Feeling a little discouraged!

sweetangelpmsweetangelpm
in General

As the title states, I am discouraged. I have made a suggestion to someone from this site since I am not ready to cuddle one on one yet. I stated my reasons why I wanted to wait. One, I want to get to know this person better before I am able to do that and Second, I want to at least get involved in a group cuddle before I can do this. I made a suggestion since some have mentioned this to meet for coffee for something. My suggestion was received but I did not receive a response I would have expected. And, I just don't know. I am verey new to this and I don't want to go in to this cold and not be able to learn how this works. Now I am not sure if I am saying the right things to make it clear that this is my wishes. I have been feeling like this all afternoon and debated whether to post this or not figuring it won't make any sense to anyone or not. I did not state that I am blind and safety is my most priority when I meet anyone from the internet. Whether it be here or any dating site. Anyhow I feel some better but not quite enough as I just don't know how to make sense to some my reasons. I don't know if if it is desperation or what.

Comments

  • respectfulrespectful
    edited January 2018

    Your suggestion to meet for coffee was very reasonable. If he doesn't want to do that, then that's his decision, but he should respect your wishes.

    It might be a good idea to mention your blindness to people you are going to meet, since it might prevent some awkwardness when you do. I think people will understand you wanting to be safe.

  • [Deleted User]Alternis (deleted user)

    Safety is absolutely important and even more so if you are blind. I hope you are able to find a cuddle group and get accustomed to cuddling. Maybe you can get to know me and I could help out as well.

  • I_am_PolyloverI_am_Polylover

    If I'm not able to host a party myself, we can make a trip out to Santa Monica, to one of the Cuddle Sanctuary parties.
    <3 Jim <3

  • sweetangelpmsweetangelpm

    Thanks to all of you who gave your input. I really appreciate that.

  • netrunnernetrunner Mod

    I'm going to second @respectful and @Alternis ... I agree completely in wanting to get to know someone better and talk a while before meeting up with them to cuddle. It's completely understandable in wanting to get to know someone a little better since cuddling and being that close with someone is so personal in and of itself. While talking online is great, asking to meet in person before cuddling up with them can help put both sides at ease as they are being cautious and seeing if the person online is the same way in public and if there is any connection for an enjoyable cuddle session.
    I've seen it listed on some profiles that cuddlers even require a Skype call or meeting for coffee before the cuddle session. It shouldn't be seen as a challenge or an insult to the other person, but rather someone thinking things through.. you are meeting someone you met online, not everyone online is who they say they are, and people have to keep that caution about them until the are sure they can rest easy around them when meeting this way.
    I also agree that mentioning on your profile about your blindness will give anyone reading it a little insight into you and keep awkward moments to a minimal especially when meeting for the first time.

    Most everyone here that is active, both Pros and non-Pros, will wholehearted agree that being safe and doing whatever you need to to feel safe when meeting someone new is the top priority. For a time there was a post on here about people who notify a friend, family member, and even several regular and trusted users of the site said that if you're going to be meeting up with someone and want a person to check-in with to reach out to them. Let them know who with, where, and for how long you plan to cuddle with someone and message them at the start of meeting, some time into the session, and at the end that everything so if you don't check-in by a certain time or message about being in trouble then someone else knows all the details to try to get help with and for you too.

    Just my thoughts and I do apologize if I rambled a bit :)

  • sweetangelpmsweetangelpm

    Thanks!

  • LovelightLovelight

    I actually know a little bit of Braille alphabet and while I was learning it at some point I got sidetracked. Just saying lol, I find multiculturalism and all kinds of languages fascinating. :)

    Now to your post, it's absolutely reasonable and encouraged to meet somewhere comfortable first.

    I would mention having a disability or anything else relevant such as can't host etc, as soon as possible like by day 2 of conversing if not sooner. I can understand and it takes time to get to that level of comfort and strength. If they reject, be happy that you both saved your time and you will meet others who would not mind!

    There are ~ 7.5+ billion people on Earth. There are sure many you will vibe well with. Keep moving til you find the Mutual Sparks! I know you will. :)

    If we get hung up on the past we will miss the opportunity to show our glow to the many we meet! Think back to the past just enough to reflect and learn from. Keep on moving with your lovely smile and even lovelier heart. <3 :)

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited January 2018

    Also never apologize or feel bad for outlining your boundaries and if you're not meeting anyone for awhile for whatever reasons (you don't even have to explain yourself especially if they're still a stranger to you). It is perfectly okay to say no, not now. A reasonable person will be understanding and respect you and your decisions. :)

  • sweetangelpmsweetangelpm

    Thanks Lovelight. And, everyone who commented here, your words are encouraging. I have thought on this all night. Thanks again. <3

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