Guys, don't stalk a woman's social media account unless she gives it to you and certainly don't act like a weirdo.
thanks dad!
Reported and reviewed. Removing comment referring to white-knighting. [Charlie_Bear]
Or, @MikeRams, don’t stalk women’s social media.
Thanks for outing yourself, @MikeRams 👍 this is not white knighting
Another troll...
Also incel/PUA/MRA red flags from the dude:
Pros: I made a long ass post about this in the Pros Only forum.
So what is this, a male presentation of histrionic personality disorder?
No, @cde123, turns out it’s more of a parade of misogynistic trolls outing themselves via toxic masculinity. 🤷♂️
The comment I made has been noted as confusing. Hopped up on too much caffeine to think straight. Going to leave this one.
@cde123 not a good idea to play armchair psychologist, especially from a single example, as it feeds the stigma around mental health issues. Could be any number of mental health issues or maladaptations, but having mental health issues does not excuse bad or harmful behavior. But there's definitely narcissist behaviors being displayed, lack of social skills, lack of self-awareness, low self-esteem and compensation, etc.
Oh my goodness I will not be able to make it through. Once I got to the voice messages I was cringing too much 😅
Sidebar:
Some of us are not knowledgeable enough on given topics to know what various anachronyms mean. For the benefit of people like me, an initial full spelling of the words, followed by the subsequent use of anachronym would be appreciated.
Thank you in advance.
Essentially, especially in a recent, modern, "Fox News" reality, the moment I hear anyone using this tone of voice, and this cadence, I simply turn it off and go about my business.
No matter what the message, this is someone doing their best to use propaganda techniques, rhythms, and phrases.
I would not chat with someone trying to sell me vinyl siding at my front door, so why give this person 20+ minutes of my time?
@CharlesInWI are you talking about the host or the guy sending voice clips to the woman?
@cuddlefaery
The host. I didn't make it beyond about 25 seconds.
@CharlesInWI while I agree the tone was too "lets study this while its viral." I think its good things like this get seen. I couldn't see it for more than five seconds. You made it way further than I did. The guy started talking and I was like, "nope. Got the point. I'm good."
@CharlesInWI it's pretty standard streamer presentation for Twitch etc., so I suppose I'm used to it. They're usually actively interacting with a large chat room which is why they're overly animated and trying to keep the energy engaging. It's less about propaganda as keeping chat entertained and interactive so that they earn money - entertainment opinion reacting to video, not news reporting.
The tl;dr (too long, didn't read or in this case didn't watch) version:
A creepy guy didn't match with a woman on a dating website, so he tracked her down on social media and messaged her and the proceeded to send her a whole bunch of really socially awkward, really overly detailed and oversharing voice messages about why he was messaging her and why he thought they'd be perfect together even though they didn't match.
He kept going on about how he knew it was weird and creepy, but promised he wasn't...while being weird and creepy. And also kept bragging about how great he was and making really bad jokes and non sequitur comments about his life. And after the woman shared all this online, a bunch of other women chimed in that he's done the exact same thing to them, even using the same lame jokes and lines.
Social media stalking. Great skill to have as a private investigator. Not so great in the dating world. Heh, I can think of a few of my professional skills that don't go well in the dating world, and also some that don't well in the civilian world.
But yeah, I couldn't handle very much of the video either, and I agree, dude ain't right in the head.
I watched about half of the video and don't really see a problem with it. I don't get into post-psychoanalysis of supposed netiquette violations.
Bottom line: I interact with folks online exactly as I would in-person, standing in front of them.
@CharlesInWI I don't get your connection between the video host and Fox News.
It's his unique character on YouTube. I like that people has a different online personality rather than all sounding the same.
@cuddlefaery You just described it as a personality disorder, since you said it's pervasive and he does this to everyone. Recognizing when people are unfixable, and your only option is to nope out, is extremely important in my opinion. Some mental health conditions can seriously hurt others and are very important to recognize quickly.
@TxTom I’m a little confused. The host or the stalker?
@stormydaycuddle I don't see a problem with the video host analyzing the stalker.
It seems @CharlesInWI has a problem with the video host, and was comparing him to Fox News.
I was just seeking clarification on that. If I misinterpreted Charles' comments, I apologize.
@TxTom
A spectrum of announcer tone and cadence, meant specifically to sway.
Be it a salesman throwing a pitch to you to buy "bigger, better, more", or a want to be pedagogue, or an up and coming evil dictator, that specific tone means that it wants me to believe it, and that when I believe it I will be one of the "With It" crowd.
I hear it, from whoever, and immediately shut down and move on.
@CharlesInWI So if I'm understanding you correctly, you are turned off more by the host's manner of delivery, rather than the underlying purpose of analyzing a stalker?
@txtom thanks for the clarification. @CharlesInWI can dislike the delivery method and get the message. If I'm not mistaken he was a mod when I first signed up and spent a lot of time defending us against such behavior.
@cde123 I described disparate behaviors, symptoms, or traits that we are able to observe. They may or not be a personality disorder - only a trained professional who is able to spend an extensive amount of time with the individual fan diagnose a personality disorder.
Us slapping on the diagnosis lable from afar with so little information is part of an extremely harmful societal practice. It's the same judgemental practice that causes people to look at someone behaving "oddly" or what we deem "socially unacceptable" and call it "crazy" or "insane"..... Like being gay, having PMDD, being autistic, being deaf, or just not being in the center of the bell curve of this particular culture's arbitrary social norms.
Making uninformed, unprofessional diagnoses also harms people who in fact have the named condition as it can create a stigma around that particular label. People come to expect that everyone with histrionic personality disorder will behave like those few portrayed in the media - like how everyone thinks paranoid schizophrenia is always raving hallucinations, or how bipolar is always manic, or that anyone with a mental illness is dangerous to the public (when in fact they are far more likely to be a VICTIM than a perpetrator by such a large margin compared to "normal" society it's heartbreaking). It can also stop people from seeking help if they suspect they might have one of the conditions with a negative stigma because they don't want to be associated with it.
So please, leave the diagnosing to the professionals and stick to naming what you can observe like behaviors.
@cuddlefaery @cde123 I'm going to point out that we all did it in some way shape or form. Cde with his comment. Cuddlefaery with your list and me with my previous comment about narcissists. So, yep yep.
Indeed. I never got past the fifth sentence.
I have no idea what the host was selling.
I'm going to go against the grain here (please don't crucify me!😬). I watched/listened to the entire video.... I didn't feel like it was that bad. 🤷 There, I said it...😳
I mean, should the guy have looked up her social media? Probably not... And he did sound cringe with several things he said....but...
She told him go ahead. 🤷 Of course he was listing what he feels are his best attributes in a rapid fire manor be cause he only gets the one shot. Did it work? Clearly not....but did he have to go ahead and try....kinda...
I'm not downplaying the dangers posed to women on the daily, but also I'm not sure I want to be construed as unapproachable. I, just like all of you, end up with a variety in my inbox...some funny, some audacious, some disturbing....but also some really nice, that have genuinely turned to friendship or more.
I will concede to maybe I'm missing something?
