I might be incorrect, but I seem to recall when I muted my account for a while that other people would tell me I didn't show up when visiting their profiles.
@AllAboutSoul by that same token, we have what seems like a majority of (perspective) clients who believe that them sending a pro a message initiates a professional relationship with obligation for response.
If clients are going to require that we respond to EVERY message (no matter how banal) in a pleasant and obliging manner (heaven forbid we be too blunt or concise), on their time frame (not ours), and not block them without a detailed explanation that caters to their fragile egos (even if they broke TOS 5 different ways), is it really too much to ask that we be able to solicit them daily, every hour even, so we can scam them? (I do hope everyone reads this with the full weight of eyerolling on both sides as intended)
There are bad actors in enthusiasts, clients, and pros... Site features are just tools and are going to be used for good or ill depending upon the people using them. Those pros that do abuse it need to be reported for breaking their contract - one shouldn't assume all pros are going to abuse the feature or that it's only useful to pros, as evidence points otherwise from comments in this thread. We need not throw out a useful feature because of sweeping generalizations made about a minority of users. If we were going to do that, then we might as well throw out messaging, because it seems like there's too many clients and enthusiasts abusing each other and pros through the system 🤣
@cuddlefaery my point is that viewing profiles is just window shopping. I didn't mention throwing away any site features.
@Charlie_Bear
But Facebook/Instagram/TikTok/etc are not specifically designed to help people connect to cuddle platonically.
Why would the cuddle aspect change anything? You don't need to see visitors if you're connecting for friendship and general networking (Facebook); if you're connecting to share photos (Instagram); if you're connecting to share short videos (TikTok); if you're connecting to date (Tinder, OkCupid, Bumble; forgot to mention these before)... But if you're connecting to cuddle you do need to see visitors??? Why? What's the difference?
I imagine it’s a feature designed to provide more safety to the members here, so someone wanting it removed makes me question why they are here.
How does this provide safety? Almost no other site or app does this. Why would it be a safety issue here and not for Tinder, Bumble, or OkCupid?
@cuddlefaery
But then when FB opened to the general public and to advertising, and then especially when it opened to minors, they removed the feature because actual stalking became notoriously rampant. There were several high profile cases and that was the end of that. The other social media sites followed suit.
Do you have any link or source discussing this? I have to be honest, I'm a little skeptical. I never heard anything about this, I can't find anything about it online, and it doesn't seem to make a lot of sense. While I don't think this Visitors feature is significant for safety one way or the other, if there was some safety impact surely it would go the other way, right? If you had a legitimate concern about stalkers, wouldn't you want to be able to see who's looking at your profile? I'm open to the possibility that what you're describing happened; it just seems odd to me.
we have what seems like a majority of (perspective) clients who believe that them sending a pro a message initiates a professional relationship with obligation for response.
Practically nobody thinks this. You have no legal obligation to reply to messages. Everyone understands that. What people do think is that it's very annoying when you don't. I can't remember ever being ignored when reaching out to doctors, lawyers, therapists, or massage therapists, some of whom are solo practitioners working in the field part time. But my messages to pro cuddlers get ignored pretty often. It's not the end of the world, it's the nature of the game. But hardly anyone is accustomed to being ignored by businesses as a potential client, so it's always going to be a recurring complaint as new people join.
@CuddleWho
Why would the cuddle aspect change anything?
Because we are potentially meeting strangers from the internet in person. This site is designed to help us make friends and meet people whom we can become platonic friends with. People don’t typically meet up because they saw a funny video on TikTok or some meme on Instagram. Visiting someone’s page here can initiate conversation that may result in one sharing a couch/bed/theatre seat/whatever with a platonic cuddle buddy. Seeing who visits encourages that. Also, when it comes to dating sites, I think they should make it so you see who visited, if they don’t.
How does this provide safety?
Seeing visitors helps us to connect, but can also help us be alert if someone continuously visits but refuses to engage. A blanket rule requiring everyone to not be anonymous in our profile viewing helps deter people that may have intentions that are not platonic. We may be more public on here with our identities than on social media sites. What I would like to know is how you think allowing people to be anonymous would affect our safety here and if you think it would make us somehow more safe.
just two cents from an unqualified forum lurker...
But the suggestion from @Charlie_Bear - being able to categorize visits/favorites - would be a huge improvement, IFF it was visble in both directions (e.g. a "pro" can still see visitors tagging as interested in a session, vs whatever).
Right now the "recently visited you" is the only signal and its misleading and distracting because there is no way to distinguish if someone:
For pros/clients at least seems it would make targeting the interested visitors for DM more effective (vs sorry I clicked while vetting karna of this other person in a different state)
Become a Mod and you're stealth 100% of the time from the Visitors page of people. Helps more when you're checking reports and don't want the dozens of profiles daily you've viewed all messaging you wondering why you viewed their profile, but it's also not some setting we can turn on and off... once a Mod it gets turned on and just stays that way.
Funny. Someone recently viewed me, so I viewed them back. (Who wouldn’t?) Then it disappeared from my recently viewed list. I didn’t think anything of it until I saw the profile post in another thread. When I clicked on the profile again it said they blocked me. People can be weird sometimes.
Because we are potentially meeting strangers from the internet in person.
