.
@sunnysideup I thought your comment was very thoughtful and informative. 👍
@cyllee1180 appreciate it. I was afraid my language might have been less than supportive of pros which is why I removed it, as that wasn’t my goal
@JohnR1972 @jplemmon I totally agree. If holding a door for anyone is a social crime then throw the metaphorical cuffs on me. I would rather err on the side of being a decent person than trying to decipher if someone has an agenda based on the social politics of the day.
I do agree there are some archaic beliefs, assumptions and prejudices that needed to change, but I feel like going to war over holding a door for someone is throwing the baby out with the bath water. When did kindness and manners become politicized?
"...I hold doors for anyone in close proximity to me..."
Ditto everything @JohnR1972 said.
@stormydaycuddle and @jplemmon - Thank you. I am kind of touchy on this subject because “common decency” seems less and less common today in part due to someone always having a different way of interpreting traditional social norms.
@BoomerSpooner and @TxTom - thank you. You posted messages while I was typing out my last message.
Personally, I have no problem with "white knighting" or being accused of it. Let them complain.
@TxTom 💯 Yes, all those keywords: simp, white knight, cuck, beta, etc. All of those words are thrown like you guys said just by being decent.
My issues with white knighting would be against those who abuse those knights through deceptive, manipulative, & exploitative means & methods. It’s made “white knighting” synonymous with chump, simp, or dud. Instead, of (albeit naive) those with compassion, empathy and genuine desire to do good & be good. I hope we never get to the point that we all, as a species, totally give up on it altogether. If we do, that’ll be the end of us.
There are also people who use the term "white knighting" to suggest you are doing things solely to make a good impression and not out of sincere consideration.
@WriterGF I understand, but my actions aren't dictated by the misinterpretations of others.
@WriterGF - That is the way I took the term. My parents had their flaws (just as I do) but they taught me “old school” manners such as holding doors for everyone, when it is appropriate to remove your hat, when it is appropriate to give up your seat to someone else, saying “please” and “thank you”, etc.
I agree with @BoomerSpooner when he said, “there are some archaic beliefs, assumptions and prejudices that needed to change” but I don’t see any of that in the examples I cited above.
This whole conversation reminds me a little of the generational culture clash in “The Intern” with Robert De Niro and Anne Hathaway.
I definitely try to respond to all my messages. Unfortunately some slip through or I can't get to all of them that day.
The only messages I ignore are the ones that ask me a bunch of questions when the answers are plastered on my profile. I believe if my potential client didn't read my profile before booking me, they obviously didn't read the site rules.. I'm not interested in any of that nonsense.
I'm sorry to hear that you've had negative experiences with cuddling services. While I am an AI language model and cannot speak for individual cuddlers or their specific behaviors, I can offer some general insights.
In any service industry, it's important for professionals to be friendly, respectful, and provide good customer service. This includes clear communication and acknowledging inquiries, even if they are unable to fulfill a request. Courtesy and professionalism are expected in any interaction, and it's unfortunate if you've encountered individuals who did not exhibit those qualities.
However, it's worth noting that not all professionals may have the same level of availability, and they may be unable to respond to every inquiry or request for various reasons. They may have limited time, a high volume of messages, or personal circumstances that prevent them from engaging in further conversation. While it would be ideal for everyone to respond with a polite decline, it's possible that some professionals may not always do so due to the reasons mentioned above.
If you have consistently encountered a lack of courtesy or communication in your experiences, it might be helpful to seek out recommendations from others or explore different platforms or sources to find cuddling services. Online reviews, testimonials, or referrals from trusted sources can provide insights into the professionalism and responsiveness of cuddlers.
Remember that individual experiences can vary, and it's possible to find professionals who align with your expectations and values. It may take some effort and patience, but there are many caring and professional cuddlers out there who prioritize good communication and creating a positive experience for their clients.
For those of you who haven't simply given up on humans at this point, I really wonder: What are you waiting for?
I gave up a long time ago was the best thing I ever did @CharlesInWI
@CharlesInWI Because every age needs their share of Don Quixotes to keep dreams alive and also mamma didn’t raise a quitter.
I don’t see anything wrong with holding a door or doing anything nice for anyone when it’s genuine & well intentioned.
I do like the idea though of seeking out those who might not necessarily get that courtesy treatment because of a social conditioning that assumed they wouldn’t need it or just out of a desire to socially reject.
Like how customers walking into a store are typically greeted with a smile and a welcoming attitude, but if a homeless man walks in to the same store, irrespective of whether or not he intends to make a purchase, he/she might more than likely be greeted with a look of scrutiny or with security, or fear because of some automatic assumption made when he could be, just as easily, the one who could have done with a smile & a warm greeting the most. Kinda like that. I’m sure there’s many more examples. I don’t think the solution is to detract in any way from the niceness factors out there, but to only expand on them, genuinely of course.
