Hi friends, Newbie here, Was wondering if anyone had tips for getting started, How do you typically approach cuddling convo's and where are some good places to break the ice - pre cuddle? Any tips/experiences are appreciated!
Welcome! 👋
If you haven't already, check out the stickied threads at the top of each section of the forum - that's the best place start!
Chatting in the forums is a great way for people to get an idea of your personality pre-conversation, though the forums aren't location specific. In the Requests forums there are regional threads where you could introduce yourself to get a little more local.
Other than that, sending a respectful and targeted intro message to any cuddlers whose profiles you find interesting is another good way to start talking with people in your local area.
The following advice is for pro cuddling, not enthusiast cuddling. Not sure what you’re looking for.
Biggest tip: read profiles. Pros and enthusiasts alike are inundated with messages daily, and often those messages directly violate boundaries we listed in our profile that we did not want crossed. Read the cuddler’s profile and make sure to follow their guidelines when crafting your initial thoughtful message.
Don’t say a one word greeting or a canned copy-paste. This will set off a red flag of you being what we call “time wasters”. You will probably receive no response or an unfriendly response. Unless your copy paste message is very convincing, I guess 🤷♀️
Use the resources in the forums to research. There’s tons of sticky threads that provide a wealth of information.
Treat Pros like they are a small business. Professional boundaries apply. This can vary between pro to pro but I think it’s better to be more formal rather than too friendly when you don’t know where someone stands. Do not assume they will provide ice breaker time pre cuddle for free. Some do, but then some charge for that time. I don’t even meet someone for coffee unless I’m being paid because that’s time I could instead be taking shifts at my other jobs. Again, reading profiles will help you see where someone stands because many seasoned pros will specify such things in their profile.
Be prepared to undergo vetting processes for your cuddler to feel safe. Please understand that we put ourselves at risk of being attacked or trafficked every time we do this, and we also see horrific stories but they didn’t vet him well enough to have any of his personal info to report him to police. So, when we see this happening all the time, we understandably have thorough vetting procedures. An example of vetting is a pro might want to see your ID.
Absolutely no clothing requests. The second you ask, it’s a massive red flag to any seasoned pro. Exceptions are allergies to fabric. But we all know there’s a difference between “Could you please wear a different fabric pants” vs “Can you wear a revealing tank top and booty shorts and cat ears”
Reported and reviewed. Removed some text. [Charlie_Bear]
Welcome, welcome! A smiling profile shot is always a really good place to start, but not a requirement.
I like to message back and forth on here, then meet up for coffee or go for a walk in a park, as far as pre-cuddles.
Hope you find some awesome Canadians nearby!
~ Sunset Snuggles
Be a decent person and respect peoples' boundaries and put some thought into making sure people enjoy being around you.
Don't message enthusiasts (non-pros).
Your opening message to a pro should be a polite greeting, a request to cuddle, and details about when you're available, what length of session you're after, etc.
It's a good idea to message multiple pros at once - many pros either don't reply or ghost after they do reply, so if you only message one at a time, you're likely to go through multiple rounds of waiting for replies before you eventually get a cuddle booked.
Contrary to what you'll read on the forum, the large majority of pros basically don't vet at all, and you shouldn't feel obligated to undergo an intrusive vetting process. A brief unpaid call before booking is probably reasonable. But as for sending a copy of your ID or paying a deposit... do what you feel is best; just remember the person you're communicating with is a total stranger on the Internet.
Realize that things on the actual site are very different from how they're presented on the forum. For instance, the above comment says "Absolutely no clothing requests." Now, it's definitely good to recognize that some pros will not appreciate clothing requests, and you should be very wary of saying anything that could come off as expressing sexual desire... but if you do a few sessions with pros, you're likely to get at least one of them who specifically asks you what you'd like her to wear. So, take forum comments as a guideline and a helpful perspective, but not as gospel.
@CuddleWho posted: "Don't message enthusiasts (non-pros)."
As an enthusiast, I emphatically disagree with this one.
However, your bit about clothing requests is legit...plenty of Pro's state outfit color choices on their profiles, etc. It definitely varies.
@SunsetSnuggles
Even if every man on the site stopped sending opening messages to enthusiasts tomorrow, you and other enthusiasts would still be free to message them as you wished. And if that happened, it would probably result in a lot less net frustration and hurt feelings than the current arrangement.
I would HIGHLY suggest only message clothing requests if it is explicitly stated in their profile that that is ok....otherwise it is one of our top red flags. If a cuddler does not specifically spell out that they are happy to receive clothing requests in their profile, best to assume not to touch that with a 10ft pole if you want any chance of meeting.
When speaking with a pro, do NOT try to take communication off site before scheduling! That's a huge red flag and a bannable offense.
Be polite Be platonic Be direct and to the point Be patient Be prepared to get a lot of no replies Be prepared to pay for pro cuddles
if you’re in the GTA don’t get your hopes up
Reported and reviewed. Removed second half of comment. [Charlie_Bear]