Sup.
U up?
Yo.
Hit me up
@bekah_cuddles I like how detailed your profile is! You even included an audio version, I’ve never see that before, such a great idea! :O ❤️
@EarthlyAngel003 Thank you! ☺️ I put a lot of effort into it with the hope that people will actually read it.
@BashfulLoner I'm going to agree with @GreatHornedOwl here about cause and effect. I strongly believe that if your messages lack effort, of course you're going to have a poor return on investment. I'll come right out and say that I don't usually respond to messages that just say, "Hello," or "How are you?" And if I do, I match their effort level with something short like, "Hey," or "I'm fine. You?" Or even, "Please read my profile and then message me." And that is usually the extent of the conversation. As you said, "I don’t try and formulate a better greeting for the next person. I assume that person is rude and not someone I want to know."
On the other hand, a well-thought-out message nearly always garners a response from me, and usually results in getting to meet me for real-life cuddles.
You might think it's rude not to respond to a message, but I think it's rude to send someone a minimal effort message without reading their profile and expect a response. If you're not putting the energy into that first message, that means you're expecting the person on the receiving end to put in that work for you. That's going to be a no from me.
Sometimes a DM referring to something from the forums you've said can be memorable! Or a joke/pun. Get me to audibly groan and want to log off is also a win.
Fair, it’s good to know . I offer no push back.
There are some great responses here, and I didn’t even read them all so I’m not sure how much value I can add, but having said that, I have a pretty robust profile and karma that frequently gets complimented on but like Duncan said on the first one the vast majority of my intros get ignored so don’t take it personally.
I hate it when the woman responds to a detailed, thoughtful intro with a shallow HI HOW ARE YOU and doesn’t even read my profile… And when I respond she comes back with another one sentence winner I can tell it’s going to be a drag experience and I just move on- she won’t be worth my energy.
I usually open with all the lyrics to we didn't start the fire by Billy Joel. I run them through Google translate into Japanese, then into Esperanto, then back into English. So the perfect first message is...
Harī torūman, dorisu Dei, reddo Chaina, jonī rei Sausu pashifikku, u~orutā u~incheru, jō dimajio jō makkāshī, richādo Nikuson, suchūdobēkā, terebi Kitachōsen, Kankoku, Maririn monrō rōzenbēzen'barku, rōzenbēzen'barku, tsurōmaezen'barku, tsurōezen'barei aizenhawā, wakuchin, Ingurando ni atrāshī joō ga tanjō marushiāno, riberāche, santayana, sayōnara watashitachi ga hi o tsuketa node wa arimasen zutto moete ita sekai wamawatterukato hi washitachitachi node washitachitachi node washitachitachi node washitachitachi node, node washitachi node, node washitachi, node washitachi, node washitaki kanpanera, Kyōsan-ken roi kōn, fuan peron, tosukanīni, dakuron dien bien fū no taki, rokku araundo za kurokku' Ainshutain, jēmusu dān, Burukkurin kurītān, de pībītān, pārīkītān, pārīkītān, pārīkītān, pārīkītān, pārīkītān dikutān, pārīkīudo, pārīkīudo, pārīkīudo, puretīn, dikutān, puretīn. , Furushichofu purinsesu gurēsu, peiton pureisu, Suezu no toraburu watashitachi ga hi o tsuk eta node wa arimasen zutto moete ita sekai wa mawatterukara watashitachi ga hi o tsuketa no de wa arimasen īe, watashitachiha soreni hi o tsukemasendeshitaga, watashitachiha soreto tatakaou toshita shima ritoru rokku . dame U 2, ri shōban, payora, Kenedi chekā po, saiko berughi hito watashitachi ga hi o tsuketa node wa arimasen zutto moete moete ita sekarauga watashitatter hi o tsuketa node wa arimasen ie, watashitachiha soreni hi o tsukemasendeshitaga, watashitachiha soreto tatakaou al hemiūshiūman, 'no shiushiūshi Berurin, Piggusuwan shinkō `Arabianororensu', Igirisu no bītorōga Gureāru misuuto, Igirisu no b ītorōga rōsūkō marukomu X, Igirisu no seijika no sekkusu JFK – attō sa remashita, hoka ni nani o iwanakereba n arimasen ka? shimashita hinin, hōchimin, richādo Nikuson ga futatabi mūnshotto, Uddosutokku, u~ōtāgēto, pankurokku hajimari, rēgan, kō teroesūukaisha, no terokūukaisha, no terokūukaisha, no Parish, rēgan. ``hoir
