Definitely like the idea of an "ok to contact first" section on your profile. I certainly think that's more relevant than your job section. Clearly there are folks like myself who see no issue with it (or even welcome it), and those that liken it to 2nd degree assault.
While it is rare. I have had a pro cuddler contact me just because she wanted a new friend and not because of money or seeing me as a potential client. But it's only happen maybe twice in the last 5 years
@Unscented_Lemon I understand that cuddling is sometimes part of the therapy. I never said it wasn’t or that it wasn’t valid. I simply stated my own unqualified advice and opinions.
What’s more important to me is the idea that no one is entitled or owed protection, and it’s nobody’s obligation to provide that. Of course it is greatly appreciated and wonderful when it is provided, especially to those who need it the most.
Cheers.
The times pros have contacted me, I jokingly replied "hey, I thought I'm supposed to contact you." They haven't responded well to that.
@WriterGF I'll admit that it was harsh and not necessarily representative of how pros are as people. I apologize for that, you are right. I should not generalize or be so unkind. It was very wrong of me. @BmoreBruh a "do not call list" of sorts wouldn't be a bad idea .
I know that my opinion was harsh, but I am tired of people contacting me for money. Scammers, various random causes or charities, and politicians call me out of the blue. I know, it sounds like I am making it seem like second degree assault, or some other horrific crime. I just feel that strongly about it.
Sadly, you don't seem to understand just how much it hurts to find out that the person contacting you won't cuddle unless you pay for their services. How your heart sinks after a long period of searching for someone to cuddle with, then you see the pro title and their advertising blerp.
If I want to pay for someone to cuddle me then I'll contact them. I don't want them to freely contact me to advertise their services. It is part of why I had to put a note on my profile so that pros would stop contacting me. I just didn't want to feel that hurt again.
Now, I do think that it is fine for them to post an ad in the forums advertising their services. This is a public space, a bulletin board of sorts.
Edit: Clarity in phrasing.
Why not someones got to break the ice
BenMac you didn't say a single thing wrong in your post. Men's self worth and lived experience is minimized by everyone and everyone wants to connect it with a flaw in the guy struggling so you regret even trying to be heard. I see it like everywhere a f**** go..
I've enjoyed talking to the pros that want to have friendly and fun convo and I've not enjoyed the one that cold-messaged me and said I'm only $100 an hour. Yuck, Lol.
I highly doubt that most good pros want to cold call enthusiast. Not speaking for myself but it seems like most pros have plenty of clients. I do think it’s good to let someone know that you’re coming to their town.
Now one of my clients had a pro message him after a bad cuddle, saying hey do you want to cuddle again? She bugged him several times. Most likely the people that are messaging enthusiast are either scammers, or sex workers or drug addicts. Most really good pros don’t need to cold call people.
When someone is new to cuddle comfort I do say welcome, but they are on a Cuddling site and most of the people that they will be cuddling will be pros most likely so it doesn’t hurt to let someone know that you’re there for them, whether it’s a meet and greet a public cuddle or maybe eventually a cuddle.
@CuddleDuncan "protect the vulnerable"? You have to be trolling, right?
I don't think pros should message enthusiasts with the intention of obtaining a client.
@KozyKim I agree and it's been a pleasure to talk to pros like you:)
Dam yall really are harsh on each other. I don't want to be associated as pro or an enthusiast. My addition would be that I could send messages(in my personal opinion). I haven't initiated the majority of people that I've seen. I only just solicited for 2 days this month. Which yielded 2 follow throughs. 1 of those people were actually in need of a friend right when I got in touch and was in fact happy I made the first move. Every single person I've met says they thought I was probably flooded with messages. I am not whether serious inquiry or bogus. I don't get many messages. This is fine. I actually like for a person to naturally have an interest in me. Yes I'll vamp up the profile in time to truly determine this all. Just adding this for the people who think all pros are swimming in clients and don't want to take a chance. I was happy to initiated those conversations and experienced rejection(no reply) mostly which is quite normal. I think we should all be allowed a message and if not received well, pros should have ware-with-all enough to get the hint. Same for an enthusiast. Edit: Meant to add that this month a pro sent me a sweet message just to be nice. It made me feel so good which gave me the idea to send the message first to see what happens.
@Halfnuggie you make a very valid point. Sometimes you can read a persons profile and see that they’re shy or that they may need extra care but they don’t know how to reach out. I had a client like that I told him that I’m coming to Nashville and he was so thrilled because he really needed a mother‘s love. Even his wife knew about me and agreed to the cuddle. So you’re right sometimes we have to initiate I guess it’s just intuition or just knowing your client but I don’t think pros are just trying to do it to make money. I think we’re in it because we love to help and this is our gift. Well said @Halfnuggie
I guess I was just defending the pros.