Same with Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, but they don't have this misfeature. It's not rare for people to meet up after connecting on Instagram either.
once a Mod it gets turned on
I thought the site was platonic?
@CuddleWho OKCupid used to allow you to see who visited - then they moved that feature behind a paywall. eHarmony does the same thing, I believe.
@WriterGF You're right, OKCupid used to allow one to see visitors. But I think you may be wrong about the paywall - you can't see visitors even if you pay.
FWIW here's an old OKCupid blog post that briefly discusses why they removed the Visitors list.
https://theblog.okcupid.com/why-were-removing-visitors-847b00f4293d
So this week, we removed visitors from all accounts because we realized that doing so makes OkCupid better. ... What does it mean when you get a visitor? It’s pretty simple: someone came to your profile to take a closer look. But unless that visitor followed up with a like or a message, what it indicates on a deeper level is harder to determine. In some ways, a visitor without a follow-up is a false signal. Some connections have sparked as the result of the visitors list, but likes and messages lead to more connections because the intention is clear. After all, it’s the people who see your profile and like it who deserve your attention — they at least have good taste.
So this week, we removed visitors from all accounts because we realized that doing so makes OkCupid better.
...
What does it mean when you get a visitor? It’s pretty simple: someone came to your profile to take a closer look. But unless that visitor followed up with a like or a message, what it indicates on a deeper level is harder to determine. In some ways, a visitor without a follow-up is a false signal. Some connections have sparked as the result of the visitors list, but likes and messages lead to more connections because the intention is clear. After all, it’s the people who see your profile and like it who deserve your attention — they at least have good taste.
This is similar to what I've been saying - who visited your profile isn't actually very useful information. It just leads to bizarre lines of thinking. (In fact, if someone visits your profile but doesn't message, isn't that actually potentially a negative sign?)
Note there's no discussion about the safety thing at all - because IMO there are no real safety implications either way.
A Pro “cold called” me out of nowhere the other day. She didn’t live in my area but messaged first and asked me if I was interested in hosting. I was going to write back and tell her no (and that she shouldn’t be doing that) but she was already banned. Case closed!
@CuddleWho Part of the reason I dropped OKC years ago is because they stopped showing the list. No, visiting someone didn't really mean anything -- but if someone came back to your profile three or four times, it at least gave you a reason to break the ice and send a hello.
Good points @protectoratum
@cuddletime222 I agree.
If someone is hesitant to visit a profile because they are afraid it would be viewed as stalking, that’s a good thing as far as I’m concerned.
So, yes or no? Is visiting a profile multiple times considered stalking? I would hope not.
First, considering the hundreds of profiles just in my local area, I often forget the details pertaining to a particular cuddler, and will revisit their page to refresh my memory.
Second, profile photos are added or deleted. A new photo will sometimes look so different I won't recognize the person.
Third, Pros often edit their summaries (I even do that once in a while, myself), or update their cuddle itinerary/travel schedule, and I'm curious to see the changes. Or they may just be an interesting person, regardless of whether we ever cuddle or not.
Fourth, I obviously don't want to be giving off any creep vibes, except for that one rude person down at the DMV.
Personally, I wouldn't care if someone visited my profile multiple times (...no-one ever does). And I wouldn't mind being contacted by Pros passing through my town whom I wouldn't be aware of otherwise.
Some people just can't remember things beyond a few minutes and may end up visiting a profile multiple times, across multiple days, while doing searches because they're comparing info ('Were they the one who said ___?'), or they just don't remember having clicked on them in the first place.
I think it would be nice if we had a way of recording 'interested, maybe, indifferent, not' and it would show as a colored dot on their pic in the search list and visitors lists. I mean the notes are fine and all, but you still have to click on a profile to see them - so they're not really a good way to keep from needing to revisit a person's page.
@quixotic_life Bingo!
I think it would be nice if we had a way of recording 'interested, maybe, indifferent, not'
Also add the “make an appointment to be checked for memory loss” reminder.
@WriterGF
if someone came back to your profile three or four times, it at least gave you a reason to break the ice and send a hello.
I mean, if that's what you want to do, so be it, but why in the world do you need a reason? Women are on the site to receive messages, so... just message them?
🤣 @BoomerSpooner ~ no kidding!!
I like seeing when people stop by so I can welcome them. Many great conversations have started this way!
@TxTom I think it depends if they ever actually engage in conversation with the person they are visiting. I can’t say if the person considers themself as stalking but that is how it will most likely be perceived if they visit a lot without ever saying anything.
@CuddleWho I would cold message a pro, but not an enthusiast who has never visited my profile. You just end up being one more of 500 random messages that will likely never be viewed.
As a relatively new user of this site, I like the visitors feature. So far no one has visited my profile that I haven't visited first, and that's cool. I am mainly interested in connecting with pros, and I would think most pros would understand that a visit to their profile is akin to reading an online advertisement for any other good or service. Nice that they can see who's looking so they can follow up if desired. But the "conversion rate" from viewing to booking is going to be low, just as it is with any other business.
I didn’t read all the comments so I don’t know if this has been mentioned but LinkedIn has an option where you can hide yourself from visits but if you opt in on this you also can’t see when people visit you. Forgive me if anyone mentioned this yet, I’m sipping on some liquor cuddled up on the couch with my wife and my dog. Dogs are the best cuddle buddies.