@Charlie_Bear Is this a consistently recurring complaint?
Depends on who clicks and how often. If it’s someone I’ve had a not-so-positive experience with and they click daily or a few times per day…then yes…it feels…icky. Additionally, the people who view your profile daily but never message you or introduce themselves. I’ve started reaching out to these folks, because I’m like—hey, I can see you over here. 👀
As far as folks from the forums clicking, that’s normal. Honestly, I try to be active in here not just because I enjoy it, but to drive folks to my profile. I know my photo doesn’t show up in the forums for some reason, and people are curious, so they click. That in turn drives more traffic to my page.
It’s only creepy when the same person who asked for something hella weird or crossed a boundary is perusing your page daily, or the chronic lurkers…those who lurk obsessively but never contact you. I’ve just started introducing myself first. 👀 👋
@Rachel_P - Are you reporting these people? If they are asking for something fetish related or pushing boundaries, they should not even be on this site.
I had such an interesting frequent clicker send me a message today… I hope the mods aren’t as traumatized as I am. 😂😂😂 @Charlie_Bear @cheeseboy I deeply apologize to whoever handled that. 😂😂😂 I think I need therapy. So, it’s hard to say… are they clicking and thinking (about booking or saying hi) or are they clicking and THINKING… totally different things. So hard to say.
Ill just put it like this since some people are judge and jury about all things internet appropriate. Anybody that goes in the webirnet to find somebody to hug should not fool themselves into thinking that in itself is not weird. We are all strange as f, some of us more so then others which creates awkwardness and self consciousness. Show grace to the overzealous clicker and unless they are sitting outside your house in the bush wearing a onsey and putting air in an inflatable bed while posting on the forum and repeatedly clicking on your photo yelling whispering your screen name silently and drooling... Maybe just ignore it, put your phone down, or take a mental break and timeout the account. Thats why its there. You know this internet thing is the devil like foosball. Throw some holy water on your phone and read a book in a park around other people and notice how people are genuinely looking at shit constantly. Even to the point some people ask wtf are you looking at... They are rude generally. Lol.
@BgstickTeddyBea i agree only… all that stuff you described was my morning. 😂😂😂
@BgstickTeddyBea with the wisdom.
@teddybear888 this is the first time I’ve seen this one on the forum in my 2years… doesn’t seem like it would be.
I used to be bothered by it before getting clicked on a lot and no response, but not anymore. These days I have been posting new photos almost on a daily basis and don't care anymore. I wasn't posting too often before too many photos. I don't get bothered at all anymore.
@teddybear888 It is something that is reported from time to time and something I have seen pros take issue with without going so far as reporting it.
@stormydaycuddle I’m about to check out of life after reading that message you were sent. I need some serious eye bleach after that.
I usually click on profiles as a geography lesson.
See what city/state/country they live in and how many miles away that is from me.
I’ll click a second time a few days later as a test of my memory.
Embarrassingly, sometimes I click a profile picture /profile name here on the forums when I was trying to flag the comment… I got fat thumbs and a small phone.
No viewing profile is the best part of the website; I enjoy reading about consensual platonic cuddling.
@stormydaycuddle - you didn't carry the conversation with the person you reported. There's actually a part 2 that's just as creepy. @Charlie_Bear - you'll need extra bleach if you go searching for part 2. I don't believe any of it is true.
How the hell does one be a mod around here without needing lots of intensive therapy?
@Charlie_Bear @cheeseboy first round of therapy is on me. 😂😂😂
@cheeseboy @stormydaycuddle 😳😳😳 that there is someone that is most likely digging holes in their backyard at 2am
@Charlie_Bear prob why the message was sent at 3. He had to prep dirt...Okay, yeah. I'm good. I'm just going to forget it now. Hugs.
I often re-check some profiles just to see if now maybe they’re able to Host vs Guest only or if something else in their profile might have been updated. There’s only so many pros in my area, kinda hard not to double check every now & then.
No, if I'm interested in setting something up with locals I might need to check two or three options several times over the course of the weekend to remember who offers what or where or check their rates
If you're on the boards here I might revisit your profile if I forget I've seen it in the past or want to see how well thought out profiles look
If I don't recognize your screenname but you swap out pics frequently, I'll tend to visit multiple times mistakenly
If you're often in the feed on the front of the site but you swap pics often I won't remember I clicked you, or if you're someone who travels so you're swapping out your locations often I'm not going to remember I've seen you
Lastly, if you're one of my friends who posts new things to their profile often I might check it here or there
Our profiles here are not private - people do not have to be approved "friends" to view our profiles....they don't even have to be members here. To think that viewing your profile multiple times constitutes "stalking" is in internet terms akin to claiming that someone driving by a billboard on their way to work is stalking the company, or that people walking by your open window being able to see directly inside from the street as they go about their business are "stalking".