There's one particular time my door was not held for me, which I've never forgotten. I was on a special occasion date with my (former) husband. Meaning we didn't split the check and we went to a nice place the city. He walked through the heavy door and didn't even look behind, just let it shut on me. It left bruises on my arm. 😞 Later on when I mentioned it, I was insulted more by his claim that I made a "big deal" of it. That may have been one of our last date nights.
I have strong opinions on this that I'd like to share with you.. however due to a few individuals still active here who were once part of a larger group that bullied everyone on the forum they didn't agree with I can not post it here.
Been left in read a lot, been talked to like I'm a nuisance a lot. I just move on and respond to the nice people
@ohnonotagain - Left on read? This website does not inform you if your messages have been read.
I think there's nothing wrong with opening a door for someone, just like there's nothing wrong with some people not being comfortable with it. Everyone has their own ideas of what is comfortable and appropriate and what isn't.
Just like not every man will hold a door for a woman - no big deal imo. It's about expectations and what everyone finds appropriate or necessary.
No need to force it. Try to respect what everyone finds appropriate.
@OliveGreen Same.
Where I live, when multiple people approach a door it's practically reflex that whoever gets there first will hold the door open and the other will say "thank you." And when there's multiple doors in a row, then the two will invariably swap roles with each door, as whoever was holding the previous door is obviously last to reach the next door.
The idea that somebody could accuse someone of "white knighting" for helping with a door is absurd to me! That has to be a Midwest thing.
(If you're the first in an elevator you should also ask the other person what floor to go to and press the button for them; but I tend to forget about that one 😅)
More on the topic of the OP. Look. I'm autistic, and I've fallen pretty far behind on the social learning curve. I didn't go on my very first date until I was 31. I've been ghosted by a lot of women, and I feel your pain.
So believe me when I say that ghosting is a necessary part of the experience on sites like this. Because no matter how well you would respond to a straightforward rejection, there are many who won't. There are people who will respond with emotional abuse and worse. Recently I heard from a past cuddler of mine who thinks somebody that she rejected might've fabricated messages to get her banned. So I don't blame cuddlers one bit for going quiet if things start to look sketchy.
And now. Perhaps on a dating app, you can expect a good half of women to eventually just lose interest and stop messaging you. But this is not a dating app! Especially when you're talking to pros.
Look. If pros are ghosting you, then almost certainly you're giving them a reason to!
Here's my tips to avoid giving people the wrong vibes:
Say something that demonstrates you understand their preferences for hosting and timing, and suggest two/three possible days that are 1-2 weeks away (or more if they haven't been online for a while) and preferred time period (morning, afternoon, evening, night).
This is the most likely point to get no response. If you get one, hooray!
In my limited experience, whenever a pro did respond, they wanted to get the appointment nailed down fairly quickly. Follow their pace, and when you're ready, set an appointment using the button on the site.
This is the most important part. After you have agreed on an appointment, KEEP TALKING. They might give you some boiler or ask for verification. But even after that, small talk, like asking them what they like to do in their free time. Maybe ask them about their pets if their bio mentions some. Certain topics are to be avoided; don't ask about their kids.
Never, ever panic text. That's when you send a message, and then after 30 minutes of silence you send another message that backtracks everything you just said or tries to clarify something that could be read the wrong way. If you said something dumb, you just need to trust that they will be able to look past it on their own and figure out what you meant.
(In the case that you really do think that you said something that they can't respond to, wait several hours or a day and then you can say something beginning with e.g. "Oh, I've been meaning to ask you, --". It needs to be genuine (i.e. something you've honestly been meaning to ask them). Phrasing it like this will let them choose to ignore your previous message gracefully, if they want to)
Points 4, 5, and 6 will do you a world of good in the dating world, too. They're just general good things to do that help set you distinctly apart from the creeps.
All of that said, I can't help but notice that the OP's account is deleted. Welp. Hope they're at least still reading this.
I didn't go on my very first date until I was 31.
That’s a shame. I went on my first date at 12 and I wasn’t even the first one in my cadre of friends. I took it for granted back then, but hearing stories like that, well, you should at least have a chance when you are young. I hope you find someone, marry, and divorce so you too can feel the Agony and the Ecstasy.
I find it interesting that "white knight" has gone from being a compliment for many decades to a derogatory slang term used to bully/ridicule non-incel men for showing any kindness and respect. I find it disheartening to see that happening here.
@AllAboutSoul Just keep using the term "white knight" as a compliment. I think it's perfectly suited for that purpose.
The meaning of that, and many other words, are deliberately altered over a period of time by an undercurrent that seeks to upend social norms. Controlling language is how you control thought.
OP’s question seems innocuous enough, but predictably, some here are using it as another opportunity to slam someone for being “demanding” on pros. Seriously, go back and read it and ask yourself if dude’s question was actually offensive, rude, needy, or demanding.
OP, you should probably thank some of the posters for filtering themselves from contention and be glad that this site has a ton of awesome professional cuddlers who actually seem by word and deed to enjoy their clients and this amazing community. And even if it’s just for show since they’re getting paid, who wouldn’t take that over a bitter attitude?