Who can afford long sessions and what do they provide?

BriiyanBriiyan
in General

Firstly, I'm not looking to make any judgements. I am just curious what type of person can afford some of the longer sessions, like 8+ hours. I'm trying to make sure I don't break any rules.

Some of my curiosities:

  • What do long sessions provide that something like a two hour session does not?
  • Are you a repeat cuddler here?
  • What type of job do you have?
  • What's the longest session you've booked?
  • What's the most you've paid a Pro before?
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Comments

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited April 2023

    @Briiyan I have had an overnight with enthusiasts before but never a pro. I could afford to do an overnight but I can’t bring myself to pay someone for the hours they sleep because I would then become jealous of them because I would like to get paid to sleep. The most I have paid was 200/hr and it turned out to not be anymore special than an 80/hr session. If you visit my profile you will find that I am a serial cuddler.

    And I am in the Architecture and Design industry—but I am not an architect. Also, I allot a flat amount of money for this each month in large part because I am frugal but also because I will have a second kid heading into college.

  • alz480alz480

    When it comes to being able to afford long sessions the key for me is to determine when you want the session, and putting a little money to the side each week depending on how much it costs.

  • alz480alz480

    The truth is anyone can afford a long session, as long as you plan ahead and think it through. Its usually not something that is spur of the moment.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @alz480 is right. It is about planning but you should probably not do an overnight if you are just getting by.

  • KempistKempist

    I would never pay to sleep overnight. I did pay to cuddle for 8 hours once but it was afternoon into evening. Back then the rates were much less than they are now. We cuddled the whole time except for a break to eat. I would have done it again with her but she moved away shortly after that. I have not since found anyone who is worth paying to cuddle with for more than an hour and a half.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    My usual is 2-3 hours then I ask myself to leave.

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup

    There are some people that struggle to pay for a pro for a few hours, so an overnight might be out of the question for those folks. I also only did overnights with enthusiasts. I’d like to do an overnight with a professional but currently can’t justify the cost.

    There are some professional accounts that I see that heavily discount overnight sessions; the price was not much different than a longer session, but they are too far away from me.

    Longer sessions are not much different than a two hour session - perhaps a deeper hit of dopamine depending on the person. Worthwhile if you find a two hour session too short.
    I occasionally cuddle professionals and enthusiasts.
    I’m a traveling engineer.
    Longest professional session I’ve booked was 4 hrs. This particular cuddler had a discount that made 4 hours very worth it to me over a shorter session.
    I typically pay around $80/hr, and have never exceeded $100/hr.

  • alz480alz480

    funcartel is right unless you way way down the road I would not advise an overnight either.

  • alz480alz480

    I meant plan

  • GreatHornedOwlGreatHornedOwl

    @alz480 - It really is not true that "anyone can afford a long session, as long as you plan ahead. "Many people, for one reason or another, are so significantly in debt, that they shouldn't even consider ,any discretionary spending.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @alz480

    The truth is anyone can afford a long session, as long as you plan ahead

    When I started cuddling I would have had to save up for about two years for a long session. With no cuddles in the meantime of course.

    To this day the longest professional session I've had is two hours, and that is only because the professional kindly offers me a good rate. However, I have had long sessions and overnights with enthusiasts.

    Having thought about and discussed the matter with others, I would say this. If you have to think hard about the money for a long session, don't do it. They are like yachts: if you have to ask how much, you can't afford it.

    It's not that they aren't great - they are. It's just that if money is tight they aren't worth it because the extra benefit you get doesn't last very long.

    Money aside, the optimum length is 3-4 hours. You need a proper break after a cuddle of that length anyway.

    The truth is that an hour is perfectly adequate, and provides most of the benefit you're going to get. (There is a lot to be said for 90 minute sessions, and I wish they were more commonly offered explicitly.)

  • alz480alz480

    Fair enough I should have said only if its feasible

  • MonkeyNeedsAHugMonkeyNeedsAHug

    @CuddleDuncan,

    An hour is good for maintenance. But with a new cuddler, or if I haven’t cuddled in some time, it takes me quite a while to settle down. It’s less than optimal when the alarm sounds just as I’m getting to the place where my heart rate has slowed and my breathing is syncing up naturally with my cuddle bud.

  • panda619panda619

    I did 3 and we got thirsty and my back started hurting. Lol

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @panda619 Thirsty in the drinking sense or thirsty in the non-platonic sense?”

  • BriiyanBriiyan

    Thank you everyone. This is very interesting to me.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @MonkeyNeedsAHug I do agree that for a first session with a new person an hour isn't ideal.

    For your first ever professional cuddle, particularly if you are especially unsure, nervous or have difficulties around touch, it isn't long at all. In these cases I would suggest two hours if you can possibly afford it.

  • KnightTimeMagicKnightTimeMagic

    Sooo....question for the group? Is...Cuddling the Only activity???

    There's no body doubling? Playing card against humanity while bonding exchanging info dumps on topics no one cares about but you. I'm sorry, what are the conversations like? Do you not have conversations on how Terrifying a Xenomorph Velociraptor hybrid would be. I've listened to a 4hr info dump on the insanity that is the Kingdom Heart games timeline.

    @FunCartel as an insomniac...Sleep? Don't know her.

    I am Confusion....I am So confused 😕
    Are you saying you don't show up in cosplay and choreography a mock sword fight???? Qué???

