The first thing the British army teaches new recruits is how to wash themselves. I mean the corporal physically demonstrates how to shower correctly, in a shower.
Yes. And tongue SCRAPING. I’m sure brushing the tongue is better than nothing but If you get a metal scraper. Perhaps copper. You will see a carpet come off!!!!
Factors that influence body/breath odor besides a bath:
In regards to environment, no matter how much effort one might take in showering, if their environment is filled with a particular odor, chances are the gases fueling that odor are going to apply themselves onto the skin of the recently showered person and interact with their skin and create some kind of odorous mix. To keep oneself smelling nice, the environment must also be kept smelling nice as well. This applies to non-smokers who live with smokers as well.
In regards to tonsil stones, no matter how much one brushes their teeth, & tongue, the sulfur fumes emitting from a tonsil stone will still cause bad breath symptoms and are very hard to get rid of as tonsil stones themselves are hard to get rid of until certain diet changes take effect.
In contrast, some people naturally have a pretty aroma like perfume because of the diet & environment they’re in as well. Certain foods and oils release perfume-like aromas in the body and external.
Cigarette and marijuana smells are big NOPES for me. Don't want to smell either stench, it makes my eyes water and I get extremely nauseous. It's almost impossible to get out, even with washing because it's permeated clothes, skin, hair, etc. Oh, and perfumes/colognes don't work either.
I'm glad I read in here! I knew about most of the things mentioned except for flossing. (Well, I knew about it, I just didn't know that it affected your breath like that!) Thank you to all who took time to give their thoughts on what makes for good hygenie. Higy- bother I will google that one.
Nevermind, it's spelled out in the thread name.
Thank you to all who took time to give their thoughts on what makes for good hygiene. (:
1) as I've mentioned in another thread previously, "hygiene" is not a universal concept, so if you have specific requirements beyond what the site requires you need to explicitly state it. 2) many people struggle with self-neglect, whether due to depression, anxiety, ADHD, trauma, low self-worth, etc. Having a reminder to take care of one's physical care tasks can be helpful beyond just the social implications. 3) and those social implications? Some people have more difficulty than others grasping and remembering social norms. 4) you don't know what is going on in someone's personal life outside of what they choose to share with you. There may be other barriers in place that keep them from maintaining self care routines that meet your standards.
And all of the people who fall into the above categories? They don't deserve to be shamed as it's not a moral failing. And all those people are if anything MORE likely to need cuddles and compassion, and seek such on a site like this because of the judgement they receive from the world already.
By all means, have hygienic standards so you can be comfortable and enjoy your cuddles - but there is absolutely zero reason to shame people for not having the same ones or for not meeting your unspoken expectations immediately.
New people join daily. Some of them have never cuddled, haven’t dated. They spend the day in a hot car and come straight to their session with a shirt that’s soaked with sweat. They smell themselves all the time and don’t notice it how bad it is. OTOH, I am straight out of the shower with clean hair, nice smelling body wash cleanser, etc. my apartment is clean. My sheets are washed. I think the fact is that a lot of people who are new to this are not aware or they think they’re fine because they took a shower eight hours ago. If you are not a Pro and see this thread as completely unnecessary, then you are not an empathetic person, you don’t seem to have the ability to understand how someone else feels. Even if it doesn’t apply to you, it does apply to other people. It does help those who joined this morning and had no idea of this need. I’m sorry to read your comments, honestly.
This is a Troll btw, straight out of the shower.
Hi everyone, I think another thing to add to help aid in fixing bad breath is using a metal tongue scraper. Floss before you brush too cuz why would you floss the bacteria back into your mouth after brushing?
To the Admirers we admire - you are mind readers! You have helped us by determining the facts of who is making these posts, and what their intentions are. Thanks! Reminder, reading the Forum threads are optional and there are so many others you could read instead.
@carrieanne - Yeah.. apparently it's trolling if their post doesn't apply to them.
If somebody posts something racist, transphobic, or any topic with their only intention is to just to stir the waters and cause a fight on here, that would be trolling.
