I just want to jump in and say there was no way for anyone to know who the pro was so I can promise you that none of us contacted her to tell her to cancel or whatever
It's okay, I'm honestly starting to think this is not the place for me, I came here for help and all I have encountered is resistance from people, I try over and over again to express my wants and needs and how not having them makes me feel. I consistently get ridiculed by people in this group. So I'm just about done with life and everything in general. I honestly have put up with this most of my life, Every relationship fails, every time I try to make anything work It fails, no-one seems to get me and I don't seem to get them so I guess the world would be just a better off place without me. I mean its pretty clear people don't want me here, So I might as-well make myself and everyone else happy and just end my life. That way I wont be a burden to anyone, they wont have to listen to me bitch and complain about my needs or wants I can then be in total silence and at peace and I wont have to deal with the suffering. I wont have to defend myself, I wont have to worry about anything, I wont have to have a need for physical touch or affection. I'll just be
@Love_Arcitect - I am sensing that you are in an incredible amount of emotional pain at the moment. So when you say just now "I'm honestly starting to think this is not the place for me....." - I think you may be right. Please let me explain....
I think right now, given where you are, it may be beyond anyone within this community to offer you the kind of help that you need. I strongly urge you to reach out to a qualified mental health professional.
Finding a woman to cuddle with cannot begin to alleviate the kind of suffering that I sense you are experiencing.
You have just admitted to all of us one here that you are contemplating ending your own life That is a very serious thing. Not something I take lightly.
I will fully admit - I have only been glancing through your posts. I do not know your entire story. But I feel the pain in the words you wrote just now up above.
I urge - PLEASE SEEK HELP OUTSIDE OF THIS FORUM. Call a crisis line. Talk to a family member, a doctor, therapist.
Anyone else reading this who knows Love_Arcitect better - care to chime in here? Thanks
@Love_Arcitect I apologize in advance for jumping in this late in your discussions, and I admit I haven’t read it all. But you’re here looking for help, and that might not be possible in this way. Adjusting to a world that doesn’t fit your wants and needs is more common than you might think. This is why we have professional counselors who have education and training as social workers, psychologists and the like. There is no shame in therapy, and it can really help you sort out what parts of your life you can fix and how to get started with it. It can be costly, but health insurance, if you have it can help. There are also non-profits around the country that do this work with a sliding scale if you need that. But you’ve made the first step, admitting that the world around you is not aligned with your wants and needs, and you need help with that. But rather than tossing it out in a web site, you really would be well advised to take it to a professional therapist. And if she or he pisses you off royally the first or second visit, you are in luck. They are beginning to understand you, and will help you if you stick with it.
@ I would argue this - Finding a woman to cuddle with cannot begin to alleviate the kind of suffering that I sense you are experiencing. As this is what I stated I needed and everyone even yourself is telling me that this is not what is going to help me. See you still arent listening to what I have been saying and pushing your ideas onto me. I have seeked out professional help and I know what I want and need. SO STOP TRYING TO TELL ME WHAT I NEED!
I've called these places, a crisis line numerous times... I've talked to my doctor, I seen a therapist. It's environmental they said. Its my surroundings, Not me. If I can't get what I want or need for years... What does that do to a person? Do you know .. probably not.. I tried to explain yet no one listens.. They want to feed me more of what they think and what they want... Selfish people.. No one person is selfless and cares what I want or need and is listening to that!!
@Love_Arcitect I apologize in advance for jumping in this late in your discussions, and I admit I haven’t read it all. But you’re here looking for help, and that might not be possible in this way. Yeah because this site is not about cuddling? Getting physical attention... I tried telling you over and over.. I understand the psychology of it. I was trying to explain it to you. Instead everyone wanted to get offended and say it's my fault.. and say I am blaming others... I am just here looking for help in the forms of physical affection.. Which I have not got. I just encounter flaky people, people that want money or people that want to one up me and treat me like shit.
the world around you is not aligned with your wants and needs, and you need help with that. Physical touch ... physical touch in the form of affection from a woman.. Yeah that is too much to ask for .. that is my wants and needs...
I care for people, I do all these things... Yet I dont get nothing in return...
All this site has brought me is to get more upset and more angry. So yeah you're right I don't belong here. People just want to set me off then help me. So cool. later.
Honestly I don't really care if this is how you think I am all the time. I am a very compassion and calm person. However I am angry and I have a right to show my anger and speak up for what I want and need as an individual. I do not hurt anyone. I would rather take it out on myself or in a positive manner. So to you that think otherwise you;re welcome to think as you want. Not one person can consist of one emotion for their entire life or day. As the average person experiences many emotions throughout the day. So before you judge me maybe judge yourself.
@Love_Architect
Wow... I'm sorry to hear that have endured so much suffering in life. At this point, I have to agree with @SJSpooner and @Greybeard. You need help, the likes of which you are unlikely to find here. I as well urge you... please seek professional help. Surely there's someone out in your area who can better understand you and help through your crisis. Taking your own life serves only as a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
And I just saw your recent comment as of 15:30 EST.
You certainly do have the right to vent your anger, but doing so in this manner will serve only to further alienate you from the CC community, to say the least. You definitely crave affection from a woman - that's understandable. However, it is unlikely that you will receive such affection from a woman here, unless she reciprocates your desire and/or you are willing to pay for her time. Furthermore, negative comments you may have left throughout the forums will further reduce your prospects. Note that there are many men among the CC community who did not have the privilege of cuddling with a woman who cuddles just because (enthusiast/non-professional), myself included. You are not alone in that regard.
Well, all the best and good luck!
If you want to defuse a man. Its pretty simple...
Thats all it takes.. The reason men get upset or angry is because they are not feeling understood or they wants or needs are not being met. Simple.
Yeah I don't want to be in a community where I am viewed and judged by others determines wither or not I deserve love and affection.. I certainly should not have to pay for love and affection either. If that's what this community promotes I honestly dont want anything to do with it.
I believe I deserve love and affection regardless of my actions or speaking my mind.. I am a very compassionate and empathetic person to others. Yet no one is that too me. They want me to act their way or pay for love and affection.
You can’t expect that from strangers . Family maybe friends can give you unconditional love and affection .
Reality is The things you do and say have consequences .
Also it’s not women’s job to defuse men . It’s a man’s responsibility to handle his anger responsibly . You are responsible for your words and actions . You are responsible for your response to things .
Wow... quite the unhealthy sense of entitlement. You are certainly entitled to the PURSUIT of love & affection from a woman, but I'm not too sure you're entitled to have it outright. Whether or not you deserve it, there must be a woman willing to give it to you, or it isn't going to happen.
Moreover, NOTHING is free in this world. Even if it looks like it's free, it isn't. If it doesn't cost you, it costs someone else. Perhaps you disagree with explicitly paying for affection, and that's your prerogative. On the contrary, some would rather it that way for various reasons.
At this point, I would say your comments have been stirring the waters. @Mark, any thoughts?
I've spoken to him privately and we both agree that this community doesn't seem a good fit for him.
@Mark - Thank you very much for taking action here. I wish him all best.