    You don't bring comics and Mangas cuddle and read then Swap reading material and discuss what you like or didn't like about what you read?

    Does No One own a console? A handled

    I mean the whole point of cuddle therapy is fulfilling the aspect of Quality time as your love language (I am not saying you need to be in love with who you cuddle or spend time with)
    Like it's suppose to be a therapeutic release while giving you a safe space to process.

    Are you Really telling me you're Not ending a 4hr session with both parties writing letters in character, to exchange with the other person, saying how much you look forward to your next adventure. sealing them in wax and keeping them as keepsakes??? 🧐

    Are you saying after an over night adventure you didn't get a key to the T.A.R.D.I.S ?🧐

    Yea I'd be bored too, I wouldn't pay 8hr to sleep.


    I think, I'm in the wrong place.
    I am Too Neurospicy for this.

  • teddybear888teddybear888

    @KnightTimeMagic body doubling? There’ll be no cloning here, alien overlord. Don’t bring the neuro curry unless you bring the naan.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    @KnightTimeMagic Be careful with that pocket watch, you'll turn back into a Time Lord.

  • tacpmurgtacpmurg
    edited April 2023

    My average cuddle session with pros is 6h, thats the duration I most prefer. It is pretty standardized at this point.
    Anything less I feel rushed... the whole point for me is to learn about and enjoy the time im having with someone... I could cuddle with a body pillow if I just wanted to cuddle.

  • LadyVelLadyVel

    @KnightTimeMagic omg Yes! I love this. I've had friends that come over and body double and cuddle too.

  • KaaGeeKaaGee

    I never even knew until right now that body doubling was a thing, but I can tell you that it helps me to have someone around me. I'm more likely to get my laundry folded, do the dishes, or any number of things if someone is just there.
    I guess it's because I won't be lured into a silly game on my phone or computer.
    And now I have to go back to work and ponder my new- found knowledge....
    Thank you!

  • TheMidnightOwlTheMidnightOwl
    edited April 2023

    What do long sessions provide that something like a two hour session does not? (It helps with getting comfortable and building trust in one session versus many. And if it’s with a pro you usually get a per hour discount. And for some it’s like getting a whole meal versus an appetizer.)

    Are you a repeat cuddler here? (Yes.)

    What type of job do you have? (Grad student with only VA income. I do work for a practicum internship but am only earning course credit & experience, not income.)

    What's the longest session you've booked? (Not “booked” since I have never met with any pros, but several hours.)

    What's the most you've paid a Pro before? ($0. As a rule of thumb in life, I don’t pay for anything I can get for free.)

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    @KnightTimeMagic you and me both, you and me both (repetition absolutely necessary, with an imaginary head shake). Though when I saw you speaking my language I did such a little mental happy dance lol

    I take it you didn't get one of the lovely warning messages yesterday? 🙄 Us neurospicies are most definitely not currently welcome here. I'll just point towards my rants in the pro forum rather than repeat myself and take this thread off topic.

  • pmvinespmvines

    For me , long cuddles provide opportunities to learn what each other's farts smell like, who snores the loudest, how often the person has to pee, and to what extent does fatigue and hunger play when it comes to mood and tolerance for annoyance.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I have to really know the person to do an overnight. The paranoid part of my brain won’t let me relax with a stranger in my space while sleeping.

  • frankparker9frankparker9

    @KnightTimeMagic re: "whole point of cuddle therapy is fulfilling the aspect of Quality time" — Love languages as a concept allow us to recognize that touch and quality time are different needs—someone who needs touch may not be craving quality time, and vice versa. And not everyone shares the same interests.

    The use of professional cuddlers as a "rent-a-friend" will be fine with some pro cuddlers, and not others, in my experience (even if the client can afford it). If you ask pro cuddlers about doing random activities with you for companionship, some will say a version of, "I'd be more comfortable spending our time cuddling, because that's the service I'm offering." You would generally not pay a massage therapist or a psychotherapist to be your body double, even at their normal rate, or to go mini golfing or something. People go into a profession because they are passionate about it, good at it, have experience and training, and so on, and they want to apply those things in their work. That said, other pros are closer to enthusiasts who want to be compensated for their time, or they focus more on the emotional connection than the cuddling, and will be happy to do a wide range of platonic activities with you.

    I find that 2-hour sessions are a good length. I have only done overnights with enthusiasts, but I could imagine doing an overnight with a really great pro. I'm a software engineer/entrepreneur, and I've done very well financially. A lot of my friends have little money and would not be able to afford an overnight, or maybe any professional cuddling. It's good to be aware of how vastly different people's financial situations are. For example, a $40 ticket price for a Cuddle Party will exclude some people if you don't offer a sliding scale or work trade.

  • [Deleted User]Mman (deleted user)

    For me after any more than 3 hours it just becomes sleep.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @frankparker9 That was explained very well. Cuddling is not just unidirectional—it can go in several different directions depending on the cuddlers. Out of the dozens of pros I have cuddled, I would only call two of them friends. I really have no interest or expectation of friendship when I book a pro. I just want to relax, maybe chit-chat, etc. As far as pros go, the more they talk about how much they know the less chance I will book them because they come off as making everything about them. I love hearing about my cuddle partners whether they are pro or an enthusiast, but not in advance and definitely not in the didactic sense.

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