I'm wondering how other professionals handle keeping track of the time during sessions. I am looking for any ideas!
I would also love to hear from any men and their experiences. What has worked well and what hasn't.
Thank you so much in advance!
I set a timer on my phone as we are starting. That way I don't have to think about it or even glance at the clock. The phone tells us when the session is over. Then I like to take some time to check on how they are doing and give them a nice big hug.
Thank you @AshleyCuddles! I have been thinking about a timer on my phone but was worried about it being tacky. I'm glad to hear it works for you.
Could also do a playlist and have it timed for a certain amount of time. Once its over the cuddles over maybe? Also I think its wise to maybe plan to end likd 5 min ahead, so that you can spend the extra min wrapping up, kinda like a snooze alarm for the morning.
I think most people understand that you need to keep time and see this as preferable to clock watching. Although I'm not going to lie I wish my alarm was a very quiet one so it didn't shock us out of the cuddle.
Although...now that I said that it reminded me to change the alarm sound and volume. So thank you! Lol
The playlist is far less intrusive than an alarm. It's easy to keep in mind which one is the next to last piece of music.
Thanks guys! I was also thinking about a music playlist. I like that idea alot because of the less intrusive nature!
I personally would ask the client to keep time .
The music playlist I've used before and had Pros use too. I've also used watching a movie on TV as they tend to be 60, 90, 120, or 180 minutes long depending on the movie and start and end at set times. Even if the movie is on in the background I've still used it as a reference for a session without looking at a clock.
@calineur you are a trusting soul aren't you? Lol
Thanks @reurbo that is a good idea if the client is interested in a movie!
Ive always used a timer, I dont think anyone has had a problem with it. It has been easiest and most convenient. I like different music each time or hearing new music playlists that they choose so the timed playlist idea wouldn't work for me but I think its a neat idea!
It’s very rare that I see a pro set a timer, unless they are doing it someway that I don’t know. I think timers are highly annoying and most of the guys that I’ve talked to say the same thing. Of course I understand time keeping is a necessity. I think that those of you that find an alternative to a timer are very considerate.
My timers are set to crescendo some nature clip I picked. So birds start gradually chirping louder, it's not abrupt and takes a few minutes for either of us to notice.
@Brandi that's what I'm thinking too. I would prefer to have music that suits my cuddlers tastes.
@Morpheus that's the feeling I'm trying to avoid! Hmmm
@PlushyProzac I do like the idea of that.... and I do like setting an alert about 5-8 minutes before the end of the session so we can get some super cuddles in before time runs out.
@Brandi i'm always making new playlists just for daily and weekly uses for songs i want to listen to and many will show how long the overall playlist time runs. I figure if you have a specific song or 2 you like and you could put them as a song before the ending one and have the rest of the playlist change anytime you want. that is of course if you and the person you're cuddling up with have similar music tastes
How to be alerted to the time without disturbing to ruin the cuddle moment?... I've heard of a silent alarm that uses a wristband that slightly vibrates you, but that's almost the same as a cellphone vibrating on a dresser. Still, it's another idea that isn't a loud/audible alert to signify the end of the session
So many thoughts to think about lol I appreciate all of the ideas! @reurbo
I usually wear my Fitbit all the time so it’s nice that I can discreetly check the time as we are changing positions. or just set an alarm on it because the vibration is so quiet it’s not alarming like my phone would be.
I do like the idea of using music to time it or a gentle alarm like chirping birds that gradually gets louder.
Honestly most of the pros that I’ve seen don’t seem very concerned about the time or use a timer. Most have been very generous with their time. This is the most amazing feeling because it makes you feel that they really enjoy your company are are there for the cuddle and the money is secondary. The few that I’ve had use a timer and abruptly end the session once the timer goes off make you feel kinda crappy. It literally feels like this
cuddle cuddle hug hug snuggle hug GET OUT!!!
