What is the general feeling about cuddling people of different age groups?
I'm a divorced older guy who craves human contact (I have none), is it creepy of me to want to cuddle with younger women?
I have 2 daughters 21 and 26, is it inappropriate to cuddle a woman around that age?
Just wondering because if so, I might as well abandon this site.
There doesn't seem to be many female cuddlers 30 and above.
Not creepy. I think it's the norm. I don't think any valid professional has any restrictions... Happy cuddling :-)
I would personally feel a little odd about cuddling someone too much younger, especially if I had a child their age. A paid cuddler here in Birmingham actually told me an old friend of her early twenties son booked an apt and when he showed up she realized who it was and was like hell to the no. If its something you feel self conscious or strange about then don't do it otherwise to each their own. I tend to have a preference for someone a little bit more mature, just my preference, though I realized age doesn't necessarily equal maturity.
There are different kinds of cuddling. It's platonic. There are parents who still "cuddle" with their adult children. Nothing wrong with being close in a platonic way. But I agree you should only do what you're comfortable with. But there's no reason to feel weird if you're OK with it. My opinion.
While I'm not sure it's "creepy" to want to cuddle younger women but as a cuddler I would question it. At 65 years old, what is your reason for wanting to cuddle a 20 year old?
@UKGuy - As long as you respect boundaries, it's not creepy. I don't find it creepy when men half my age want to cuddle with me, as long as they keep it platonic.
@Blueieris is older and I had a great time cuddling her. I'm not sure if I would feel the same level of comfort and confidence with someone half my age though. Part of that is because I would default into being in the nurturer/caregiver role. I'm not sure if I could get comfortable with the idea of someone so much younger being in the capacity of a caregiver for me and helping me to meet my emotional needs. Though the older I get the less choice I feel I may have in that.
@Scarlette - I don't especially want to cuddle with a 20-year old. I'm brand new to this site and don't even know why an age range was one of the questions. If this is platonic, why does it matter?
Not hating on the youngsters btw, I realize ageism can go both ways
I'm with @blueiris. As long as you are respectful. This is platonic and "therapy". Age shouldn't be an issue as much as just personality. A lot of the clients are older men, a lot of the pros are younger women. Seems inevitable...
@UKGuy I agree that age shouldn't necessarily matter with platonic cuddling. You're exact question was " is it creepy of me to want to cuddle with younger women?" You preferred age that you set is 20-50. Even the high end is considerably younger than you. I was just curious as to why. We all have our preferences, I suppose.
I think to me it is partly due to the person presents themselves. I have met some younger people that I would consider but others I wouldnt based on maturity level i get from the vibe they give off.
@ubergigglefritz - Why inevitable? Why do men want it (and are willing to pay for it) more than women?
@UKGuy, it is my understanding that women get more of their needs met in social interactions. As opposed to men who aren't supposed to touch anyone outside of sexual need. A lot of guys don't even hug their friends.
But I meant it's inevitable in that most male users are older (especially those with the funds to pay) and most female pros are younger.
@UKGuy She said inevitable in reference to the age gap between the paid cuddlers and the cuddle clients. Many of the paid cuddlers are younger, whereas many of the people paying to cuddle are men who tend to be a bit older. Women like cuddling too obviously as there are many on here, and there are plenty who don't charge to cuddle, however they also have an ability to be a bit more selective and don't have much market to pay to cuddle as many men on here are more than happy to cuddle them for free. Its just how it is. No reason really.
I have no problem cuddling people if all ages as long as it’s respectful and you aren’t expecting to be seen as their elder they need to listen to you as an authority figure . I’ve had a few potential clients elsewhere who were into age play ( not my thing , and it wasn’t platonic or nurturing )
I have had older clients that enjoy being with younger people because the wide range of conversations and such . ( my grandma says being around young people keeps her younger and more informed ) While others want people that they have much more in common with because of lived experience etc .
@ubergigglefritz - Just wanted to say that I am a woman who does not 'get more of their needs met in social interactions'. Although (obviously) all women have different experiences, I think it is false to assume that women can easily get their needs for touch and cuddles met by their friends/family.
I do not come from a touchy family. I can't even remember the last time I hugged by sister or mother. And I get a perfunctory hello and goodbye hug from friends occasionally and that is it!
