Getting ghosted on here, anybody else?

Davidson2000Davidson2000
in General

I couldn't believe it until it actually happened. I am a respectful person and quite professional when it comes to booking. I have never been rude or anything - but still, I have been ghosted mutliple times by pro cuddles before even booking.

I thought maybe it was my looks, but I dont think so. In my experienxe, after asking these cuddlers why they havent respond, they generally become rude and victimized, when i havent done nothing. Has anybody else experienced this or something similar?

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Comments

  • TxTomTxTom

    After your 10th ghosting you get a framable certificate.

  • SoosonSooson

    @TxTom that will take about 10 booking attempts to accomplish :)

  • 4bearhugs4bearhugs

    Welcome to the club! "Pros" are just as likely to ghost as enthusiasts. But I think there is a difference between not carrying on a conversation and ghosting. Ghosting, I think, is more when you set up an appointment, agree on a time, drive an hour to meet someone, text with them on the way, and ten minutes after your last text confirming everything, they don't show up or ever respond to a text or message again. This has happened to me 3x by "Pros" and once by an enthusiast. (With only slightly varying details in each case.)

  • Mike403Mike403

    Ghosts are scary.

  • TxTomTxTom
    edited May 2023

    .

  • [Deleted User]MrAdmirer (deleted user)

    I think the problem is maybe you text too much? When I reach out to a pro it’s to book. I’ll send one text to ask any questions and then just book.

    I don’t reach out again, even on the day of the appointment until they do. And I’ve never been blown off.

    I treat booking a cuddle session like the dentist or doctor. Set up the time and leave it at that.

  • RezzRezz

    You have a blank profile and no picture.
    Increase your chances of a response by adding at minimum a generic photo and a few lines about yourself and why you're here.

    You weren't ghosted, you just didn't receive a reply. Many of us have jobs, lives, families, hobbies outside of the site and don't monitor this site or our emails 24/7. If you're not getting a response in the timeframe you have internally set, then move on to the next pro.

  • CuddleWhoCuddleWho

    @Davidson2000

    ghosted ... after asking these cuddlers why they havent respond, they generally become rude and victimized

    So they ghosted you... and then they're conversing with you. Consider the possibility that you are very confused about what is going on.

  • pmvinespmvines

    Is it that you're being ghosted, or is it that you are expecting immediate responses and then getting agitated with them when they don't respond right away ?

  • MissAdventurousMissAdventurous

    We live in a day and age of instant gratification. Don't expect a response right away - ever and you'll feel much better when you don't get a response right away or at all.

    Ghosting is when you actually have a built conversation/relationship with someone and then they up and disappear.

    They don't respond, or they don't care to keep up the conversation in the beginning? Move on. Plenty of people out there if you need that.

    As an example: i hope no one assumes I'm going to binge through this many messages authentically in one day, which I try to always make my responses authentic. I am not ignoring, I am not "ghosting" I just am not a robot nor am I going to treat my time in ways that may not be the best for what I'm dealing with on my day to day.

    I do try to leave a pleasant updated note at top of profile so others don't assume for the worst, but not everyone is going to be me. And not everyone is going to be you, so save room for others and their time needs if you want their time.

  • AmortentiaAmortentia

    Hi! As a pro I wanted to give you an idea why that may be so.

    A lot of females are in general worried about brand new profiles. You have been here for over a year BUT you have no pictures and only ONE karma. That isn't much for us to work with. I have dealt with worse basically with no pictures and no karma BUT believe me it is rare for me to do that and I was very nervous accepting the cuddle at all and some people just avoid such profiles in general for safety reasons.

    I just recommend to add some pictures and whatever cuddle sessions you do get please ask them to leave you karma. We will feel more comfortable booking with you then.

    Hope it works out for you and that you will find some great cuddlers!

  • OhioMikeOhioMike
    edited May 2023

    @MissAdventurous thanks for sharing your profile with 98 unread messages with us and …

  • MissAdventurousMissAdventurous

    This is only 2-3 days worth of messages.

