When finding someone to cuddle, there is a natural tendency to make sure you are going to connect with them ... maybe having something in common like a hobby or favourite TV show, or maybe just talking for a while to see if you have similar interests, values, etc.
But it didn't work that way for the person who is now my favourite cuddler. She's a professional, so it's a little different to what happens with an "enthusiast". But nevertheless, we pretty much cuddled straight away (after she checked I was safe enough). And it was the quickest I've ever become close to someone in my whole life ... which was fantastic.
I guess it was the oxytocin telling me it was safe to let my guard down with her, combined with her sweet nature and openness. But I really surprised myself how affectionate I was being -- verbally and physically -- with someone I had known less than an hour. Cuddling was a very cool short cut to getting to know a stranger very quickly!
I've been reading through karma comments (a post on that coming soon), and one common thread I noticed was statements like "it felt like we'd known each other for years" or "it was as if we were old friends meeting again, rather than just for the first time". That's partly a skill some professionals have (putting people at ease), but I also think it's an effect of touch.
I realise it is important to feel safe with someone, and to get a feel for who they are and how they see a cuddling relationship ...
But can I encourage people to maybe just take the plunge sometimes and just cuddle? Even if you don't have a huge amount in common, you might find an instant bond anyway just through that experience of affectionate touch. It's an awesome way to begin a new friendship!