Other People's Opinions

JoyfulHeartJoyfulHeart
in General

"What another person thinks of you says more about that person than it does about you."

--Me

In our desire to be in community, we open our minds to hear the opinions of others. Sometimes those people's views are correct. When correct, they can reveal areas of growth potential, or they can celebrate who we are already.

When words are untrue, they can still sting, but we have the option to identify them as untrue, and refuse to let them take root.

When things are said in an unkind way, it can hurt, whether the words are true or not.

In every case, people's words reflect what they see. Vision is affected by internal attitude. People who harbor ugliness will see ugliness wherever they look, but people who walk in beauty will see the beauty in everything.

I once had a young friend look across a cafe table at me, and adoringly say, "You're wonderful."

I told her that I accepted the possibility she might be correct, and invited her to also consider the possibility that part of the beauty she saw in me was her own reflection.

Comments

  • SSRequiescenceSSRequiescence

    Beautifully said! You are wonderful, indeed :3

  • JoyfulHeartJoyfulHeart

    @SSRequiescence 😢🥰

    Thank you so much! The same thing I said to my friend applies to you. You are unforgettable!

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup

    @JoyfulHeart Well said. I largely agree but qthink that it’s sometimes hard to see the beauty in things in certain situations (you’re at war, behind held captive, etc). And traumatized people feel repulsion with certain neutral events through no fault of their own.

    People who think I’m awesome are awesome themselves, but I or they might be biased, lol. People who highlight the beauty in others most definitely are amazing people by default (as opposed to most people who seem to treat others as if they are not interesting by default).

  • JoyfulHeartJoyfulHeart

    @sunnysideup I agree that it's harder to see beauty when one is in the middle of trauma. I try to remember that when people come at me with negativity. While that negativity may not reflect on their character, it often reflects on their experience.

    In either case, it's about them more than it is about me. I try to accept any useful truth in what is being said without also accepting something poisonous.

  • TxTomTxTom
    edited March 2023

    @JoyfulHeart Yes, this is called projection, when others cast judgements upon you what is actually true about them. I never give anyone that power over me, hence, I'm not able to be offended, and am comfortable engaging in limited discussions in which we'll never agree.

    When you say their words sting, at that moment I'd recommend thinking of yourself as a mirror, and that they're actually looking at themselves in that mirror, and so you may take comfort in that the disparaging words are actually a self-critique of themselves.

  • JoyfulHeartJoyfulHeart

    @TxTom I agree

  • [Deleted User]SnugglesRus (deleted user)

    I agree. Good reflections and comments on this 💫

  • TNNativeTNNative

    I agree too. Wise words @JoyfulHeart. Also, @TxTom thank you for the suggestion of the mirror which could be useful in the future.

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