I know one person who at one point would bathe but was never really clean. They were never properly shown how to bathe until I became their friend in school and told them they may date more if they showered better and they asked me lots of questions. Their parents were not the best at parenting. 😥
@carrieanne I wasn't going to reply but I can see you referred to me directly
"If you are not a Pro and see this thread as completely unnecessary, then you are not an empathetic person, you don’t seem to have the ability to understand how someone else feels. Even if it doesn’t apply to you, it does apply to other people. It does help those who joined this morning and had no idea of this need. I’m sorry to read your comments, honestly."
I find the irony in this comment of your post to be staggering, but I'm just going to leave it at that.
the bottom line is, the whole topic was never an actual question posed by the creator, it was a rhetorical one that I personally feel would rub some people the wrong way even though it didn't apply to me directly. I think this more than qualifies me for being empathetic. Cuddlefaery made the point I was getting at way better than I did. But I am 100% pro hygiene in life.....not just in the cuddle realm.
I see that most of these are about men. I've had a cuddle session where the pro was coming from work and was very earthy. Another one was wearing something that went from head to toe and felt scratchy like burlap. Yet with many you shouldn't ask what they are going to wear.
This is true on both sides.
Good point @Buck
Reported and reviewed. Removed second sentence. [Charlie_Bear]
I'm having trouble understanding why this post is bad because some people with hygiene problems might get offended. They are the ones who need to read it.
I'm not talking about stuff that is subjective such as not wanting to cuddle a smoker. Just basic hygiene stuff.
I believe requesting body hair removal is inappropriate and sexist.
Rinsing and gargling with warm salt water is effective in cleaning/refreshing mouth and gums if you prefer a mouthwash alternative. That's some of that old-school stuff that works.
@Mike403 Me too. Been puzzled the whole time but wishing to understand.
well Mike, I will say it is because of the way the topic was presented. It was started as a rhetorical question that went into a lecture that I would say could be considered condescending to some. And you answered your own question....BASIC HYGIENE STUFF. Exactly. I would say that 99.9% of the people on this forum know this. That's because it applies to everything else in life too. And the ones who may need to read it - well unfortunately some people put their best foot forward and still can't help it. Yes, I know people like this (not on this site) These are the people you hurt with topics like this and the ones I am showing empathy for. And again, I am 100% pro hygiene and support all pros and enthusiasts who stress this in their profiles.
Sometimes we seem to treat cuddling here like it is this special magical thing that operates in a vacuum outside the real world and has its own special complex rules that need to be applied, with new angles to explore and daily affirmations that must be had. As a result sometimes this forums come off as so preachy and pro-pro that you seem to forget the customers are the ones who drive the site. It is hard to listen to lectures that go on here about empathy and caring from people WHO CHARGE to cuddle. And again, I'm not saying the pros have no empathy and don't care or should be cuddling for free, I'm just flipping the script and showing the point of view from a cuddler who may desperately need to cuddle and can't afford it so they stay here just hoping one day to hit the lottery and find an enthusiast. I'm lucky enough to be able to afford cuddling, despite not cuddling as often as I would like. But how do you think THEY might feel reading the forums?
I'm sorry if people can't see where I am coming from, perhaps I do a poor job expressing my points. And If I am this passionate about it you can be rest assured it does come from past trauma. Lets just say I was not part of the cool kid cliques in school or even college....ever.
Might be time for me to just ditch the site. At this point I have enough pro contacts in my area, and an enthusiast is certainly not going to walk through that door anytime soon.
I think there is a way things can be discussed while remaining objective. Not everything is personal or needs to be read as such. I really appreciate the way @cuddlefaery laid it out. Though from what I have seen she is routinely well thought and spoken. Something to be emulated. I understand sensitivities, but we should be able to read and respond without imposing malice or ill intent on others contributions.
@MrAdmirer Even if you have some good points, you’re missing that you’re highjacking this thread to talk about yourself defensively, your issues with the forum, and a hypothetical newby enthusiast. The original question is and continues to be relevant, your issues with the forum are less so, at least in this thread.
@jplemmon removal of body hair is a personal choice and it is absolutely sexist to expect one gender to do it by rote, as @achetocuddle stated. It also has zero to do with hygiene other than most people do their hair removal routines at the same time as their other cleansing routines.
