Good morning. When meeting a pro cuddler do you think it’s ok to have a small gift to give along with the fee? Or is that considered bad form crossing a boundary? Thanks.
@WilliamZ I personally see nothing wrong with it! One of my cuddles buddies had chocolates 🍫 for me and I appreciated it very much! Definitely apart of what made that cuddle session great!🎉
I think it's a sweet sentiment, but chocolate seems romantic, which gives off the wrong kind of vibe for platonic cuddles.
I would reserve gifts for once you know a cuddle buddy better, and then make it personal to their taste or interests, perhaps reserving it for a birthday or holiday. There's nothing wrong with giving gifts if that's one of your love languages.
~ Sunset Snuggles
Chocolates are only romantic if there is a ribbon and a bow on it.
I don't see anything wrong with bringing a small gift if you're feeling generous! Chocolates are great, but I once had a cuddler bring me two beautiful 3D-printed dragons that I now keep in my office! 😊
I generally do a small gift card. It’s not personal, but still shows appreciation
Pro Cuddler here- I appreciate thoughtful gifts, the sentiment stays with me! Sometimes, a Cuddler will ask if id like a beverage from the store (sealed) before arriving which is thoughtful!
I once got a phenomenal bottle of wine for a cuddler I had met multiple times with. She had been having a very difficult work and had mentioned that to me, So i got it for her, asked if I could drop it off and she absolutely loved it ...and it cheered her up. I would think chocolates would be fine...it's the heart and sentiment behind the gift that matters.
I'm fairly new here, but there is a lot of talk about how pros are professionals performing a service much like any other professional: a doctor, a therapist, a masseur, etc. If that's the case, it would seem strange to me to bring a box of chocolates to any of these other professionals. I'm not sure why pro cuddlers should be treated differently.
Chocolates are like cuddling—they are only romantic if you make it that way or you buy into the whole marketing of chocolate as an aphrodisiac scam.
Kinda have to agree with @homeboy on this one . I think it creates confusion about boundaries for both parties, as well as unclear expectations for future visits with others .
I am fortunate to have some amazing friends from the site , non pros as well as pros, and if we are just hanging out doing non cuddle site related stuff then we might buy each other lunch or a fun small present from time to time . Last week I even bought art from a pro friend to help support her art showing. But if you are talking strictly in context of platonic cuddling and more pointedly with hiring a cuddler, then lines shouldn't be blurred.
Good morning 🌅 , so many ways to look at it, and I think it depends on the pro … I think some will absolutely love it and others might feel a bit strange about it, …. Personally if I was to book a cuddle session with someone I have some type of rapport on the forums with, chances are I know what they tend to like or makes them happy so I might just lead that way , but chances are I won’t if I don’t know the pro from the forum .
As a pro cuddler here , I bring chocolate often to the cuddle session(s) , so do some of my repeat clients … it’s a nice icebreaker for first met cuddler, and a plus sharing with repeat client, just make sure ask if they have any allergies to it before sharing 😊, as it might contain nuts ….
Lindor is so decadent , Whitman's has a nice little mini box too
I always find it really sweet when this happens, or even things like water or snacks. Just check for allergies.
Rules and customs work so long as everyone is on the same page. If you bring or accept gifts and both parties are happy, fine. It’s a nice gesture.
But I have read soooo many posts here about women complaining about men behaving badly. I always take the position that men often wind up here not knowing the rules. Platonic cuddling is the subject of wink-and-nod jokes in the larger community. I’ll bet that a poll would show that 75 percent of men (and women for that matter) think it’s a front for sex work. And then these guys get here and see women in what the general public would call provocative poses. And then they discover actual sex workers. With that background, I think it would be entirely understandable that a man would approach a pro assuming sex is on the table and hear any protestations to the contrary as a sex worker simply being careful not to get busted. Be clear: I don’t approve of this sort of bad behavior. I’m just saying I understand the genesis of it.