    @OhioMike always in this: I do welcome conversations!! I especially welcome chats with others who dont make me feel pressured into things. There are people on this site whom I've known for years and never met - but we've chatted and formed a bond and that's the important part. 😊💓 And those I'm hoping to meet soon (ahem.. @OhioMike lmfao 😂)

    Bottom line: Making me feel a certain way when I dont drop everything to respond? 🧐

    That's a big NOPE from me. 💯

  • OhioMikeOhioMike

    @MissAdventurous like 50 of those messages in the past few days are from me ...so that still leaves a lot ! 😆

  • cudbud64cudbud64
    edited May 2023

    @MissAdventurous

    I could never... which is probably why messages get buried behind others 😬.

  • Davidson2000Davidson2000

    I do not expect immediate replies. I expect professionalism from pros. And that does not include being left on read for a multiple days when in the beginning of a booking proposal. For example, a gentleman above stated to just send the booking and leave it at that, I don't even get to the booking phase. These pro cuddlers are ghosting me before I get the chance. Granted, this doesn't happen a whole lot but it happens more often than not. As for my profile, I had a picture but removed it a couple days ago.

    As for what message I send, it usually goes like: "Hello, i'm interested in booking something on X day. I would like X hours, are you available? Here's a photo of me:" They usually reply, say yes or if no, they'd recommend another time. I agree and send the booking, then bam i'm ghosted. Sometime I send the booking anyways to see if they'd accept, but they don't. In fact, I see them online but they ignore my booking request. I think this behavior is highly unprofessional and it happens to me often. I thought maybe i'm doing something wrong, but these 'pros' are just ignoring me.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited May 2023

    .

  • CharlieBearCharlieBear Mod

    @MissAdventurous
    LOL I think I have seen my message notification badge MAYBE hit 3 once. Maybe 😅

  • w8ed_blanketw8ed_blanket

    Agreeing with the comments by @Rezz , @pmvines , @MissAdventurous, and @Amortentia.

    I've had to block potential clients because:

    • I mentioned my steps to book, but a person kept pushing my boundaries and wanted to circumvent my process.
    • I listed the days I would be be unavailable on my profile. A person kept messaging me if I was still interested every day, (during the days I said I was away) and fishing for free emotional labor and immediate responses.

    I have a life outside of this site. I do it because I enjoy it and want to cuddle with folks and clients who are respectful, understand boundaries, and do not have a sense of entitlement. If I feel unsafe or feel something is "off," that is immediate grounds for me to leave.

  • AmortentiaAmortentia

    Since I read some more now....

    Never ever ever just propose a time without talking to a pro first. We have other cuddlers and a life outside of this so it will always back fire for the most part. Every time I see just a message that asks me to accept a proposal with nothing else then I ignore it completely and leave the message or I ignore just the proposal but start a convo to cover important things like where they want to cuddle, how they plan to pay, etc. So I will never accept a proposal without discussing all that first and agreeing on a time together. Otherwise they come off as pushy and inconsiderate. So definitely another thing not to do especially with a pro. And as with anyone at all, they don't need to agree to a cuddle or even message back. There are other cuddlers out there so if it doesn't work with someone then it is ok.

  • taco_libretaco_libre

    it’s 2023, the year of the narcissist

  • RezzRezz

    @Davidson2000

    being left on read for a multiple days

    You don't know if your message is read. We don't have the option to see if messages are read
    Shining example of why I never take these complaints here seriously. People love to embellish the truth or leave out important details completely.

  • StructuredQueryLanguageStructuredQueryLanguage

    So ideally professional cuddling one day could be a fully formalized on-demand service like seeing a dentist, though I think this would require some kind of safe third-party location like a formally-monitored office perhaps.

    So long as people are inviting strangers into their homes or they're visiting strangers' homes, things will have to be subjective and involve personal relationships, which may include getting ghosted if folks are uncomfortable for whatever reason.

    @Davidson2000 in your case, though, I'm thinking it may just be bad luck and that the problem is many cuddlers are not super active on the site in your area maybe?

