Lying about age

[Deleted User]NourishinNorski (deleted user)
in General

Why do men lie about their age on here? Age isn’t a factor in whether I choose to cuddle with someone, and I think most pros have the same approach. I can’t speak for enthusiasts though.

I had one client recently who listed himself as being in his late 20s, then mentioned in a session that he immigrated to the US to get a master’s degree about 20 years ago 🤔 it wasn’t until I checked his page again after the session that I realized he had completely lied about his age. And this isn’t the first time I’ve run into this before.

I’m much less inclined to have another session with someone if I realize they haven’t been honest in their bio or in their communication with me. Dishonesty is a deal breaker for me, and probably most pros.

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Comments

  • WKplatonicWKplatonic
    edited February 2023

    Men lie about their age for many different reasons. Be careful and protect yourself.

  • cde123cde123

    I would assume he's hiding more, like his marital status, but I guess you never know.

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup
    edited February 2023

    It’s a red flag for sure, I wouldn’t cuddle with someone who lies about their age either.

    Without knowing this person, I can’t tell you why he lies about his age. Without any prior context, the two most obvious are : he may be trying to hide his identity (from a spouse of wife), or maybe thinks he will be rejected by younger cuddlers if he lists his true age. Any reason to lie about age is not acceptable, regardless.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    Or maybe he thinks a younger woman won't cuddle with him if she knows how old he is. Some people own their age, some people run from it.

  • Mr_Cuddle_BearMr_Cuddle_Bear

    I have no idea why a man would lie about his age on here.

    I DO know why female pros lie about there age on here.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I am usually my age. My job as a Time Machine specialist muddies the waters though.

  • [Deleted User]Mman (deleted user)

    Mostly, I forget how old I am.

  • [Deleted User]MrAdmirer (deleted user)

    I'm sure they lied because they lack confidence in the truth and are afraid they won't get the first cuddle...they are certainly not thinking of the second. I went 'pro' full well knowing that I'm not going to have a plethora of female cuddlers knocking down the door to hire me, but more so that any cuddler I would like to book with would have full confidence in knowing who I am

  • _marC_marC

    to be young and be accepted

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    But seriously, age is such a trivial matter to lie about to a pro or enthusiast that it definitely makes you question the truthfulness of an answer to a more serious question like “do you believe in consent?” Or “do you understand my rules?”

    Lying so casually about age could be a tell that you are dealing with a sociopath.

  • netrunnernetrunner Mod

    This isn't an official response, just my opinion and observations.

    There are a couple of reasons anyone on the site would lie about their age and only one of them might be a partial good reason.

    • Non-Pros will lie if they think they can get away with it but this is mostly if they are treating the site like it's a dating service. They plan to book with Pros with a high(er) age gap than what they think a Pro would otherwise be comfortable with if they knew their real age so they lower it 5-20 years, maybe even upload photos which could be believable to that age but still look close enough to what they currently look like too. Yes, Pros agree to not discriminate based on age when they apply to become a Pro, but it still does happen occasionally and can be difficult to catch unless the Pro is blatantly says age is the reason they won't meet with them.
    • Pros will lie about their age if they too think they can get away with it, but for them it's for entirely different reasons. For Pros who lie about their age it's either a privacy matter should another site member attempt to stalk them it one less bit of correct info they have on them, a financial one as some Pros believe putting a lower age allows them to set a higher price for Clients who expect and are willing to pay more for a younger Pro, or because Clients searching for Pros want them in a specific age range and they fall just outside that range of filtered results. The last one mentioned is especially true when the Pro, who might be amazing at their job and have 100+ Karma reviews, but if they turn say 36 and because the filter for age is in increments of 5, they would stop showing in results for those filtered by age up to 35... though some Pros will knock 5-12 years off.
    • Anyone might lie about their age because they don't care to put the right one. They are on the site, might be just to check things out, talk with people, and then later decide to try booking a session not remembering they set their age to 30 when they're really 55.
  • teddybear888teddybear888

    Yeaahhh, I’m actually 84.

  • spn1976spn1976

    i thought about putting a different age paranoid about getting my identity stolen- but then realized just to make sure i dont put my correct birthdate but age i decided was okay. Exaggerating by 10 or 20 years is weird though. being off a year or 2 maybe done for privacy reasons

  • CuddleWhoCuddleWho

    What makes you think lying about age is specific to men? In my experience about 80% of women who say they are 28 or 29 are actually 30+.

  • stormydaycuddlestormydaycuddle Mod
    edited February 2023

    @netrunner DAAANNNMMM it. Didn't know the part about 36 taking you out of the search range. Shoulda lied. hahaha J/k I don't actually think younger cuddlers get more cuddles necessarily. If any mod wants to check my ID I'd be happy to show it. lol The 36 made me laugh. Missed the boat again.

  • Finnegan2017Finnegan2017

    When I was younger everyone said I looked older. Now that I'm older everyone says I look younger. I wonder when I actually looked my age?

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited February 2023

    I just had a member send me a DM who does not want me to tag him on this but he brought up something most of us never think about. Immigrant people may lie about their age because well, I will just post the message I received since he explained it so well:

    Actually in case of immigrant men the reason for lying can also lay in the fact that cuddling or paying to cuddle is still not a widely accepted cultural thing. And the count of immigrant AND non-caucasian ethnic group is so small here that there is a high chance of being identified/recognized.