Just felt compelled to share that. I consider myself a bit cuddle starved myself these days. Which is what brings me to the site. I have heard others in these forums talk about how easy they think it is for women to get their touch needs met. That is not entirely accurate. Men are not the only touch starved individuals in our society.
As for the issue of age difference, I know that I prefer to find cuddle friends who are within 10 years or so of my age. I have exchanged messages with younger people on here, and after a while I come to the conclusion that they do not have the kind of mellow energy and maturity (life experiences, conversational style/skills) that I know are going to make me feel at ease during a cuddling session. I am big on communication/conversation, and if that is lacking then I know that the entire experience is going to be less satisfying for me.
Everyone is different of course. Also, I would imagine that age differences are less of an issue with professional cuddlers - meaning they would accept clients from a broader age range. I could be wrong!
@sjspooner, I never said all women or even all of their needs met. Otherwise there would be no women on here at all. Or even that it was easy. Just that it is (in GENERAL) more socially acceptable for women to have platonic touch than men.
@UKGuy This is a good question, I myself would not have thought to ask it. The only thing that I can think to add to the comments already made is that you may have to pay for a professional. Maybe that is what you were already thinking, though it wasn't mentioned in the original comments. I myself have found the very young ones, such as 21-year olds, are choosier when it comes to accepting clients. In addition, it appears that you placed the age of 21 in the same category as 26. In my opinion, having a 21-year old cuddle buddy/professional is not the same as a 26-year old, for what it's worth. As a client myself, I wouldn't say anything against it. Like you said yourself, if most/all of the options are younger, then go for it.
@pmvines You make an interesting observation. I have cuddled younger ones, and I like taking the nuturer/caregiver role, even though I am paying for it. But I am also expressive with the professionals that I have hired, thanking them for voluntarily holding my hand while cuddling, for example.
@ubergigglefritz - OK. I hear you. Yes, I do think that (in theory) it is more socially acceptable for women to have platonic touch more so than the average guy - that does not mean it always happens in practice.
@ubergigglefritz : (Hey, I like this autofill with the usernames!) You hit the bullseye with your comment.
@calineur As do I, but I don't feel comfortable with feeling paternal toward someone I'm cuddling, and that is what would happen if I'm with someone too far out of my range.
@calineur, off topic, but have you ever practiced being the receiver during a cuddle and learning to let go of needing to be the caregiver? Just curious. Everyone needs to be held sometimes and not just to hold, right? :-)
@ubergigglefritz That is an interesting question, and one that has not come to my mind regarding the whole cuddling concept. The answer is no. And to preemptively answer another question that may arise, I don't know what that means, if it means anything at all. But I do recall at least two times having a really good cry. One was with a 21 y/o, the other was a 24 y/o, so I can't say whether the age meant anything.
As a professional, it is my job to be the giver, so if you inquired with me, I would at least ask if that's something you want to give a try O:-) If no, that's OK too, but I feel like it would be healthy to have some time to relax from the caregiver mode. I might check back in at a later session to see if you're ready and comfortable for some different experiences in that regard :-) Everyone is different, but it is a question to ask and think about...
@pmvines - There didn't seem to be much of an age difference between us because you're very mature for your age, and I'm very immature for mine.
Age does not matter, until you respect each other. That's the beauty of platonic cuddling, it helps you relax and attain peace.
@BlueIris - 'mature for your age', now there is a loaded statement if ever I hear one. That implies everyone should have an expected maturity level depending on how old they are. I totally reject that concept.
@ubergigglefritz - The concept of a 'giver' and 'receiver' in cuddling? That is also foreign to me. Surely cuddling is a mutual exchange, there is no giver or receiver, other than in monetary terms.
@UKGuy, of course there is a mutual exchange. But, for example, most guys don't take the opportunity to be the little spoon. Traditional cuddling has the guy as the holder and the woman being held, in virtually all positions.
I'm personally not hugely picky when it comes to age difference, not to say that I'd cuddle someone of literally any age but if a woman double my age (my age being 24) wanted to cuddle me then I'd genuinely probably be cool with that, but at the same time I respect that many people aren't as open to those kind of age differences when it comes to cuddling so I generally stick to 30ish and under when I go on the search page to find new cuddle buddies. I'm honestly of the philosophy that as long as you're both adults that age is literally just a number and it shouldn't change how well you get on with someone, it's how old you feel inside that counts not how old your body is