I have a rule of thumb that reminds me to "take nothing personally" (what others say or do generally has nothing to do with you). And at the same time, I take everything personally (because I can always find a lesson for me in every experience). All that said, there are lots of days when I have a quick moment to glance at a message & peep the sender's page, but not quite enough time to thoughtfully respond (assuming the original sent message was actually thoughtful itself). If you're just saying "hey what's up" or requesting a session but you have no karma + nothing substantial about You in your profile + no photo, then I likely will not reply with urgency, if at all. My pet peeve is the pandemic of impatience. It's like, cmon man, it's been a few hours since your message & you're already sending pass/agg followup retorts because I haven't yet responded to your initial "sup?" Lol, gtfooh. I work, I have a life to tend to, ya know? Take a breath & I will cuddle all that anxiety right out of you! 🙈😘😇
“99% of messages I get are rude and/or clearly from folks who did not read my profile. When somebody is respectful and has read my profile, I usually respond within minutes.”- I agree 100 percent.
I wouldn’t take it personally, I’m reserved and communicate when I’m comfortable .
Assume it’s a no until proven otherwise and move on.
If I find the message very offensive, I block.
It used to feel bad until I stopped caring. If someone doesn't respond, I keep it moving. Sending another message or being sad about it isn't going to make them want to talk to you. Just find someone else worth your effort. No need to waste emotional energy on someone who couldn't care less about you 👍
@JBearz Absolutely!
I have probably close to a dozen messages in my inbox that I haven't responded to, some I haven't read yet. It is not meant to be rude. Sometimes I'm at my capacity for peopleing. Something passive like watching videos or posting something on the forum is one thing because it is not necessarily interactive.
As a social worker with a high capacity complex caseload of people I see daily, there are times where I literally want to go home and sit still and not speak or be spoken to lol. I have to crawl back into my turtle shell for a while. So I feel it is only fair to respond when I am able to give thoughtful, interactive attention to it . So my apologies if this has ever made someone on here feel like I'm ignoring them . Its just how I am sometimes. It's not you, it's me.
@pmvines posted: "Something passive like watching videos or posting something on the forum is one thing because it is not necessarily interactive. I feel it is only fair to respond when I am able to give thoughtful, interactive attention to it."
This! Yes. Another reason I prefer responding from my laptop, and not my phone. 🤓
~ Sunset Snuggles
It is painful to be rejected. It sucks even more to be simply ignored, or even worse "ghosted." Heck that last thing just happened to me this past week.
If I were to put on my facilitator hat, one of the things we talk about at cuddle party is that silence is a NO. In that sense, you should just treat a non response as a no and move on. Trust me, it not much fun to do a cuddle with someone who just doesn't want to cuddle you - so consider it a blessing that by effectively saying NO they allowed the opportunity and space for someone much better to come into your life.
I don’t feel bad at all if no one responds. I am not coming off as a creep or anything (at least I hope not) and it is completely up to them if they want to respond. If not, I know it’s not personal because they don’t know me.
Edit: Plus, I know it can be very difficult having to deal with people that are not interested in following the sites rules. I fully expect the person I message to put their own safety above all else.
I think it is important to not conflate someone not responding to your message as "rejection ". There are many reasons why someone may not respond that have nothing at all to do with you . Important to not take everything so personally, and to expand your thought process to not being so self centric , and to not base your needs, self worth , and validity off of the attention you receive from others .
I know it is easier said than done, however I cannot over state how crucial it is to change your thought process and reactions to this kind of thing . We spend far too much time and energy blaming ourselves for the actions of others , which is actually a pretty one sided and self centered mindset, and only hurts how we feel about ourselves and those around us .
@pmvines I agree 100%
@pmvines what a fantastic attitude. It seems very freeing. I wonder how to achieve not needing the validation from others while simultaneously trying to connect with people, that’s hard for me
I sometimes feel that not getting a response is a type of favor the other person has done for me. If they are very self-aware they might see likely incompatibility right off the bat. That is not an insult to me; they have made it easy for me and kept both of us from wasting our time. For instance, maybe someone will not take the time to tell you/us that all smoking bothers them, including vaping. Most of us probably don't want a tobacco chewer; I'm not gonna put that in my profile. If you look like you are chewing tobacco in your pic or tell me you chew tobacco I won't take time I don't really have to say that. This is just one small example. When I feel grouchy/moody I don't respond that day. That doesn't help you or me if I respond when I'm in a bad mood. It can be so many things. Lots of life experience teaches you stuff like this.
@Charlie_Bear Exactly. It can't be personal when they don't know you
@pmvines- very sage advice indeed. Thank you, Sir!
Actually, I changed my mind, lol.. How do I delete my comment? 😂😂😂
I see it in a positive way, that even though they didn’t respond… I reached out and I’m growing in communication skills because of it by not being afraid of seeking what I want
I wish there was a way to preview a profile for every message received without the other person knowing. Because if you’re not interested you don’t want them to necessarily know that or inadvertently upset anyone just because you were looking them over before deciding to respond.
@PrettyLuv - I had somebody message me rudely, "What do you want?" Just because I clicked on his profile.
@PrettyLuv Looking at someone's profile without them knowing is a great idea. Some sites have "Hide My Last Visit" as an option while you are looking at a profile. Some have it as part of a set of prime features that you pay for.
@Mike403 you should have responded “what’s it to you”
I’d totally cuddle with you! Sending warmth and love! 🤗 try not to beat yourself up over it.
@homeboy what website is that?
@TouchedByOna I see it similarly
The way I look at it is that I don't message every woman to cuddle, I'm selective with who I choose, so what sense does it make for me to be upset for a woman that I message to be selective with who she cuddles with? Just move on from it. It would be nice to have a tag on a message that says 'read' so we can see that they read it and aren't interested, vs. didn't want to cuddle. I had one gal straight up block me for some weird reason but honestly I felt really good about it, the message was super clear.
@wilderdude I agree. Being blocked or not getting a response can be a good thing for both people. And I do prefer people being really clear. If everyone responded to me I would wonder what's up. It wouldn't be right; something would be off.
I used to let stuff like that get me down but once thing I've learned is that this world will chew you up and spit you out and just go on like it ain't no thing, so a thick skin is essential for survival. Wish I would've learned this years ago when I was too concerned with being a nice guy.
I wouldn't say it feels bad. More like expected, which is kinda why I stopped initiating contact. Why make first contact when it's inevitable that they won't respond?
@homeboy i love how it has “send him to a friend” as an option.
@BrianL but then how will you make any contact?
Why does it feel like we’re talking about galaxies.
@achetocuddle very good points!
@PrettyLuv I don't, so nothing changes.
Managing rejection and insecurities is a thing. Just because you send a message, doesn't mean they have to reply.\