    So 40 year old "Sam" doesnt want to be found out and hence is now 30 year old "Sam".

    PS: you wont believe how many immigrant looking men have blocked me after I stumbled on their profile after visiting a pro and seeing their reviews of her.

    PPS: I say immigrant men only because they're not caucasian nor native nor black. Yes I'm generalizing the identity but the context applies.

    I am not justifying lying, just pointing out extenuating circumstances that may be the reason for the deception. I didn’t think of this until he messaged me.

  • MissAdventurousMissAdventurous

    I think aging is a taboo thing in our culture in general. I wish people felt they could be themselves and not be rejected, but for whatever reason -- age is a common lie across many instances.

    I mean, besides age...I have had people straight up lie about everything and show up missing an arm or something along those lines. I am not the judgemental person in our culture, I think we all deserve that opportunity to belong, but the sting of rejection is something we all have been innately given in society and I feel for those that experience it.

    The concept that old is bad, that being different is wrong, is antiquated. Be YOU and the right cuddlers and people will find you, as you are, and that IS good enough.

  • MelancholyMelancholy

    Nothing wrong with people lying about their age unless they're lying about being over 18.
    Once you're in your 30s or 40s or 50s why should it even matter ?? It's not my business what exact age a woman is as long as she's well over 20. I had a pro tell me she was really 45 when her profile says she's 38. It didn't bother me one bit. She's still the same woman I just cuddled with.
    I think people need to stop being so uptight and cut these people some slack.
    There is so much age discrimination these days because people focus on a number instead of the actual person.

  • CharlieBearCharlieBear Mod
    edited February 2023

    I wouldn’t want to lie about my age. That seems way too stressful.

    Edit: Omg I originally said “would” by mistake. Anyone that read that, I’m sorry. I definitely do not want to lie about my age 🫠

  • CuddleWhoCuddleWho

    @Melancholy

    Nothing wrong with people lying about their age unless they're lying about being over 18.

    Welp, there's no opinion so bizarre that someone on the Internet won't come along and say it. Yes, lying is actually wrong. Good grief.

  • HoosCuddlingHoosCuddling

    It gets worse, @stormydaycuddle. I'm going to turn 50 next year. That moves me into whole new categories on this site, on dating apps, in a lot of places..... sigh.

  • SuperManCuddlesSuperManCuddles

    @cuddlezandhugz To me personally age does not matter. Many people I cuddled were much older than me, if not twice my age. I have only had a few people I their 20s tell me that I am old (despite a 10 to 15 year age difference) and reject me. It usually give me a good laugh. They will find out one day that I am still a young adult. I have cuddled ages 19 to 80s before but their people snarky/judge-mental about age. I am 36 now and refuse to lie. Either I match someone to cuddle or I don’t with truth in many areas!

  • tacpmurgtacpmurg
    edited February 2023

    Haha I see some pro's listed ages and then their pictures and laugh. I have no idea why people do it, maybe because they get more hits? I've never filtered by age but I can see that being a thing.

    But yea some of these people.. if you are in your 20's, im in my teens!!

  • stormydaycuddlestormydaycuddle Mod

    @WiserGuy3000 Don't worry I'd still cuddle you. Haha.
    I'm fine being a little old myself. My back isn't. Cracks like a glow stick. LOL.

  • SideonSideon

    In the gay world, I'm over 30 and hence dead and buried. I'm no Twink. Thank Thor's hammer. (This IS a self deprecating joke, in case you think I'm serious.)

    Here on CC, I own every year, and I can share a Sidilicious cuddle with whom there's a mutual consent and connection. (I'm quite serious.)

    I do look at age as a relatively minor issue with virtual strangers. It's not up to me how they identify or choose to portray themselves. If and when what they say and who they are don't align, then that's where I can make informed decisions to continue or shut it down. Translation: what they say and what they do should be aligned. (Yep, still 100% serious.)

    Trust isn't going to be built on a facade.

  • GreatHornedOwlGreatHornedOwl

    I'm an 81 year old man, and I could probably get away with listing my age as 65. There's a simple reason why might I want to do that. I the last 16 months, I have messaged every enthusiast in the Chicago area, who is within 60 miles, and who can host. That amounts to a lot of messages.

    In that time, I have received about 25 replies. More than half of them were "You're too old to cuddle" or "I prefer younger men" or something similar. Even women in their 60's seem to think I'm too old for them. Perhaps, I really should change my age to 65.

  • HugsWithChellesHugsWithChelles

    I feel most men lie because they feel insecure about it. Mostly when the lady they approach is a little older than they are, so for them not to looks less or for the lady not to look down on them, they tend to lie about their age. And most older men that lie about their age too might probably be because the person they are approaching might not want to agreed to or accept their request because of their age. Its a bad thing to lie about one's age actually but sometimes it depends on the reason or the situation of things. My thoughts tho

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited February 2023

    @GreatHornedOwl Good point. I do pass for 18 when I think about it in my most mind altered moments. I can convince myself of anything. You know the saying—with hard liquor and determination anything is possible.

  • RezzRezz

    I initially fudged my age when I signed up so I could be found in the most likely searched age filters.
    I said I was 34, no one ever questioned it and most seemed genuinely shocked when I told them I was 44 but didn't care either way.
    I have since changed my age and have found it hasn't made much of a difference if any to the number of inquiries I receive.

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