Cultures where platonic physical affection is more common?

StructuredQueryLanguageStructuredQueryLanguage
in General

One thing I dislike about American culture specifically and probably also similar "Northern European" cultures is the taboo around platonic affection among adults. So many Americans understand platonic physical affection with children and animals, but they simply cannot comprehend it between adults, only viewing cuddling and hand-holding as something for romantic partners. The most platonically affectionate American adults can be towards other adults without being considered an eccentric I'd say is providing "hugs" as a greeting or farewell, and even that is still considered flirtatious in many cases.

The platonic affection taboo and associated massive "touch gap" in adult's lives is probably a big reason why professional cuddling is so successful in the USA with such a big and growing market ❤️❤️❤️❤️! And it's probably also a big reason why furry pets are so popular in the USA since they're one of the only acceptable areas of non-romantic physical affection for childless adults...

Anyway, what are some cultures that are not like American or similar "Northern European" cultures where platonic physical is in fact common and celebrated among adults? I've heard in Arab culture that two men can hold hands as friends when taking a walk, and I am a fan of these "kissing" greetings I've see in France as well? Is anyone familiar with cultures where platonic affection would be more common, and what's it like? Is it awesome like I think it'd be?

Comments

  • 1_teddybear1_teddybear

    I'd like to know that too.

  • ToebeanToebean

    I know that many of my clients are from India and the surrounding areas. It’s been lovely meeting and learning and getting to know more of these peoples and their culture :)

  • SariazSariaz

    I’d agree and even add an observation of mine (US): I love hugs and would enjoy more platonic touch in my life (shocker) yet I’ve noticed that while I have no problem hugging even strangers, with the culture they are often short enough that they feel like next to nothing in most cases. This could partly be because I’m too “in my head” as I’ve been told - so, for the first couple seconds I’m just trying to guage how close/tight of a hug they are going for (and making sure I’m not squashing faces of shorter friends).

    To your question, I have no experience or expertise, but I feel like I’ve heard people talk about spanish cultures being very physically affectionate.

  • Serena46Serena46

    Puertorricans and the vast majority of Latin Americans are very passionate, affectionate and expressiveness reflects in almost everything. Dances, festivals, the way family and friends are treated. We are not shy to share a good hug, and let the people we care about feel loved and care for. Hospitality and make people feel at home is big for us.

  • carrieannecarrieanne
    edited March 2023

    I’m sorry you have this experience in the US. What I’ve experienced:
    All over Europe it’s very normal for people to hug in greeting or leaving, cheek kissing, people walk arm in arm, men hug. It’s all natural and spontaneous.
    In S Korea and Japan young girls especially and some women hug and walk arm in arm and around shoulders. Even teenage guys might have arms across shoulders.

    I feel your view of Americans is limited?
    And to say platonic affection doesn’t exist here just isn’t true. There’s no Taboo,
    When around women, you’ll see lots of hugging between close friends and showing of emotions. Even cheek to cheek (air kissing).
    Men hug family and side hug friends. Clasp one arm during a handshake and make sincere eye contact*. Affectionate behavior can vary by region and ethnicity.
    *eye contact seems to be a problem now with younger people, eyes usually directed at phone. But making true eye contact shows confidence, trust, caring, and honesty with nothing to hide.
    Americans can be a little quieter or more reserved than southern Europeans maybe. I stayed with a families in Italy & Greece and never slept because of so much “yelling and fighting”!! But I finally learned that’s just how their voices sound! They were all happy and partying!
    Edited to say - You get what you give! Approach people with a smile and openness & sincerity in your eyes!

  • TxTomTxTom

    @carrieanne I agree, I don't see the taboo on platonic affection that SQL is referring to. I like your example of kissing cheeks. I have experienced differences in various cultures. I spent time in the Middle East where holding hands is a platonic sign of friendship between males. Just one example, anyway.

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972

    I can’t speak for all Arab countries but during the brief time I was in Saudi Arabia I saw men holding hands in public in a purely platonic way. There is even a picture of former President Bush holding hands with a Saudi Prince (or it might have been the Saudi King, I can’t remember for sure) at an event at the White House - it is just a gesture of friendship.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

  • carrieannecarrieanne

    @FunCartel 😂😂😂

  • MarkBPhxMarkBPhx
    edited March 2023

    @StructuredQueryLanguage, I appreciate your courage in sharing your thoughts and experience. I agree there is a taboo in American culture regarding platonic physical affection, especially between men. I agree with some of the other responders that it is going to vary based on what part of the country and what type of family you grew up in.
    I am usually more of a quiet observer in the forum threads because I overthink my response. However, your original post resonated with me and I wanted to let you know.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @Sariaz Totally relate now that I've joined the cuddle community...it's shone a spotlight on how insubstantial most hugs in our society typically are. I find myself far more aware of their length, especially, now that I'm used to having cuddle friends who hold on and just soak in the moment. The common greeting/parting hug is nothing like this, and I wish they were. Working on ways to ask for this without weirding people out. 😁

    @MarkBPhx 💯

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

  • Maverick07Maverick07

    @Serena46 I agree with you, being from Brazil. The, let's say, "requirements" of personal space are a lot less.
    In fact, this week I had a meeting with some of my European colleagues, and you normally exchange 2 kisses with them, one by each cheek. Well, out of habit I gave her a short, good hug to my German rep after the kissy-kissy greeting, and she said surprised (but not offended): Oh, "das ist" a strong hug 🤣

  • Tigerlilly32Tigerlilly32

    In my country it’s okay for same sex people to hold hands as friends, but opposite.. not really. Even married open affection is not really seen. Lol

  • GreatHornedOwlGreatHornedOwl
    edited March 2023

    @SunsetSnuggles - I completely understand what you're saying, and I recently learned a lesson about insubstantial hugs. After many months of sending messages to potential cuddle partners, and receiving little to no response, I was able to strike up a conversation, and we arranged to meet for lunch.

    At both our meeting and parting, I received some of the most substantial hugs that I had ever encountered. I regret to say that the hugs that I returned were very insubstantial, and were terminated as quickly as possible. Up until that day, I had never experienced a real hug in public. I was startled, and probably a little bit embarrassed.

    In between greeting and parting, I thought that lunch went very well. We had a delightful conversation, and I thought that things looked promising. I was surprised when in her next message she told me that she "didn't feel the same spark." At the time, I had no idea why, but in retrospect, I attribute that lack of a spark (at least partially) to my reluctance to return her hug in a way that she deserved.

    She taught me something very important that day, although it took many months for her lesson to sink in. I'm glad to say that I have since learned to greet and part with a real, substantial hug, public be damned.

  • 1_teddybear1_teddybear

    @GreatHornedOwl I have learned that one of the hardest conversations to have is a meta-convrsation. Talking about how you communicate.

  • INurturePeaceINurturePeace

    In Kenya it’s common for same-s3x members to hold hands.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited March 2023

    @Joisonthego I've seen that. It's interesting because at the same time there are also a lot of discriminatory practices against LGBTQ community in Kenya . So the fact that they wouid consider hand holding to not have any romantic connotations is interesting.

  • Tigerlilly32Tigerlilly32

    @Joisonthego yep, I’m West African .

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