rokku araundo za kurokku' Ainshutain, jēmusu dān, Burukkurin kurītān, de pībītān, pārīkītān, pārīkītān, pārīkītān, pārīkītān, pārīkītān dikutān, pārīkīudo, pārīkīudo, pārīkīudo, puretīn, dikutān, puretīn. , Furushichofu purinsesu gurēsu, peiton pureisu, Suezu no toraburu watashitachi ga hi o tsuk eta node wa arimasen zutto moete ita sekai wa mawatterukara watashitachi ga hi o tsuketa no de wa arimasen īe, watashitachiha soreni hi o tsukemasendeshitaga, watashitachiha soreto tatakaou toshita shima ritoru rokku . dame U 2, ri shōban, payora, Kenedi chekā po, saiko berughi hito watashitachi ga hi o tsuketa node wa arimasen zutto moete moete ita sekarauga watashitatter hi o tsuketa node wa arimasen ie, watashitachiha soreni hi o tsukemasendeshitaga, watashitachiha soreto tatakaou al hemiūshiūman, 'no shiushiūshi
Just be yourself and be patient
@BashfulLoner
I would think that it’s rude for anyone to fail to respond.
This is how I was brought up and I think a lot of people my generation was brought up. You don't just ignore people.
However, in those days, it was a lot of effort to write to somebody. You had to find a paper, and an envelope, and a pen, and stamp, and then you had to go to the post box. In the internet age it takes 3 seconds and no effort, and that makes a difference.
The next problem is that because a reply takes no effort either, many messages get replied to with emotional lashings out. Many women don't reply to even a nice message with a polite 'no thank you' even if they'd like to, because they have done that and been subjected to a torrent of abuse. It's safer just to keep quiet.
So no, in the modern world and on the internet, it isn't rude not to reply to an opening message.
Right, back to the original question.
Nothing! Nothing works! (On a dating site the other day my first message was a specially composed poem, generally on the theme of how great her profile was. (3 haikus .... it wasn't as much effort as it sounds it just kinda came to me.) She looked at my profile, and didn't reply.)
Do not put excessive effort into an opening message, it isn't worth it. Read the profile, send a few sentences, move on to the next one.
What you should put effort into, and a vast number of men don't, is your profile picture in particular and your photo set in general. That makes far more difference than any opening message ever can.
I'll show you want I mean.
This photo actively repels women. No, I have no idea why.
This one does ok. Although some people get unaccountably angry that the dog isn't mine.
This one means I can, for the first time in my life, go on a first date whenever I like. Just get on the app and put a few hours in. It didn't particularly change the kind of women who swiped on me, but it significantly increased the number. It is the best photo taken of me since I was two.
If you really can't bear to have a public profile photo, then send it with your opening message.
Everybody you know has a camera with them all the time. As do you. If you acquire 50 photos of yourself you'll very, very likely end up with something better than the one you have now.
@CuddleDuncan please forgive this, but the first thing that runs through my head on all three photos is Benny Hill (yes, showing my age a bit).
But yeah, I have no idea either why the first photo would be a bad choice, as before you mentioned this, its comparable to the kind of photo I might post if I were single and dating.
@CuddleDuncan - I agree with you that your choice of profile picture is extremely important, but I'll take that thought one step further. The old adage that "A picture is worth a thousand words," couldn't be more true. You want your picture to tell a story. This means that before you select a picture, you need to decide what story you want it to tell. If you don't currently have a picture that tells your desired story, take one. Don't just put up any old photo.
