudice across various issues.
Moreover, there are certain actions in this world that should be done without expecting something in return, just because it is the right thing to do. Of course, for those same actions someone can also have a reason why (s)he wouldn't get involved. It is well known what women have to endure on a daily basis out in public from cat calling, improper touching, and aggressive behavior, to name a few. Surely you could be one who does none of the above. Still, if you see this happening to another woman in public and take no action, so could you expect that woman to view you negatively as a result, at least under most circumstances. Furthermore, your reasons for inaction would be irrelevant even if justified. This view doesn't just apply to the public mistreatment of women. It also holds true for other scenarios where someone is being wronged in public and you choose not to take appropriate action, like someone being bullied, someone being robbed, etc. Surely there are reasons not to get involved, but in most cases, it wouldn't avoid the negative reputation that follows.
I mean is this not a two way street.. We give a little, get a little. A relationship is a conversation right about what our wants and needs are.. Its a negotiation to get these things.. For peace, a win-win scenario were both parties get what they want and need?
Yes, a relationship is supposed to be a two-way street. It also requires something very important between the two: consent. Moreover, when combined with the other half of your comment, this suggests that a woman needs to be in a healthy relationship in order to feel safe. I can't agree there. A person's reasonable safety & security should not be tied to whether or not (s)he gives affection to another. Everyone is entitled to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.