How do you say that the door is open?

[Deleted User]1_teddybear (deleted user)
in General

So lets say you have noticed someone posting on the forums, and you checked out their profile and you like what you see. How do you indicate to them in a non-pushy way that: You are open to them saying hello? That reaching out carries no risk of rejection? Yes I know, just send them a message. But what I am asking is a bit more subtle than that.

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Comments

  • Mr_Cuddle_BearMr_Cuddle_Bear

    Why is there a need to be subtle?

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @1_teddybear Personally I would just send them a PM, myself - I do it all the time. However, if you're shy or you're wanting them to make the first move for whatever reason... My suggestion is to tag them in threads they've commented in, and respond to them positively, so you begin to develop a rapport. Honestly though, I highly recommend just PMing! Life is too short.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

  • [Deleted User]1_teddybear (deleted user)

    @SunsetSnuggles Thank you for answering in the spirit I was asking.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @1_teddybear My pleasure. :3 It breaks the ice and can build a sense of friendship so that a PM is much more likely to happen. Or, as the kids say, "They're more likely to slide into your DM's." bahaha

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

  • TxTomTxTom

    Just send a "hello."

    Where does all this timidity and walking on eggshells come from? (Not just this thread, I've noticed a lot of nervous, figurative "nail-biting" on other threads where normal human interaction is treated like some kind of landmine.)

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @TxTom A lot of people have social anxiety, or are shy, or are on the autism spectrum, or have any number of reasons for being nervous about "normal" human interaction. While it may seem silly to those who are confident, outgoing, or have thick skin, it can be a serious struggle and concern, for others. Personally, though people here often think I am an extrovert or outgoing, I struggle with social anxiety and my hands shake every single time I meet a cuddler over coffee. Just something I have to deal with and work through. We all have our stuff.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

  • [Deleted User]MrAdmirer (deleted user)

    Wow. I find it interesting that you are too shy to PM someone but would make a post to discuss in a forum setting. Not sure what the person you are interested in would think if they read this…

    Not trying to diss you but the mentality of your thinking just escapes me.

  • _marC_marC

    Thinking outside the box !😃

  • [Deleted User]1_teddybear (deleted user)

    @MrAdmirer actually, I have two objectives... first is to see if there is something I am yet unaware of for initiating a conversation, the second is to see if there are some subtle ways that women indicate that they would like someone to talk to them, even if they don't want to make the first move.

  • [Deleted User]MrAdmirer (deleted user)

    @1_teddybear you are way over thinking it, in my humble opinion.

  • CharlieBearCharlieBear Mod
    edited March 2023

    I would suggest reading their profile and asking them a question from it, or opening up conversation about shared interests. I assume the person is a fellow enthusiast, so I think you are right to want to be delicate in your messaging because it’s tough to get a response when the message is out of the blue. I would refrain from mentioning wanting to cuddle. Unlike pros, enthusiasts are not nearly as willing to cuddle a complete stranger from the internet.

  • [Deleted User]1_teddybear (deleted user)

    @Charlie_Bear Much appreciated

  • CentralFLCuddleCentralFLCuddle

    I checked out a few pro pages and they messaged me with an opener message. I really liked that idea so now I have my own short message that I send to just about everyone who visits my page. I recognize that not everyone will be comfortable saying hello first, so it eliminates that concern for both of us. And since it’s basically a copy-paste message, I don’t have to think about what I need to say for every person individually.

  • [Deleted User]1_teddybear (deleted user)

    @CentralFLCuddle Thank you, that is helpful

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    ChatGPT

  • [Deleted User]cvbn123 (deleted user)

    @Charlie_Bear YES!! When someone hops in my inbox and goes straight to “when are you free to cuddle” feels so presumptuous as an enthusiast. I do feel like profiles like mine are tough because I don’t have a lot in there so I may be unapproachable to some.

    On this subject, what makes an enthusiast’s profile more approachable? I’m not one to make the first contact and currently look as cuddly as a porcupine.

  • Cuddle_RNCuddle_RN

    @SunsetSnuggles, you're just the best ❤️

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @Cuddle_RN Oh my gosh, thank you! 🤗

    ...Wait, is that a subtle hint that I can PM you again? 😅 Inquiring minds want to know. Right, @1_teddybear?

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

  • [Deleted User]1_teddybear (deleted user)

    @cvbn123 You might want to consider what a guy would have to do or be to get your attention. If you make it so the only guys that can get your attention are the kind of guys that send a message to every woman, regardless of pictures or profile info, then think about what sort of guy that is.

  • mimtheplantmommimtheplantmom

    you’re on a public site where i’m sure most people expect to get messages, so sending a “hello” shouldn’t require subtlety and beating around the bush

  • [Deleted User]1_teddybear (deleted user)

    @mimtheplantmom as a practical matter, if I went to your page it doesn't say "Send a message" it says "Request to book". I would not even know how to send a "hello" to a pro.

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    As someone who is neurodivergent (ADHD) with social anxiety, who has worked extensively in work settings with others with similar diagnoses, I know the struggle.

    However subtlety is difficult to convey over text. There is no system of "likes" or similar built into CC as in other platforms that would function as the social middle ground... One of the many ways the site could improve it's accessibility. It similarly does not have a way to indicate if people are open to being contacted a la "ok to DM", "ask before DMing", "DMs closed" etc. other than just the option to pause our inboxes.

    Since subtlety can be difficult to read via text, if you're not comfortable just sending a hello to the person perhaps invite them in the forums to message you instead during a back and forth discussion.

    "I really like that point, PersonIWantToCuddle! Here's my counter point [text]. My DMs are open if you'd like to talk about it more 🙂"

  • [Deleted User]1_teddybear (deleted user)

    @cuddlefaery Thank you.

  • All_the_snuggsAll_the_snuggs

    @1_teddybear Now it's my turn to give a perspective to you lol. As a pro, I've reached out to fellow pro's that have stopped by my page that are in my area. Mostly just to build a little sense of community and to give heads up if someone gives off bad vibes, etc. I too was a little apprehensive at first since the only button to click to message was the request to book but it opens the same message window as the "send a message" link would on an enthusiast page. It doesn't automatically send a booking request or anything like that. I've received my share of just "hello" openers and have no problem with that being the ice breaker for me to take the lead with. I wholeheartedly agree with the other posts about reading profiles and picking something out of it to use as an opener. If someone doesn't respond, for whatever their reason might be, they probably aren't someone you would have an enriching snuggle session with anyways. The answer is always no if you don't ask. I hope that helps.

  • PinetownCloudPinetownCloud

    I'd say using openers works well, just say "hello" I'm stopping by cause "x" reason, request some more info on something they offer, compliment something on their profile like their writing style or one of their photos.

    I don't limit people I message, even if they're hundreds of miles from me I don't know that I won't be visiting their city sometime, plus it's just nice to have friends here

  • tacpmurgtacpmurg

    Considering how closey peolle watch their "viewed you" section.. just view their profile a few times over the week..

  • mimtheplantmommimtheplantmom

    lol oh ok i see, if you click request to book it still takes you to the messages and you would be able to talk to them. Which is great because (speaking for most pros i think) we like to get to know people a little before they book with us

  • mimtheplantmommimtheplantmom
    edited March 2023

    @cuddlefaery having “likes” would be awesome !

  • [Deleted User]Gaviota23 (deleted user)

    How to respond to someone that ask for a full body picture?

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited March 2023

    How to respond to someone that ask for a full body picture?

    Say of course and send them a picture of one of Queen Elizabeth’s last pictures standing up.

    I don’t think the Queen cares now.

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