Safety check in... PRO OR ENTHUSIAST

cuddlebugTMcuddlebugTM
in General

If you do a check in for safety . If you meet at a hotel either you choose the hotel or get the info about hotel a few hours before no exception . You need to make sure you will feel safe there ! If you have a safety buddy please make sure to give them good info . Hopefully it’s someone you know well . Give them your name , real name of client , location of cuddle session ( hotel room number if you are using hotels ) picture of the client , what car you are driving , if you can the pic plate of the clients car . As much info as you can do. That way if they have to call police they can give them as much info as possible . Also make your window to check in no more than an hour after you expect to be done . If session is going to go longer check in and tell your buddy !! Please be safe out there !!! If you feel iffy or unsure go with your gut no cuddle or money is worth your safety !!

Comments

  • [Deleted User]ivlegend (deleted user)

    Very well explained. Thanks a lot

  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)

    This seems to be a rehashing of the 'photo ID' thread in the Pro Cuddling section that deemed "the California civil code says a copy of a drivers license cannot be made." From what I gather it seems people are more willing to give out that kind of info to a company more than an individual. Maybe a DBA would help? ^_^

    I volunteered as a safety check-in so I'm all for that and believe safety should be above everything else, even comfort.

    Does everyone feel safe and at ease doing everything described in the OP? Does anyone have any alternatives? I know @BlueIris is quite bold in her cuddling endeavors. Is this something you feel the need to do? Or @Brandi since she's a long-time Pro.

    6 years ago I invited someone over at 1am from craigslist. I was 5'6, 190lbs and she was 5'0 110 lbs. At first I thought "this will be great! I really need a good cuddle!" But then I started wondering why she agreed to come over at 1 am having never met, only exchanging 4 emails. I hid all off my cash and valuables before she arrived. We engaged in about 30 seconds of small talk we laid down to cuddle. I remember grazing her sweatpant pockets and hands to make sure she didn't have a blade or anything. After about one minute we realized neither of us was going to murder the other and enjoyed the cuddle.

    I would never do something like that now but wouldn't feel the need to gather the info described in the OP. I talk someone to death and get to know them for weeks normally before meeting (also due to schedules). Everyone has their own way to feel at ease and trust someone. So I'm wondering if people (from both sides of the coin) would feel ok with the above-mentioned. And if not, what do you do to feel safe when meeting someone?

  • cuddlebugTMcuddlebugTM
    edited February 2018

    This isn’t about the photo ID thread this is about safety check ins if you don’t want to do photo ID there are other ways to prove the person is who they say they are . It’s about safety for both pro and client or both enthusiast

  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)

    That's one of my questions. If someone does not feel comfortable doing the Photo ID, what are the alternatives? Would a Skype session suffice? Or is something more needed?

    I'm not trying to be difficult I just want to explore options and see what others have done to verify the person so they can feel safe.

  • cuddlebugTMcuddlebugTM

    Skype session doesn’t help if a safety buddy has to call the police to get you help . It’s part of the vetting process to help feel safer .

  • [Deleted User]curiousgeorge1 (deleted user)

    Cuddlebug would you also show other cuddler you ID?

  • cuddlebugTMcuddlebugTM

    Yes I would the trust goes both ways . You can meet in lobby of hotel or public place visually see IDs without getting a copy . Confirm the name with your safety check in and room number you will be in for safety . Clients can have a safety buddy as well who does the same thing !!

  • cuddlebugTMcuddlebugTM

    As a nanny at times I worked in hotels for people traveling on vacation I offered them a background check but expected they give me their name and show me their ID before I would go . I would have a friend have all the info so I kept myself safe .

  • BlueIrisBlueIris Mod
    edited February 2018

    @chococuddles - I have never asked anyone for a photo ID, nor has any cuddle buddy or client asked me for mine. ID's can easily be falsified, and Dr. House said "everybody lies." So how would I know, unless I fingerprinted them and ran their prints through the police system, whether they had given me their real name or not?

    I've done only two hotel cuddles so far. Both were with guys I'd known for months. I'd talked to them by phone extensively and corresponded with them heavily. The hotel cuddle was the first time meeting with each of them, but I didn't have the slightest hesitation. They both did tons of things to make me feel at ease. They chose the hotel, both were in safe places. One guy texted me the hotel's confirmation email so that I'd know he had booked the room. I didn't know the make and model of either of their vehicles, didn't ask. Both these guys were exceptional cuddles and fine human beings. I adore them both!