@Morpheus I can understand how that would feel, which is what I'm trying to avoid. However I don't think it's fair to be hard on people of they can't be generous with their time. I know for myself I already have a fulltime job that takes up a lot of time and energy so some days I won't be able to be overly generous with my time, which is why I'm asking about this.
@Sashamcgee Nothing wrong with timing your session. You are being paid for a certain amount of time, energy, giving of your body and personal space for an agreed upon amount of time. To me when people expect or suggest that somehow you are a better cuddler if you give extra time is just another form of boundary pushing and a lack for respect for the other person.
@pmvines thank you ? I totally agree, which is why I responded as I did.
@Sashamcgee If you are paying to cuddle respect the time, if you don't want a set amount of time don't pay to cuddle, find someone to cuddle as a friend. As a paid cuddler, don't let yourself feel pressured to go over it is entirely your prerogative. Some people may bring it up to make you feel obligated, or make you feel like you wont get business if you don't give extra time, but like I said, this is a form of boundary pushing and doesn't show respect for your time and attention.
@pmvines I appreciate that!
I’ve only seen three pros in two years. And two of them set timers and I have zero problem with that. It doesn’t matter if it’s loud, soft or music but I’m being provided a service for a set amount for a predetermined amount of time and the session has to end at some point anyway so it might as well be at the time agreed by both parties.
I’ve seen close to 30 pros at this point, I’ve lost track of the exact count. I literally only remember 2 of them using a timer. As I said, I understand the need for it but I appreciate the pros that have an alternate method to an obnoxious alarm going off. I am actually someone who hires pros and I do it often. With all do respect to @pmvines who has said many times that he doesn’t use pros.
You are correct, I don't. Not too sure what that has to do with my posts on this thread. We are talking about what sort ofbtimer would be least intrusive. Re extra time , of course if someone give it is their prerogative. But it should not be expected nor presented as something that should be done . That is boundary pushing and just because I cuddle as a friend and not a client doesn't make this any different.
@pmvines, rockstar comments, and I totally agree. People who ask/expect for more time don't make a lot of sense to me. I pay for my own personal wellness from many different caregivers, and not a single one gives extra time - I get the time I paid for, and if I'm late I lose time but still pay. A few of them are long-term friends, and I don't expect freebies from them professionally. Cuddlers aren't any different.
I don't use the playlist idea, though I did try it in my early days of cuddling. It didn't work well for multiple reasons, including the fact that I want to use music my clients like and the freedom to use their playlists. Now I just set an alarm and choose a light, pleasant melody and have had 0 issues. I get lost in the cuddle myself and find it impossible to try feeling out the time, so I like being reminded. I've also recently removed the clock from the room because I have some regulars who tend to clock-watch themselves, and I feel that intrudes on the cuddle vibe for them. Some request a 5 minute warning, and sometimes I choose to do that myself as I know it takes me a few minutes to pull out from the cuddle.
I say, try a few different methods and do what works best for you. Whatever allows you to relax and enjoy it the most is the best option, as then you will be providing best cuddles to your clients.
@PinkLipstick22 I appreciate you taking the time to give me your input! I agree completely!
The timer helps me manage the session, because I too will get lost in a cuddle. I value my time, that is whether I am being paid or not, and I do have other things to do outside of this. An agreed time was set and I try to stick as close to that as possible out of respect for both parties. If additional time happens it should be appreciated but not expected.
The timer is so I know when the official time and is up and I can start making a smoother transition to wrap up. If I have time or if it feels right that can mean anywhere between 5-30 mins extra so it’s not jarring. But sometimes right on the dot feels right to end. I just have to go with vibes.
I mainly use my Fitbit to time it because I like how subtle the alarm is or even just flicking my wrist during a position change to bring up the clock so I can gage the time. If I am hosting I have an alarm clock that I will use for it’s LED lights. It has different light settings so the room can be one color or technicolor for the duration of the time (I usually do the continuous color change but if someone has a preference that can be set), and as we get close to the end time it will gradually become a bright white as a wake up. Both are subtle enough that I am aware and can guide us to goodbye.