Can Status not show on the profile if it has no selected value?

deefinedeefine
edited July 2023 in General

Today I heard that an unselected Status tends to be hiding a "married" status, for, you know, lots of reasons I guess, but really, what if we just don't want to set it because it can change so easily?

If it's unset, why show an empty value on the bio? Why show the line at all?

As far as I've seen, certain other specs just don't show at all if they have no value; it's like "doesn't apply". I don't see why Status should be forced to show no matter what.

  1. Should user profiles show Status if there's no selected value?27 votes
    1. Yes
      33.33%
    2. No
      66.67%

Comments

  • deefinedeefine

    Also, if you fill out the poll, I request that you explain why you chose your answer.

  • CuddleHugs01234CuddleHugs01234

    I think it does matter, and so I’d like to see it show no answer so I can be aware to ask about it. Otherwise I may not notice and not think about asking.

  • achetocuddleachetocuddle

    I chose no a little reluctantly. I really value privacy, including the privacy of others. And if someone doesn't have an SO it often doesn't make sense to list a status for the reason @deefine said. But for people wanting to potentially chat with as many people as possible, you'd best be explaining enough about yourself somewhere in your profile. Really no point in leaving that blank with no explanation and ever wondering why you are not garnering much interest, should that be the case.

    As far as whether the software should be set to not show that if the field is left blank, I don't much care. Far more important for us to hopefully correctly surmise why the member probably leaves things blank. Best to approach each profile as analytically as possible and question each absence of info, tho it may mean nothing.

    @CuddleHugs01234 makes a good point. Besides, if you are really here for right reason, how is holding back basic info gonna help you? It's possible since I don't have anything to hide that I may not see legitimate protective advantages.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    Someone’s status is of no real importance to me as a Pro Cuddler because i don’t need to know or try to guess the truth about anyone’s outside life.
    Seeing it there but blank almost creates unnecessary curiosity.
    If it has no value, it shouldn’t show, IMO.
    Maybe Pros need a different questionnaire than Enthusiasts, because their relationships with other Enthusiasts are sometimes different than with Pros.

  • deefinedeefine

    I'm just gonna leave mine "Single" forever because at this point I think I've gotten skipped or randomly blocked because it was blank.

    If I'm in a relationship and the person is OK with this, then it's not gonna matter what I put. If they're not, then I don't use the site. Simple as that.

  • achetocuddleachetocuddle

    Sounds like the way to go to me.

  • LadyVelLadyVel

    As far as I can tell... status doesn't even show on pro cuddlers' profiles so its just enthusiasts. 🤔

  • bekah_cuddlesbekah_cuddles

    Generally, the status is irrelevant for me since this is a platonic service. However, if someone is in a relationship - married or not - it does make me much more comfortable if their partner is at least aware of them being here. The last thing I want is an unaware spouse finding out their partner is hiding things from them, making incorrect assumptions about what we do, hunting me down, calling me a homewrecker, and threatening me.

    So from a personal safety perspective, I don't care what your relationship status is. Just be honest with your partner(s), please.

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972
    edited July 2023

    I believe status should either show for everyone or no one. It is a double standard to have it show for enthusiasts but not for pros. Every argument about safety could also be made about hiring a pro who is in a relationship and is hiding it from their SO.

    As has been pointed out in numerous threads, the VAST majority of pros on this site are women and the VAST majority of enthusiasts are men.

    As of 2022, only 7.2% of the U.S. population identify as LGBT so this would suggest the SO of a pro is much more likely to be a man and the SO of an enthusiast is much more likely to be a woman.
    https://www.statista.com/statistics/719674/american-adults-who-identify-as-homosexual-bisexual-or-transgender/

    Regarding safety concerns… men in the United States are 7 times more likely to commit murder than women.
    https://www.statista.com/statistics/251886/murder-offenders-in-the-us-by-gender/

    And men commit 77% of reported aggravated assault.
    https://ucr.fbi.gov/crime-in-the-u.s/2012/crime-in-the-u.s.-2012/tables/42tabledatadecoverviewpdf/table_42_arrests_by_sex_2012.xls