    I typically have a lot of contact with people before I meet them and a photo of them so I can recognize them when I meet them in a public place. That also is a barometer of how truthful they are when their real-life face matches the photo they sent me. By that time, I will have a phone number and will have texted them in addition to messaging and talking on the phone.

    I rely the most heavily on the communications I have with my intended cuddler. Is he friendly, polite, forthcoming, chatty, evasive, considerate, egocentric. The best guys are constantly doing things to make me feel comfortable and at ease with them. The good guys stand out and have a huge base of common traits, as do the sketchy guys.

    I'm not big on giving iffy people the benefit of the doubt. My safety is my top priority. All my good guys did not ever give me one second's worth of doubt. Granted, I don't do extensive background checking on anyone. I really do very little of it. I rely on my personal profiling ability, bolstered by having read a half dozen books written by CIA officers on spotting deceptive behavior. People can falsify information, but the average person's acting ability usually can't hold up long term.

  • cuddlebugTMcuddlebugTM
    edited February 2018

    I think that is great BlueIris. I think everyone should do whatever makes them feel safest ! Hold firm to your boundaries no matter what anyone thinks because at the end of the day you need to be safe . If another cuddler can’t do that or won’t then they aren’t a good fit for you . Just don’t ask for something you wouldn’t do yourself .

  • cuddlebugTMcuddlebugTM

    You can also require to check in with your client because you need ID and credit card to check into hotel so they have to confirm who they are . If they do it before hand they can have a friend get the hotel for them so if you won’t show me your ID because you are afraid of identity theft then check in together .

  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)

    @cuddlebugTm that was BlueIris, not Brandi. ;)

    @BlueIris - Love what you wrote and that's pretty much what I do. Constant communication over a period of time - colors will be revealed if we are a match or not. And that's one thing I like @cuddlebugTm keeps bringing up - compatibility.

    This is beautiful and exactly what I as hoping for. Two pros with different points of view with one thing in mind: safety. I'm sure others have their own way as well so please feel free to share.

  • cuddlebugTMcuddlebugTM

    You are correct I’ll edit

  • BlueIrisBlueIris Mod

    @chococuddles - There have been a few I cuddled without weeks of extensive communication, and they turned out fine, too. They had the same basic "good guy" characteristics that I look for, and there was not even the merest hint of a red flag in their conversation. With a few of them, because of their geographic proximity, we went from messaging to an in-person meet rather quickly. They were as nice in person as anticipated, so we went from there to a cuddle.

    Compatibility and respect: easy to spot, both absolutely necessary.

  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)

    @BlueIris - Thank you for this. The main issue with safety is comfort and it's nice to see people have different ways of achieving it. Like with most things there's no right or wrong way, just which way fits you best.

    When I first joined I thought there was a pro-only forum where these things were discussed but maybe not. Regardless, threads like this are great for new cuddlers (pros and non-pros alike) who are a little lost starting out.

  • cuddlebugTMcuddlebugTM

    There are I posted here because enthusiast need safety too

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    @CuddlebugTM how do you get your clients license plate information? Do you ask them for it? When you send their information to your check up person, name, personal pictures, license plate information, do you ask your client if they’re okay with you doing that?

  • BlueIrisBlueIris Mod
    edited February 2018

    @chococuddles - You're right, everyone has their own ways of doing what they need to do to feel safe. I'm not a fearful or timid person, plus my ability to read people has served me well for many years. It's based on the collection of a lot of observations of minutiae in the way a person behaves and communicates, and then putting the pieces together in ways that others may not have thought of. Plus, I have a zero tolerance for signs of disrespect.

    It must be working, as I have not even had any close calls yet.

  • cuddlebugTMcuddlebugTM
    edited February 2018

    I always ask it’s all about consent !! If they aren’t ok with it and they dont have a reasonable equal alternative I walk . It’s not a good match

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    Awesome

  • cuddlebugTMcuddlebugTM

    I use same after precautions as I do online dating . Checking in together at hotel is a good alternative for me . If I’m getting in Their car I get license plate or if I’m meeting at a hotel .

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    Checking into a hotel when online dating? :o

  • cuddlebugTMcuddlebugTM

    It was an example . No I dont do that with someone I just met but I dobt judge those that do because I don’t shame people for their sex life . No shame here .

  • MorpheusMorpheus
    edited February 2018

    I wasn’t shaming I was more like SWEET =) and I’m totally joking around btw

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