@LunaLike Thank you so much for the positive feedback. I hope that your find cuddle buddies here that are right for you. @Sideon I agree, the people that are shouting about never cuddling same sex or how Hetereo they are, statements are totally not necessary. Societies double standards, along with people’s pride/insecurities play major roles. I see cuddling as a way of developing deep friendships/bond regardless of gender.
@sideon @TallMuscleGrad I kind of chuckle at anyone who would come to a post on LGBT cuddling to announce that he never would. I’m not much interested in watching movies as I cuddle, but can’t see a reason to go to a post on movies and cuddling to announce that it is not my thing. @CreativeCuddles I will introduce myself to someone who interests me if their profile says they cuddle with everyone, but unless they are explicitly seeking gay (or bi) men, after a casual introduction I wait for them to make the first move. And wait, and wait, and....
Me personally I DO NOT under ANY circumstance discriminate. ALL is welcomed and encouraged to reach out to me. I cuddle women, men and Trans. I am open to all ages, genders, disabilities, races, ethnicities, size on down the totem pole.
Um, nice sentiment but a 5 yr old necro thread just to announce that ? Seriously ?
As a pansexual I feel open to cuddle with who ever. And so far it has been fine with me, in the end it really doesn't matter. Just enjoy each other and have the big huggsis
I have cuddled with many wonderful people from this and many other communities!🤗🎉
Honestly, I waffled on whether or not to identify my sexuality here. It's irrelevant to me in terms of platonic cuddling. But, I am open to cuddling everyone regardless of gender.
I ultimately defined it since I thought it may help a woman feel less intimidated to contact me if physical touch with a woman wasn't a foreign concept for me.
I guess the reason for my waffling is this - I've encountered women who automatically assume my being bi means they'll be a target for my affection or sexual pursuits. And it's insulting really. Is every hetero person driven to be sexual with everyone of the opposite gender? Is every gay person attracted to people of the same gender?
Absolutely only cuddle people who you feel comfortable with. There is no need to step outside of your boundaries to prove a point. I think it's great that cuddlers like @SuperManCuddles are open to all. I just think it's important to examine the "why" behind our viewpoints since it can teach us to examine things from a different lens. Not to change who you are but to give yourself the opportunity to look within.
I invited a trans woman I've been chatting with for a while on a dating site for a cuddle session last night. I told her about this community. She got out of an abusive relationship and has been single for a while now. She was open to the idea and seemed to want to do it, but cancelled last minute. I bet she was probably too nervous. Based on our conversations, It sounds like she just needs to be treated like a human being and not a fetish object, and could probably use a nice, quiet, platonic cuddle session. I don't exactly live in the most tolerant state for the LGBT community.
@MrAdmirer - that's an insightful comment about her possibly being scared of being seen as a "fetish object." That's wonderful you can create a safe space for her to be her soul, not her gender.
@Calibrate715 I also waffled on how out to be on here, but ultimately decided to go with my usual full-disclosure self
On the one hand, fetishizing bi women (especially polyam "unicorns" like myself) is annoyingly prevalent still no matter how platonic the setting. It's even worse for transwomen as mentioned above. But advocacy and visibility are big passions of mine that I dedicate a fair amount of time to, so it feels too inauthentic to stifle that part of myself again after more than a decade. Beyond that, I would hope that by me being visibly out and facing down bigotry where I can that I can do some small part to help others feel a bit safer.
I just wish more folks on this site did more than paid lip service to inclusivity and diversity It's honestly been a bit disheartening to see, but then it does make the few bright souls shine all the brighter
cuddlefaery in our city it is very diverse so we see plenty of cross connections.My wife this week has cuddled a lady a guy, a trans man and a couple.We cuddle human not the gender or lifestyle,there is no other agenda for us. We certainly learn more with the cross section of people which we feel has made us stronger human beings
@cuddlefaery Yes, I felt like not being transparent about it equated with me feeling shame about my sexuality. I don't feel shame and - while it's a part of me- it doesn't define my whole self.
It would be like telling a hetero male that they can only like football and beer because those are the gender "norms." Ridiculous to think that way but the objectification/fetishism of the LGBTQ is seen as ...more acceptable, in a way.
Even though I'm a het male, I'm gender-nonconforming (I wish I could put "Man, Gender-nonconforming" on my page but you can't on CC). When I run into issues it's usually with people who have a hard time keeping the expectations in the companion/friend realm. In general, the entire gender and preference spectrum has been the best place for me to seek enthusiast cuddles. Not just cishet.
I'm bisexual, but I don't think it has any influence on my experiences as a cuddler. Here it's irrelevant since the site is platonic. And even off this site, I platonically cuddle friends of all genders, sexualities, ages, etc.
Just playing a tiny bit of devil's advocate here - @bekah_cuddles , do you never talk about your personal life, dating experiences, identity experiences, teenage years, etc. while cuddling?
If you do talk about those, how do you avoid the topic of sexuality becoming relevant?
I can understand some folks choose to not talk personal life at all as a boundary. For me, that would be counter-intuitive because so many people seek platonic cuddling (especially with a pro) not just because of the need for touch, but also because of the need for interpersonal connections and skill building - and that trust and connection is difficult to build without getting personal to some degree. I just am careful with how I discuss more sensitive topics (i.e. sexuality, not act of sex itself; touch trauma and consent in general, and not specific occurances and violations in detail). I believe it is entirely possible to share some of oneself without oversharing, and that is what I strive to do.
@cuddlefaery I occasionally talk about those things during sessions if it gets brought up, but I usually try to steer the conversation in a different direction if it gets too personal, especially with new people. From my experience, the topic ends up being used as a way of gauging how far they think they can go with me and can turn into a slippery slope.
Because of the intimate nature of cuddling, it can be hard for some cuddlers to know where the line is. I don't mind so much if it gets mentioned casually in an in-person conversation. What worries me is that it gets brought up in the threads a lot like it's this crucial thing. When someone says they only want to cuddle young, straight, single, pretty women, I often wonder if they're on the right site.
I don't consider this a dating site, but perhaps that's because I'm a pro and that's not what I'm looking for. Maybe I'm out of the loop and enthusiasts do consider this a dating site, so gender, orientation, and relationship status are important things. I'm here to cuddle anyone as long as they're safe and respectful. People can have their preferences, but I'm always going to be wary of their intent here.
Oh I agree, people who are intending to push boundaries absolutely will try to use it as a gateway and many do treat finding cuddle partners with the same criteria they would romantic/sexual partners.
But I also think that sexuality, romantic orientation, gender identity, etc. (LGBTQIA+ isn't just about sexual attraction), for some people is a more vital part of their lived experience and sense of self than perhaps for others. To take a broad paintbrush and say "sexuality has no place in platonic cuddling" I think makes a bit too much of an overgeneralization and can be an equally slippery slope.
Very well said @cuddlefaery !!!!!!!!