It seems to me the potential advantage of encouraging 'cuddle-culture' is that more people will feel natural and comfortable with expressions of warmth, human touch, caring, that do not imply sexual or romantic interest. It would be nice if there was more space for close interaction where anxieties or tension about potential sex/romance didn't get in the way.
Assumptions/hopes/reservations about personal acceptance/rejection, or about romantic/sexual possibilities, can be so awkward. It'd be nice to find ways to reduce awkwardness. It'd be nice if we could read less into situations, have less loading of interaction with personal baggage, judgment, or agendas. A known option of "platonic cuddle" can be a space for letting go and relaxing. Sometimes it's very comforting knowing that an interaction is professional, there is a sense that yes, this person should have some experience and be comfortable with lots of different kinds of people, that's why they offer the service.
My partner was very much out of my league. Ultimately the relationship hasn't worked out because of his communication issues but as long as there's a good connection there romance is always a possibility. Of course, I'm not on this website for romance though, or I'd be on a dating website.
I'm a sapiosexual so to me someone who is able to hold an intelligent conversation is more important than looks. As for affection. Whether I am on the clock or not if a client is in need I am there if I'm able. I had a client who was sober going through a rough time and was on the verge of drinking. So I told him to go to store buy cranberry juice and sprite and I would order the same we talked and drank and later he thanked me for being there. When noone else was. Affection can be shown in so many ways. More people need to get back in tune with each other. Good looks fade over time real beauty is found in the personality and soul of a person.
Remember ... Julia Roberts married Lyle Lovett back in the day and Dan Akroyd Married Donna Dixon (from the show Bosom Buddies)
Chin up, @Dreambuddy!
It's what's on the INSIDE that counts!
That's why people in the US blow 8 billion a year on cosmetic surgery. <---real stat.
Seriously tho - one doesn't have to be 'good-looking' to be appealing and attractive.
@Dream-Buddy.. Im assuming the " go get an arranged wife" was due to my percieved ethnic background?
Yes I am of Middle Eastern descent. But I'm third generation. I have virtually no connection to my grandads country of origin ( Syria/Lebanon).
I cant even speak Arabic properly to begin with, and I am irreligious as well.
Also I am completely against arranged marriage. I dont believe there is any validation in it.
Relationships are about being with another person whom you have made attracted to you and want to be with you. Not someone whom your family or Sheikh/Rabbi/Pastor set you up with.
@Mohamad a few points you may find helpful -women are usually way less looks oriented than men are. how many times have you seen good looking women with ugly boyfriends. Enough said. Men can often date well above their level on looks. -women often expect men to make the first move, so your comment about no signal of interest is perhaps your issue, you are not trying to make the first move -maybe you are setting your standards too high? sure, there are ugly men, but there are ugly women too. Maybe you need to lower your standards, or be more realistic? -dont be afraid to use money (if you have it) to get ahead on meeting women. People are doing it here with paid cuddling. Their are other options outside of cuddling, such as sugar daddy sites etc, that can produce great results. -actaully the arranged marriage suggestion is a good one, i guess that is another option open for getting ahead on meeting women in certain cultures, although not in mine.
@alexb2
Good suggestions. Let me know on any sites. I am very unattractive and know it. ):
There are lots of women in the same boat. Most people date others who are approximately a similar level of attractiveness to them - so there is a lid for every pot. I think a lot of people are only interested in people who are in the top 10% of attractiveness, but don't realise they are not in that top 10% - so they get disappointed when they always get rejected by those people. Another thing to consider is that it may not be your appearance that is putting people off. It could be something about your attitude, personality or character that needs to be addressed.
I would also suggest trying alternative methods for meeting people other than online dating, as online dating tends to emphasise appearances first. I've also fallen in love with people who weren't conventionally attractive, so it does happen. Consider a local singles group in your area, or going to some meet up events.
Finally, remember this is not a dating site - it's a website for platonic cuddling and non-sexual friendship. If you meet up with women from this site, they will most likely approach you as a friend only.
"I'm wondering how many men here have below average looks and are prevented by said looks from experiencing love from a woman. I ask because I am in this situation. My ugly looks have prevented me from ever being in a relationship ( except once) and due to my looks no women ever gives me a signal of interest."
While it's true this is a cuddling forum, this question seems to be general and just looking for some useful feedback for a personal issue.
@ Mohamad: May I ask a question? Is the purpose to find others who have the same experience as you, or do you really want to change your situation, or at least learn how to change your result?
If I recall correctly, most survey's that report the most important qualities that attract a woman (from the viewpoint of a male looking for a woman partner), one of the top on the list is self-confidence. The assumption that all women have rejected you due to your looks may not be telling the whole story. I won't say that I know for sure the answer, but if one of the the number one qualities that attracts a partner is self- worth/confidence, then I'd say you may be going in the wrong direction just by asking the question and making the supportive statement that you did.
I'd ask instead: How many of you have overcome [this issue] despite [this challenge] and how did you do it?
To answer your question, the readers may be inclined to make statements that correct your thinking, and for good reason, as that may be the bigger hurdle to getting what you want, not just in a relationship, but in anything in life.
Im just trying to get others to share similar experiences.
And id consider myself fairly confident as evidenced by a bunch of one night stands ive had, which would not be possible if i was a shy introvert.
Maybe you aren't forming relationships because of the one night stands...when you focus on sex instead of a foundation to a relationship that's all you get.
I’ve never considered myself physically attractive. I went through a long stretch where I seemed to have no issues meeting women and getting them to go on dates with me but I never ended up in a committed relationship. I don’t think this was due to me not being physically attractive, I think it had much more to do with the over all package I had to offer at that time. I eventually met my now wife who is far more physically attractive than I am and we have been married 18 years now. I am not you and don’t know your full story but I’m my situation, the more I had to offer over all, the less looks seemed to matter.
@Morpheus on thing that you said in a different thread is how you wake up 30 min early every morning to cuddle with your wife.
The ultimate show of respect.
Showing respect for a lady will win her heart almost every time over physical attributes.