Rape?

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Comments

  • [Deleted User]SexyBrit (deleted user)
    edited January 2018

    This issue is something I always worry about with regard to my cuddling friends on here. I'm glad it's being openly discussed and I hope that many find both support and good advice in the comments.

    @chococuddles
    "The rest of your pompous prose is so over-the-top it belongs in a Harry Potter book." That's a little harsh. A good vocabulary should be praised, not mocked. But then again I have been accused of being verbose on occasion... ;)

  • @chococuddles Ha! Well done. That's told me.

    @SexyBrit Are you sure comparing my writing to J.K. Rowling's wasn't a compliment? The internet jab was perfect, but I'm pretty sure being told I write like a super-successful author is a good thing....

    I'm curious to know whether ky_utie's satisfied with the way her thread went, too.
    @ky_utie: Did you learn what you were hoping to?

  • edited January 2018

    Hello everyone. Thank you for all these great responses. The debate about my title is hilarious but I understand it could be triggering. I’ll consider changing it but for now it seems to draw a lot of attention, which was what I wanted initially.
    I’ll follow all the great tips! Safety is always my top priority. I’m glad you all feel the same way. Stay safe everyone!

    @Morpheus @chococuddles @DarrenWalker I feel assured! ❤️

  • edited January 2018

    Rape is a risk in any social encounter, I would say cuddling is not really that different to dating. In both scenarios you should meet in public first to assess the person. Ensure you establish their true identity e. g passport. Ensure a close friend knows you are meeting this person, and that you call them occasionally to confirm you are okay. Ensure your date knows you have a friend checking on you. All of these things reduce your risk. I think a guy is much less likely to push boundaries if he knows you have his identity, and a friend backing you up.

  • Cuddling is definitely a calculated risk. @alexb2 is right in that it's a risk in any social encounter. As a medical professional, I did homecare for years. Daily, I would go into at least 5 different strangers homes. These homes were typically in Baltimore's inner city. The risk there was just walking the neighborhoods to get to the homes. Anyway, I think I got very used to being in stranger's bedrooms. In those situations, I had zero control over where I went or who I visited.

    As a cuddler, I have control. I can decline to enter a particular area or decline a particular cuddle. I can leave if I feel unsafe or threatened. I always prefer to host, as it makes me feel safer having my safety nets in place in my home.

    Unfortunately, rape is always going to be a threat. I personal feel more vulnerable to it walking to my car after dark than I do cuddling.

    Do what you need to do to protect yourself and be safe. I think as you gain some experience, you may feel more comfortable.

  • one reason why I think "go pro" (if I go!!!!)... its their business so highly unlikely to "cry rape" which although highly unlikely is an unforunate possibility (this is the reason why I am 99.9% never going to pick up a hitchhiker (esp. female). Absolutely agree and advocate the use of cameras/filming... again, with a pro one would feel quite assured that such records would be correctly archived/deleted and such details made very clear when signing any agreement before conducting business..... it would be bad for business/reputation to do anything with such records other= than required purpose. Of course, one would expect any agreement to also make it very clear the safeguards to the client as well as the cuddle pro.
    As for non-pros.... Im sure im stating the obvious and no doubt it has been mentioned (I havnt read all post on this thread).... get to know the person and reciprocate in kind; and certainly I would prefer to meet and do something other than cuddles first. Personally, i would love to meet a prospective cuddler for a walk, somewhere public (beach, country park, in town), add in a cuppa at a cafe/costa/maybe even a picnic... and just open up on the topic that will be on each other's mind; cuddles and related topics!...

  • [Deleted User]nono (deleted user)

    Hi. I get this is a serious topic like so many others.

    Still OP would you please change the title to something more appropriate and less constantly alarming? The word "Rape" followed by a question mark doesn't even make sense to begin with.

    It's just alarming to constantly be seeing that word on the forums and there are many things equally harmful and worse. There are also things that fall in between so it would really be nice if this was broad so it can cover many areas like "How to stay safe when Cuddling?" Or alternatively "Cuddle Safety Tips" I suggest then you can mention in the description what things you're most concerned about.

    Thank you and I hope you understand where I am coming from.

  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)

    @nono Welcome to TeamChoco! :p

  • It only stays at the top of the forum when you post to it

  • Great topic! I just joined today and the post, along with all of the comments, have been extremely helpful. Thanks, all!!

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