@CuddleDuncan Is that sarcasm? It’s not like we get more than one message per month so… it’s perfectly fine.
@BenMac I hear you -- but if you are waiting for a female enthusiast to contact you about a cuddle out of the blue, you have a better chance of a unicorn strolling across your lawn. Female enthusiasts are buried in messages from men on this site, they have no need to cold contact anyone.
@KozyKim Thank you for understanding my interpretation of the post. Glad you said that cause intuition does play a factor. Your point is certainly valid. Such layered people we are in contact with! Happy to hear that you put in this effort. The cuddle was likely fantastic just in knowing these consents were extended.
*the people I did send a message to had visited maybe even multiple times but no message. My intuition would tell me to inquire for myself. Also never shook anyone for a dime in my life so my messages at least are harmless.
@KozyKim @Halfnuggie it sounds like when you contact someone its typically for the sake of saying hello . Nothing at all.wrong with that. I welcome it , as well as others . I think unfortunately, some folks on here have such negative reaction and push back because they are resentful to be honest . I think so many folks of all genders assume the worst when someome is.friendly, and that it means they want something from them . I'm not sure if some of them could ever be convinced otherwise because their resentment and mistrust impacts how they feel and skews their perception of the intent of others lies really deep . I dont feel this way, but def do see it with some people on here.
@dave31415 yoj have been here long enough. I often don’t agree with almost anything Duncan says but he does mean every word he writes. And is consistent. I do believe him that he has conviction behind what he says, though very hyperbolic. To each their own.
@pmvines most of my life I’ve been misunderstood or people have been suspicious of my kindness until they get to know me. My love language is touch and acts of service. So I do love to reach out and help people. Because I know what it feels like to be held and to be helped. It’s an amazing feeling and why would I not want to help someone else. That’s basically it. No hidden agendas. Most likely @Halfnuggie the same as I, we are just cozy people. I felt that way my whole life I love being close to people. I am not claustrophobic. I wouldn’t mind a bunch of people laying around me and then on top of me, that’s why I love cuddle parties.I always wish we could sit closer in public. I met this older guy he’s about 90 at an art gallery we sat on the couch and talked for about a half hour, I sat very close to him, I could tell that he didn’t mind. It made the conversation so much more enjoyable to be close. I love @CuddleDuncan!! His description of platonic cuddling in one of the forms was the best I ever heard and that’s exactly what I’m about:)🤗
@pmvines Yes, deep it is. I know people who created those resentful people. They have a reason to come from a hurt place so I'll extend only so much grace. That acknowledgement feels stellar! More importantly, I live for the comedic relief you bring to the forums!!
@KozyKim So wholesome that was! I didn't want to point out this, for no special reason, but your profiles omits such an incredibly friendly pheromone! I wanted to greet you badly! Unfortunately I'm just hard of hearing, soft-spoken so being close is necessary but always a joy! I've been a massage therapist my entire adult life which has turned me into a touch junkie. Haha.
@Halfnuggie thank goodness we’re not too far away we will definitely meet soon even if I have to come that way. There is a cuddle party coming in January I got a find out the details but it’s going to be in Franklin Pennsylvania at the wildcat mansion. I’ll give you details when I find out. Another pro is putting it together.
Thanks for your encouragement and kind words. I’m so glad you’re on this site. I’ll direct all good cuddler‘s to you!!
@KozyKim yes I always planned too after stopping through your profile but glad to hear sooner than later!! Also wow wow! Listen lady, I'll be messaging you myself for details! Had no idea that was goin on. And much thanks!
I've messaged enthusiast's before but clearly stated that I was not looking to charge them or advertising my service. I just wanted to get to know them and eventually cuddle for free if they found interest. I didn't know there was a rule so I guess I need to brush up.
There’s a rule? It happens fairly regularly.
@MrMarkAndrew Yes, evidently there is. A pro is allowed to message if someone has visited their profile. If not, they are not supposed to message a member. That's what I have heard, anyway.
@WriterGF you are correct!
I’m happy for any pro reaching out to me. It helps convince me that this thing is still turned on. And I only charge them $40/hour for the conversation
Dave31415 😆 OriginalIrish, Ive wanted to do that at times, it’s sort of a bummer once you have a pro account that you can’t just do an enthusiast cuddle on occasion 🤷♀️🥳