Newbie here
I’m wondering this as well. As a man I can see how it might take some time to build trust with a woman that you’re not a perv and really just want the warmth and comfort of holding or cuddling someone. But then again I feel like things can be less awkward if you’re just direct about it. I’m not sure how to build trust beforehand. Maybe hanging out together for a while before actually cuddling.
@notgabby it wasn't, no. Not at all. But my first cuddle was with an experienced and expert professional, so that's no surprise.
My first enthusiast cuddle wasn't awkward either. I'd met two professionals, one of them several times, by that stage, and I'd been to a cuddle workshop. And again, the person was quite experienced so everything was very smooth and relaxed.
I have since cuddled with people when it was their first cuddle, both professional and enthusiast. In some cases they were feeling a little anxious or awkward but we always got past it very easily.
It does take time to build trust and this is achieved in two different ways. The first is just in general getting-to-know-you, which can take place in chat, video or phone calls, or meeting in public without cuddling. The details depend entirely on the people involved. This is not intrinsically different from getting to know people in any other circumstance, except that the conversation is more likely to be focussed on matters relating to touch and cuddling. In my experience the conversation proceeds to personal matters more more quickly and easily than in most circumstances, because you both know the other person needs a hug too.
Phase two is the progression from acquintances to cuddlers. This is the part that most of us are unfamiliar with but it's not fundamentally different from any other activity.
For example, if you are both players in a squash ladder, you may exchange a few texts or brief calls, meet in reception, go to the changing room and take most if not all of your clothes off in front of each other, put on special clothes and go to a special room to be alone together doing your thing. Afterwards you take a shower together then shake hands and never see each other again, at least until next year.
A common system is to start by talking about anything specific that should be talked about. "Please don't touch my hair but I love having my back scratched." Then you progress to simple exercises. For example; hand-holding, eye-gazing, sitting touching knees or touching shoulders, standing social hug, standing close hug, sitting hug, sitting hug with legs involved somehow, full scale cuddling.
But I've said to people, "Would you like to hold hands?" and they have said, "Can we not just go and cuddle on the bed?" It's entirely up to you.
The secret is to be open, honest and straightforward, and to value those qualities in the other person.
@PaulMicheal
I just had my first cuddle session with an enthusiast yesterday. I felt at first like I would be awkward and I wouldn't really know what to do, but the other person quickly made me feel at ease. Before I knew it, we were just relaxing, spooning, taking turns laying our heads in each other's shoulders, and talking about some deep, personal subjects like we'd already known each other for a long time.
The whole point of cuddling is to be comfortable and share the calming, caring vibes together. It's natural to be nervous about your first time meeting a stranger from the internet and doing something so 'weird', but hopefully you'll quickly discover that there's really nothing to be afraid of.
My advice if you're new to the site is to seek out a cuddler that has a bit of experience already. If a person has a few friends and/or positive karma comments on their profile, you know they're likely to be good at making somebody feel at ease, even if they might be nervous. And then during the session, there should really be nothing to worry about. Just make sure you communicate with the other person about what you both want to get out of the cuddle session, and then let it flow naturally. A good cuddler will wash your initial feeling of awkwardness away easily.
@Gentle_Winds She sounds really nice I've spoken to Titania once via message and I think she could really help me when i'm sad. I don't know if she can come over to Belgium or if she wants to but if she does that would make not only me happy but my friend kiyo happy. I miss the kind of care and empathy that my grandmother used to give. I think that the Netherlands has a sense of compassion and humanity that the Belgians lack, since the dutch are better at fun while their neighbours to the south are better at offing themselves (and persecuting those they catch in the act and making their residual lives an even bigger misery) Shout out to Ton for being the best guy ever