It’s in that environment that I judge the prudence of a man showing up for a first-time platonic cuddle session with a box of chocolates. What could possibly go wrong?
For people with established relationships who are both able to intuit the meaning of a gift, fine. As I said, it’s a nice gesture. But my wise counsel would be to avoid gifts on first-time sessions between clients and pros. And if I was the owner of a British cuddle site, I’d add it to the terms and conditions as a “best practice”: avoid—not prohibit, but avoid—gifts on first-time sessions.
But it appears that not a few people here think that gifts are okay. No way to uncrack an egg. And there’s no way that an established practice is going to end because @homeboy and @pmvines don’t think it’s a good idea. But pro cuddlers please, the next time that a man hits on you, understand the environment in which they are making that request and the environment in which they hear your response. It’s an environment in which, among the other things I have outlined, they are told it’s okay to bring a box of chocolates to a woman on the very first platonic cuddling session.
I figure just being able to cuddle with me is a gift in itself lol 😂
OP here. I tried it this afternoon and the box of chocolates was very well received. Next time I think I’ll bring something for her cat. 🐈⬛ The post about other professions not receiving gifts made me smile because I’ll often bring a package of Trader Joe cookies to my Supercuts appointment and to my monthly psych visit. Coincidentally in all 3 of these examples the professional is a woman.
@WilliamZ 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻It’s always about context. Like @dave31415 mentioned earlier, if you wrap it in a bow with a rose it does change things. But just a bag? Just a bag is a conversation starter or it means you asked her what she likes. I usually ask what they like in regards to something before we meet. I am glad it went well for you.
I've worked in the medical field for the last 10 years and have received many gifts from patients around holidays or those that just wanted a way to say "thanks for taking care of me." Gifts ranged from home-baked goodies, candy, gift cards, wine, origami and one gave me a costume-jewelry type bracelet that I still have hanging on my rear view mirror. I would never expect it from any of them, none were ever considered inappropriate but also, none were brought the first time they went to the office.
What's the difference between a gift or a tip? The intention or the physical act of giving? Last time I checked the overall opinion of cuddling is kindness. Last time I checked the overall opinion of tipping is kindness. Last time I checked the overall opinion of a gift is kindness. Be kind in what you do and what you give from the intention to the physical act.
It happened to me just once, and I thought it was a sweet gesture. But also realized during the session that it was probably meant romantically and that made me a little uncomfortable only because he tried a little to push boundaries and he was also married. I felt bad about the whole situation.
I'm not a pro, but when someone bring us goodies to share, I'm hella stoked!! If they were just for me though, I might see that as kind of odd.
Also, I've brought gifts for multiple people (and one's kitty) on a first or subsequent meets, and have also not. It just depends on if I happen upon an idea of something I think they might appreciate or see something that makes me think of them.
I've also given things I've created with them in mind, but I think (as another mentioned in a way), the company and cuddles have been the true gift ~ for both of us.
I’d accept a box of chocolates if my cuddle partner wrote the line that goes with it.
Forrrest
i don’t see a problem, one of my clients orders me dessert every time i see him
@WilliamZ I think it is a thoughtful gesture and communicates value of that person. Tokens of appreciation are common throughout all professions.
@homeboy how the world did a thoughtful gift progress to finding sex workers here 😳
I dont accept gifts, however, @BgstickTeddyBea brings up a good point. Lol in general it is crossing a boundary, but for the most part depends on the person/situation. With cuddling you may show gratitude by setting up another session 😅 In my experience, those that bring gifts are viewing session as more of a date or at least confusing it with one. So I would still rather accept extra cash as a "gift" as it's less personal (and I can get gas with it lol). Holding the boundary with gifts also reinforces the platonic nature of session. As an enthusiast that's different as often an emotional boundary is crossed/friendship develops.
I gave out a couple boxes around the holidays...never occurred to me that it may be considered out of bounds.