It really irks me when terms like "stalking" and "ghosting" get overused to describe something that they clearly are not. Just like when someone who likes to be neat jokes that they are "so OCD" or someone makes a comment about "everyone is a bit ADHD", using those words out of context for things they were not intended cheapens their meaning and invalidates the lived experiences of the people who actually have experienced them. As someone who actually has been stalked, including by someone on the internet, to the point of restraining orders, changes of phone number, and having to move in order to feel safe, seeing people comment or joke about window shoppers of public profiles being "stalkers" is incredibly frustrating and triggering.
If having no control over strangers viewing your profile is upsetting to you, then you should not have a public profile. Period. If knowing that people are viewing your profile multiple times without engaging with you bothers you, then you'd probably be a lot happier finding other platforms that have security features like approved friends lists. But if you are going to continue using CC, it'd probably be best to keep in mind that profiles here are essentially public personal ads a la craigslist - don't put anything on them you don't want public knowledge, and come to grips with the fact that by having a profile at all you are throwing the doors wide open and inviting people to look.
Shaming people for looking is wrong and hypocritical, full stop, it doesn't matter their reason for looking. If they're breaking TOS, report them. But otherwise we really need to change this dialog around "stalking".
/rant
“I want to be seen, be appreciated, but not by YOU…
Yuck!”
That was my two sentence essay about one way that humans are so ridiculous.
@cuddlefaery - The visitors list here should go away IMO. Facebook doesn't notify someone if somebody visits their page and that's a more likely platform where internet stalking can occur.
Yep, I got my stalker from MySpace back in the day @Mike403 . I learned the hard way about internet safety in my late teens/early 20s before it became more mainstream. Having a dude track you overseas will do that 😅🙄
@cuddlefaery - A pro that I met on here back in 2017 told me that she had to dealer with a stalker from this website and she ended up leaving the site and stopped taking new clients. It's very depressing. I continued to book with her directly once a month who I still see to this day. She told me I'm now her only client left after the COVID pandemic.
I’ve sometimes inadvertently visited a profile multiple times, not intentionally, but rather because I accidentally saved it as a bookmark or a “recently opened” item.
@JustPlaneCuddle doing background checks is just fine, but I wouldn’t be surprised if people shy away from booking you over that. I’m certainly one who is weirded out by that. Not because I’m concerned a background check on me would turn up anything (it won’t), I just don’t feel it’s something I want anyone other than law enforcement or a potential employer to do. If someone feels they need to background check me before a session, I just figure that hyper-vigilance would show itself in a session, and I’d just not get the cuddle experience I want. I feel screening calls should suffice to get a good feel for the client, but when someone feels that’s not enough, I’d personally just pass on booking them. If they don’t have confidence in their ability to get a feel for me through my messages and a video call, then I just won’t feel any alignment with them.
Yeah, I don’t see the point of knowing who’s visiting profiles or not. So what if you click my profile, lol. It doesn’t measure interest, intention… A view count # would probably be more telling as opposed to knowing who’s doing all the looking. It’s human nature to be curious. I could match and look at anyone a billion times over but I think it only really matters when they speak up and actually say something.
Stalker, no. Lurker, maybe.
@PrettyLuv You hit the nail on the head. Frequent visits without communication is lurking not stalking. However, stalkers sometimes lurk. Stalkers may also have a blank profile and not display a photo. They may also send time wasting messages.
That doesn’t mean all lurkers are stalkers, or all blank profiles are stalkers, or all time wasters are stalkers. These may be yellow or red flags, but I would contend that none of these things alone is a very good indicator of anything.
@cuddlefaery it seems your definition is a little harsh toward those who have stalkers and you require considerable action on the stalkers part for a definition. “FULL STOP” life isn’t relegated to your experiences alone. In general I don’t see profile viewing multiple times as stalking however there is an area you clearly aren’t seeing. I apologize that the people being stalked here even in smaller ways aren’t living up to your standards.
Edit: /lecture over
It is public... we are human... victim blaming isn't kind. Nor is thinking everyone who visits three times is stalking. It's a gray area in which habitual viewing can be stalking but the situation truly depends.
We must also consider that (we will call them high level stalkers) use every micro piece of info they can get so yes they visit profiles quite a bit to see if anything's changed or there's a slip up in what the person said.
THAT DOESN'T mean the victim has to erase their presence from the internet. OMG... Okay, I lied. This lecture is probably not over.
Traveling cuddlers have to be especially wary about their locations etc. So does anyone who works with an online schedule. A Real Estate agent was killed recently due to her schedule being open on the internet and being called to show a house. That doesn't mean real estate agents shouldn't use the internet.
We live in the age of the internet. Virtual presence is necessary for a lot of things.
And if someone walks by your house once and sees into your living room.... okay whatever but if they do it constantly... yeah stalking.
Passing billboards isn't the same either. There's a personal disconnect here based on limited POV.