@Mike403 the topic itself is not a bad one.... It's how it is being presented by so many that is problematic. What is considered "clean" or hygienic is heavily culturally tied, for one thing, so people from different cultural backgrounds are going to have different ideas of what the baseline is. It is also an extremely personal choice, how one cares for one's body, and so dictating that unless someone uses certain products or does certain practices they are somehow morally lacking is a HUGE leap of judgement to make.
For instance, there are a lot of people who choose to not wear or are unable to wear deodorants. Even if they wash immediately before arriving, they are never going to smell quite the same as people who do use products which chemically interact with the body's biosphere and pH levels. If it's not something you are used to, regular daily human body odor can be a shock after all the sanitized and heavily fragranced armpits. But it's 100% normal, healthy human scent that we've somehow demonized as being "wrong".
Similarly, in the U.S. we equate super white teeth with "being clean" and therefore morally superior, while other countries place less value on the vanity factor. So someone having yellowed, crooked or missing teeth might immediately be judged as having "bad hygiene" here, even if they brushed their teeth daily and saw a dentist regularly.
For a long time there's been an association with dreadlocks and "dirty, smelly hair" because of racism, pure and simple. There's also the assumption that dreadlocks are neglectful, cannot be properly washed, and that anyone sporting them must subscribe to certain ideologies. They are viewed as "unprofessional" and many workplaces still will skip over people with dreadlocks when hiring or promoting, or force employees to remove them. This is true for most Black ethnically-tied natural hairstyles.
So I really urge people to fully examine why they view some things as "clean" and others as not, and whether or not their preference might be due to an outdated cultural bias. And beyond that, remember that while it is fine for you to have preferences for what you want to be in contact with for long periods of time, that has ZERO bearing on the morality or lack thereof of the other person's grooming choices.
I've worked with kids nearly my whole life, and because dance is so physical I've smelled them all that time. I'm super sensitive to scents, and don't get me wrong, I have my preferences....
But after knowing where so many of these kids come from, where they learn (or don't learn) their grooming habits, learning about all the different cultures and religious practices that impact personal hygiene choices - seeing people mocked or judged for "hygiene" has become a bit of a pet peeve.
Further, I'm acutely aware how much declining mental health can negatively impact one's grooming habits. During the depths of depression I can go from someone hyper aware of things like body odor and tooth cleanliness to going weeks forgetting to even step in front of a sink. Am I going to freshen up before seeing people? Absolutely. But that won't erase the weeks of self neglect, and I would hope people don't negatively judge me for it.
… Okay, so the no filter thing is getting filtered. Kinda sucked too much writing that.
Basically, @cuddlefaery 100%
@cuddlefaery well stated. may I add personal hygiene should be discussed with your cuddling partner, not in a worldwide forum.. I do understand why professional cuddlers. addresses basic hygiene in their profiles, and they should.
I don't judge anyone for anything beyond their control such as having bad teeth and not having the money to fix them.... but if they smell like they haven't showered in a year, that's a different issue.
@MrAdmirer i appreciate your commentary in the forums in general. I hope the spats don’t deter you.
I was on Reddit one time and was horrified to learn that some folks don't shower everyday. Some people don't think they smell or they go nose blind. If you're not showering everyday you're going to smell.
It's gauche to be bothered by how white and straight someone's teeth are. I think body hair requests are red-flaggish. I haven't flagged anything and have no interest in it, but I wonder if a moderator should comment and make sure members understand that trying to get your physical attraction needs/wants met here is so wrong. Even tho many subjects are brought up again and again apparently this is something that badly needed to be discussed again since body hair and hygiene are being confused.??
If I didn't already know the particulars about tonsil stones and proper brushing and flossing I would have been glad to find them out here. There are so many people here that can potentially teach me a lot if they are allowed to do so. I welcome it.
@CableStone Extremely well said.
I believe the rules of this site is that you have to be smelling clean when cuddling or the cuddler has the right to end the session.
@achetocuddle - Agreed. I'm only concerned with smell especially being in close proximity while cuddling. Anything else, I don't care. Like @unsocial_bee said, some people don't shower every day because they became immune to smelling themselves... but they do smell.
If there's some medical issue that causes you to have a certain odor, it's a good idea to mention that with your cuddler.