One of my goals for this year is to get better at spending time working on my space: decluttering, organizing, and so on. I'm a 39-year-old divorced dad with a house. I've had to move several times in the last few years, for random reasons like my coparent moving, twice (it's a long story), a ceiling beam cracking where I was renting, and a kitchen fire. I finally landed in this house, permanently, last year, and I've been working through my resistance to fully unpacking and settling in, and making homes for all the various objects I own that I want to keep.
I can imagine myself calmly devoting energy to this process, and not being anxious or resentful about it. I have the time (I am taking a break from having a traditional job, living off savings). I always imagined doing this homemaking for me and my kids together with a life partner, 50/50, but I hope any grief I carry about that isn't still holding me up—I mean, I've been divorced for six years, "made" several homes for me and the kids, and I almost had a new partner move in with me since then; I've been processing these feelings and in therapy, etc. I am fully capable of being a solo homemaker, and right after my divorce, I actually enjoyed it.
Does anybody here enjoy homemaking, or have good books, YouTube channels, etc about it? I guess I'm looking to connect with someone else's good attitude towards it, to rekindle mine. I find that when I'm around other people who are anxious, avoidant, or dismissive towards a particular thing like homemaking, I tend to absorb that energy, and when I'm around someone, or in touch with someone (which could be by reading their book), who is "plucky" and unflappable about it, and values rather than devalues it, that that rubs off in a good way. I have tried hiring a professional organizer, but it wasn't a good fit. I am on the lookout for friends where we could spend time keeping each other company while we do house stuff, and I've almost managed to set something like this up once or twice (like, we did it and it was good, but it didn't become a regular thing due to scheduling). I would pay the right person for this, and I think it is sort of pro-cuddler-adjacent because vibes and a feeling of support are really important. (I'm not specifically making a request, just saying!) (Also, I know not all pro cuddlers offer emotional support as part of their services, but many do. It's probably the same with professional organizing coaches, some are like, "it's all about emotions, why do you think people hoard?" and some are like, "talk to your therapist"!)
The 30-somethings I meet through going to events, making friends, and dating, seem to be focused on career/work/hustling, relationships, fun/activities/hobbies/travel, and sometimes health. Not homemaking. Lots of people are struggling financially or otherwise, and a pile of clutter in the corner of their studio apartment is the least of their worries. On YouTube, it's all about quick tips and life hacks. Also, people sometimes say that women never liked being homemakers (when that was their oppressive gender role), because it's a shitty and soul-sucking job. Nevertheless, I'd like to channel my inner "happy homemaker." I think it's an important part of life, and family—creating a home—that humans have been doing forever, and I'd like to enjoy it if possible.
I'm curious to hear other people's perspectives that are maybe less heavy. And maybe, despite my ambivalence, there are some inspirational bits in the above, as well.