  • Taco_WeekdayTaco_Weekday

    I have a couple of easily digestible paragraphs in my profile, and photos readily available upon request. Also, I always send a message with an introduction before my initial request. With that being said, I approach every request with the same mindset I have on life: Put forth an honest effort, but never expect anything I haven't earned.

  • BuffaloBuddyBuffaloBuddy

    I don't take anything on this site (or others) personally.....I don't need the negativity.

    Like many, I am not glued to my devices 24/7....if meant to be we will connect with eventually.

    Day1:
    Them: interested in meeting?
    Day3:
    Them: guess I am not your type
    Day4:
    Me: sorry, I was out of town and not online every day
    Day4:
    Them: well I think 2 days would be time enough

    Unable to reply as I was blocked.
    I never block, but do stop responding to no-win conversations.

    PS. I do note that in situations like this, these users often disappear from the site.

  • MajesticMangoMajesticMango

    I remember when I use to cry when someone would ghost me the day of a session😂

    Ohhhhh the good ole days 😂

  • [Deleted User]MrAdmirer (deleted user)

    @Rezz

    When I first joined this site and started reading these lovely forums I used to think that some of your replies were a bit harsh. I now know better. You are always spot on. 😂

  • Rachel_PRachel_P

    @BuffaloBuddy What you just described happens more often that I care to discuss. I have a number I give out to set up details after a potential cuddler and I have set an appointment. This is not my personal phone number for obvious reasons. It’s technically a work number, which I use for business and cuddling falls under that umbrella.

    The amount of times people will ask a question and when they don’t get an answer immediately reply with, “well, I’ll take that as a no. Have a nice life…” or some similar sentiment is unsettling. It just happened this morning, actually because I had yet to respond to a message from last night that was not time sensitive. This is similar to when you don’t respond within several minutes and someone will then send the very pushy/passive aggressive question marks:“????” It’s the assumption that you do not have any other commitments…work, family, sleep, meals, etc…that absolutely chaps my hind end. I often put it to folks like this: how would you like it if you had paid for a cuddle session, and I stopped to answer text messages or messaging from the site? It’s the audacity for me, Bob…that’ll be a no.

    While I do feel that what @Davidson2000 is experiencing is simply a run of bad luck, or perhaps has had the unfortunate experience of contacting a couple flakes in short order, it’s incredibly true that there is a certain type of person who treats professional contact like they are talking to a friend. Folks who—whether they know it or not—are looking for free emotional labor, and will attempt to gain it via excessive messaging that goes nowhere. Essentially chitchatting without any solid intention of actually booking. The time one spends interacting with someone selling a service that never goes anywhere ultimately adds up over time. Pros already do quite a bit of administrative work setting up bookings that never go anywhere.

    I’ve perused the entire thread, and everything that the OP has described seems like proper booking etiquette. I do also want to point out that CC does not have an app. When I first got on the site, I was bombarded with messages as newer women on the site often are. I quickly realized that logging in and checking for daily messages would be something I needed to do daily if I wanted to make the most out of this endeavor and not miss out on quality bookings. Logging in every day and interacting with the site regularly actually drives more traffic to you profile, so win/win. However, I understand that for many people, this is a strictly a side hustle and they probably have 9 to 5 jobs. Just things to consider for anyone reading this…if someone doesn’t respond right away, it’s most likely not a personal attack. They could very well be in the middle of something.

  • [Deleted User]CharlesInWI (deleted user)
    edited May 2023

    It’s been explained, but never changed, ad nauseam at this point: The “Request to Book” button on professional’s tabs is very clear. It also happens to be wrong.

    It would go a LONG way if it said, “Ask this professional when they are available. And, be sure to read their profile!”

    But, alas.

  • WestsideMarcWestsideMarc

    How are you defining ghosting exactly? Are you talking about multiple back-and-forth messages or not being responded to at all???

    If you message someone and they don’t respond that’s not ghosted. (90% of my intro messages go ignored, and I have 7 great 5 star karma reviews! I’ve learned not to take it personally).

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