    Also, contrary to popular belief, men are actually more likely than women to be the victim of violent crime in the United States. In 2021, men in the United States were the victim of 178,000 more violent crimes than women.
    https://www.statista.com/statistics/423245/us-violent-crime-victims-by-gender/#statisticContainer

    I agree that DURING a cuddle a woman generally experiences a higher degree of risk than a man. But in terms of the risk posed by a jealous SO during or AFTER a cuddle, the data from the U.S. criminal justice system strongly suggests a male enthusiast is at higher risk of violence from the SO of a pro than a pro is from the SO of an enthusiast.

  • AllAboutSoulAllAboutSoul

    There are many cuddlers who won't cuddle anyone in a relationship, regardless of reason, so it does seem discriminatory to have it only listed for enthusiasts and not paid cuddlers.

  • pmvinespmvines

    Can we have a status selection that says totally killing it as a grumpy old man ?

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne
    edited July 2023

    It shows for Pros. It is often left blank. Otherwise says (maybe?) “In a relationship” or “married” or “single”
    I have seen profiles that don’t have the religion or status fields showing at all.

  • stormydaycuddlestormydaycuddle Mod

    Think of it in the reverse. People get jealous. Spouses might be in danger if a rando went off the rails. So I’d say whatever someone is comfortable with sharing about their personal life is what goes because there is no requirement or way to enforce it anyway.

    So I’m going with protection of the ability to remain anonymous in that aspect of life.
    People are wackadoodles married, unmarried, single with twelve cats (or three dogs… hem… nothing to see here)

  • Mike403Mike403

    I'm not sure why religion matters on a cuddle site unless you're worried that your cuddle partner is gonna try to convert you.

  • AllAboutSoulAllAboutSoul

    Religion can also be a huge part of the person's culture.

  • Mike403Mike403

    @AllAboutSoul - Yes, and it will be nice to know on a dating site. We're only here to cuddle.

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972

    @carrieanne - I just looked at 2 pro profiles and neither of them showed a field for “status”. A pro once told me when she signed up that she saw the field but it does not display to other members when someone visits her profile.

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972

    @Mike403 - I am NOT defending or justifying, just explaining why I think religion is a field on a platonic site. Many people may identify as / with a certain religion but would be open to cuddling with someone of a different religion or no religion. However, there are certain religious groups that tend to not get along well with certain other religious groups.

    MY SPECULATION is the religion field was made available in an attempt to minimize the chances of two potential cuddlers meeting for the first time and discovering they are from “incompatible” religions.

  • Mike403Mike403

    @JohnR1972 - I'm just giving my opinion. That is a topic that should not even be discussed. One of the forum rules states that religion and politics can't be discussed here, so they shouldn't be with your cuddle partner either IMO.

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972

    @Mike403 - Even if it is not discussed, wearing certain jewelry / clothing or having certain body art or the presence of certain paintings / books / symbols in the home of the host could all reveal a person’s religion.

    While that might not matter to most people, it would likely matter to someone from a religion that doesn’t historically get along with a certain other religion. I’ll leave it at that.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I have to agree with @JohnR1972 and @AllAboutSoul Religion can easily be seen in jewelry, tattoos and so on. Compatibility or tolerance would be important in those instances.

  • LadyVelLadyVel

    @carrieanne as @JohnR1972 said, every pro profile I have looked at, I haven't seen the status at all.
    It does not show on mine either but I know I have answered the question. 🤷‍♀️

  • warm_embracewarm_embrace
    edited July 2023

    I voted no because hugging and cuddling someone isn’t cheating in my book. I’ve cuddled married women and held them while they told me about their marriage and cried. Sometimes people need that. Cuddling can serve as an act of compassion. It’s the kind of thing friends do for each other.

    Now, would I date someone who is monogamously married; no. That’s totally different for me.

  • LadyVelLadyVel

    @warm_embrace I agree.

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