The story that I want my picture to tell, is that "I may be old, but I'm far from decrepit."
@Jubal
but the first thing that runs through my head on all three photos is Benny Hill
🤣🤣🤣 That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me! I really did laugh out loud.
@GreatHornedOwl as usual, a most excellent point.
When I first started with dating apps, I thought that women were looking at our pictures the same way many men look at women’s profile pictures, to assess how physically attractive they are. I later came to know instead of your raw physical attraction, the vibe you give out- that is, are you a nerd, an entrepreneur, a go getter, adventurous, kind, these things are usually more important to convey than just how physically attractive you are. For cuddle comfort, I assume the same applies but there’s probably a bit more bias on how safe your pictures make you look since a lot of us on here have been through relationship trauma.
I’ve also found that opening message effort does not correlate with improved responses. As long as your messages are more substantial than a hey what’s up and you’re putting more emphasis on getting to know someome than meeting immediatley, I think that’s all you can do there.
It's the hair in picture #3 @CuddleDuncan . Makes a woman want to run her fingers through it I think. LOL!
@CuddleDuncan The first pic looks like dating, which is why it doesn't go over. The third pic shows your face very well and has good natural light. You look approachable in that pic. Also what @SweetPeajen said.
I'm inclined to agree with @sunnysideup on both points.
@SweetPeaJen - You're being 100%, totally unfair to those of us without enough hair for a woman to run her fingers through .
I agree with @achetocuddle and @sunnysideup has some very good info too. The first picture has a sleazy vibe somehow--like a lounge act. 😂😂😂 I can't really describe it. #3 you're just a regular guy enjoying the sunshine. ☀️
Hahaha!! There are lots of other wonderful qualities to people @GreatHornedOwl than just their hair! 😉😂😂😂
The ones that keep my attention are the ones who are funny, respectful, can hold a conversation, and obviously want to get to know each other as friends.
I like Lisa123's message structure and have used it a few times recently. No responses yet though, maybe it's just me that's the problem 😅😅
I'm very new here, but if their first contact says "hi, want to cuddle? " I'm very creeped out.
If their first contact says "hi, want to cuddle? " don't get creeped out. Just block them. They aren't any They probably send the exact same message to 20 women a day.body you would ever want to meet.
@EarthlyAngel003 ah thank you for mentioning the audio recordings from @bekah_cuddles profile. I had been meaning to do that ever since I saw that voice thread from a while back and now it’s finally done. That was actually kinda fun 😌
Don't be this guy:
May I inquire as to your bra size?>!
Which, while being very ew, is apparently not a bannable offense. I can't see it getting many positive results though. Maybe it's just me?
if their first contact says "hi, want to cuddle? " I'm very creeped out.
I'm not criticizing the person who posted this, as I see variations of it said fairly often on these threads. The homepage of the website says "How it Works ... You sign up for free in under 30 seconds. ... You search for the nearest cuddle buddy. ... You message them without having to explain – they get it." (I don't know how to post the image from the main page). The public FAQ page expands on this by saying "Send them a Message You send them a message but you won't need to worry about how to word it – they already get it. They're here for the same reason you are; to cuddle and nothing more".
The reality appears to be that one DOES have to explain when messaging a cuddler, as a simple direct message seems to to be off-putting to so many. So perhaps the site needs its instructions revised? Maybe "You message them to introduce yourself" or something like that?
@KaaGee yeah that is so inappropriate and is unacceptable behavior on their part. It would be so demeaning having to read that and it’s not fair that you would even be put into a position where it’s now on you to report them. Some people may have no problem helping take out the trash but others may find it extremely intimidating and scary to be the one to report that account.
@Charlie_Bear I reported that one with no hesitation, and then responded with this
Wtf makes you think this is a question you can ask anyone, ever, unless it's someone you're dating and planning on buying lingerie for? Check yourself
but the user is still on site. As a matter of fact, I see today that the user has now blocked me.