Build a presence in the forum. Get to know people even if they aren't local to you. You might cross paths with them one day.
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Totes agree, @Mike403! Though easier said than done, when you're really touch-starved, I'm sure. But if people look at this site as solely a means to cuddle and skip over the community aspect and the endless friendship opportunities, I think it's a real shame.
~ Sunset Snuggles
@SunsetSnuggles - The pros on this site helps get our touch needs met in the meantime.
Ummm … hmmmm … I get that building a presence on forums can be beneficial. We are all different and to be honest some profiles just don’t for whatever reason(s) come across the forums well . Probably mine included lol 😂
But for what it is worth I didn’t post on forum much if at all when I joined and went the direct route by messaging peeps and for whatever reasons that worked really well for me personally
Now I get that’s a concern also because duh we seem to not get messages returned here which is top 5 forum thread material no doubt . I didn’t experience that concern . I had good experiences with members returning messages so I was fortunate there I guess.
I get concerned when it gets mentioned to be on forums to have better success here. Mine was opposite and didn’t really get active on forums till pandemic’s arrival. And I already had been an active member for 3 years by then with little forum contributions. Then , during Covid, forum was a good way to chat with peeps as it was only alternative for me personally.
@OhioMike - If you look at how many people complain about enthusiasts not responding to their messages, that's why I made this post. It's great that messaging them worked for you. It isn't working for everyone.
@Mike403 but if we are talking about just pure numbers here …. The vast vast vast majority of members aren’t active on the forums or to be blunt … don’t care about the forums. I think if you really want to meet peeps here don’t give up on messaging directly just find a message that’s gets returned 😊
And nothing wrong with partaking in the forums but I really don’t think it’s successful for some even though you personally have obviously found success thru this format .
@OhioMike - True but sending a mass email of "hi" is less likely to be replied to and writing a well thought out message to every enthusiast in your area causes burn-out after awhile. I met @SunsetSnuggles this way. She visited Colorado and we toured the Botanic Gardens in Denver.
@Mike403 well goodness , I hope my messages were a little more than a “hi” 🤣 !
@OhioMike you are spot on. I would ONLY take advice from those who truly have had success as you have, whether on or off the forum.
I am with @OhioMike on this. I didn’t need the forum to connect with enthusiasts or pros or anybody. BUT, I also came into this expecting not everybody would respond back because, heh, it’s the internet, they are strangers, and you are not going to be a fit with everyone.
Saying the forum is necessary for success is like saying you need sharks to make you swim faster across the English Channel. If you aren’t motivated already then the sharks are only a negative. Likewise, the forums aren’t the friendliest of places, nor are they very representative of most of the people using the site. My take is the forums are where [those who are seeking the most help will be active]. I like the forums for a variety of reasons but not for meeting cuddle partners as I was doing fine before and after the forums.
Reported and reviewed. Modified comment. [Charlie_Bear]
@BoomerSpooner well said. I come here for the entertainment only. It's a giant ass dumpster fire.
@BoomerSpooner - That's funny. I don't remember saying the forums are necessary for success.
@Mike403 Ok if you are splitting hairs you said “build a presence on the forums.” Still not necessary though. I did not tag you so I did not know I needed a surgeon’s scalpel to post the general sentiment of the thread.
I didn't realize this post was gonna receive such a negative response. I just wanted to throw out an alternative idea rather than worrying about getting non-responses from people in your area.
I think perhaps another way to frame it is that if you're struggling with getting responses via messaging alone, engaging in the forums more may be another tool that can help. Everyone communicates differently and will shine better through different mediums. I think part of the problem folks face is they try to treat online communication like chatting someone up at a bar....or worse, they say things online that would NEVER fly irl because they think "it's just the internet, it doesn't matter". Talking on the phone is different than video, texting is different than real time chat rooms, letter writing is different than social media groups, etc. Each format has its own skill set and set of unwritten "rules" for social engagement to be learned in order to communicate effectively, but people often overlook this.
@cuddlefaery your suggestion does make more sense. The forums are one of several tools that one could use, but it is not necessarily a panacea for not finding a cuddle buddy.
Follow @Mike403 advice, it works. But then you’ll be like the rest of us when we look at those threads start.
Follow me @ uhm I mean post on my thread..... Actually just answer my messages. Or damn just take my bag of quarters, can I send quarters on cash app? F it... Let me be your teddybear
If messaging people directly works for you, then you didn't even need to open this thread. @cuddlefaery did a more effective job of communicating my thoughts than I did.
Nah, it needed to be attacked.
Another teddy bear here. I notice that several guys that have had success direct messaging have also been here a number of years. My question is, has the character of the community here changed over that time? If so, how?
@Mike403 I appreciate that you are encouraging people to get to know each other on the forums. It might not get a closeby cuddle partner, but some might find a gem of a LD friend!
@OhioMike I love your Gap! 😀
@BareCareBear where? 😳 oh that! lol Its a Dave Letterman Midwest Thing 😂
For me, the forums have helped tremendously. I have been able to use posts/comments others have made as icebreakers and I’d say I have had far greater success meeting people on the forums than from messaging out of the blue.
I think making conversation in the forum is good as long as it doesnt go all drama. Drama can lead to escalation and affect people in more ways than possibly imagined. I dont like drama...I just wanna cuddle. Viewers may percieve a post differently than originally intended without an author having vocallization and tone to assist. Hmmmm... vocalized forum posts 🤔🤔🤔 is it possible? So you can write and speak what you are saying by pressing a little record/play button or something on each entry. Ill just copy this into the ideas section...
@Charlie_Bear - The forums helped me tremendously. I'm trying to ignore the trolls and interact with people who actually wants to talk to me.
@Mike403 since you've been here a while, can you say how you've experienced this community over the years has changed? Assuming it has anyway.
Even a couple of pros that are in or have visited my area that frequent the forums. It made it feel more like I was cuddling an old friend and not a total stranger. I believe there's benefits all around to having forums on this site.