Wow! You guys are pretty dang awesome and supportive on this forum! I really appreciate the way pretty much everyone is understanding, respectful and kind, no matter what their opinion is. Thank you all so much!
I promise that I have lived more than enough years and experienced similar situations, many times over....so I didn't comment out of shock (or pearl clutching Haha). I think since I'm currently raising 3 teenage girls I tend to get more sensitive than I usually am....since I have to now teach them some realities of the world and how to be safe themselves. Teaching daughters these things really plays a gal think! LOL
@CuddleDuncan I am grateful for the time you took to explain the process out for me.... despite probably having done that already dozens of times. It's extremely helpful to know that for the future, but also made me (and others, I'm sure) feel heard and not simply dismissive of the concerns I brought up. ☺️
@stormydaycuddle Thank you for the warm welcome....that was so kind of you! 😍 And I will make certain to keep an eye out for your next witch burning too! Sounds like a fun time! 😜 @Mike403 I also appreciate your comments and that you were helping empathize with those who said something... That's extremely supportive of you. @BonnieT Girl! You should definitely start teaching classes or something....sounds like you've got some skills 😉
Thanks again all....and the mods too, as it seems like quite a large job you guys are dealing with.....and apparently crushing it too! 😉
That's awesome @INurturePeace !Glad to hear.
You're definitely not alone. Vetting people is probably the most tiring part of all this. I had a really great run for awhile with some amazing and sweet clients..I thought I had perfected my profile to keep ones wanting something else out of my DM. Then boom probably 7 in a row that while they aren't being obvious with what they are wanting. The wording didn't sit right and when I would ask if they've had professional platonic cuddling before they would disappear because they knew I wasn't going to go in another direction.
Here are my quick ways to vet people.:
Asking if they have ever had a professional platonic cuddling session before. If they say yes but have no karma, I'll ask why they don't have any karma.
These two questions alone can make them stop talking to me.
If they get through those two and I'm still on the fence about their energy. I'll ask what would a perfect cuddling session look like for them and how would they hope to feel when they left.
They usually answer this in a couple ways.. One is super chill and sweet that makes me so excited to cuddle with them. And the other is leaning in the creepy realm. I.e looking for a release, wanting to feel a woman's body or things like that.
And if I'm still not sure after that, I'll reiterate that this is 100% non sexual and I will report if it's not. Some will then ghost or they will get super offended that I even said it.
If that's the case, it clears out people who aren't understanding of how much women need to be safe on here and or just the ones that still want to push lines.
Hope this helps! Feel free to reach out to me if you ever see I saw the person! We have to keep each other safe.
Hugs.
@Hugginghealer I am a newbie and truly appreciate the advice you posted above.
Since I'm new and super cautious about everything because I've heard some stories. For the meantime, I am just going to do public meetups.
I had my first cuddle recently and I have to say he was very respectful and I enjoyed our time together. It wasn't public at a Starbucks which offered indoor and outdoor seating and we were able to hug, sit very close to each other, hold hands.
Correction It was in a public space*.
@Hugginghealer you should see my “welcome” letter. I’d be scared. Have only had one bad client this year.
@Hugginghealer I love the advice that you have given. Will definitely use it going forward with my vetting process. Still new to all of this and trying to set up things my way.
I met a cuddler who seems really nice from here. But he was all hour and bothered and wanted to play. It was not platonic.
As a pro I have experienced several kinds. Those who know and respect the rules those who will ask and when you remind them of the rules they behave. They test the waters.
You have some that think its a dating site.
You have some that think you need to talk to them for 3 months constantly before they book.
And then you have those (harsh words insert here) will get upset. I had 1 that I was about to drive to the session and we were talking on the phone and when I would not agree to what he wanted he tried to get me kicked off the site. He was banned after I discussed the situation and told them what he tried to get me to do. There are good ones out there and don't worry I am not that popular myself.
@bluerose8121 - Some people may be here for non-platonic intentions and will test the waters with different pros but settle for platonic when she rejects his advances. They should be reported at the very least so the mods can keep an eye out on them to see if he's doing it with other pros.
I haven't posted on here yet, so might as well.
I've been doing this for a few months and I've only done maybe 4 cuddles (I had to take July off, because I broke my foot). or so. I've had two of them admit to me they've gotten more than platonic, but they wouldn't do anything if I didn't want to. One was very invasive and it got very uncomfortable. I won't say anything else as I'm not ready to talk about it fully.
@Dark_Meadow Report that person here on the site, the mods will take care of them.
~ Sunset Snuggles
I hate that this needs this much discussion. I hope to never make anyone feel this way. I try my best to never present that way so much so though that i often feel I’m being less than authentic because of perception. I’ve been it situations that should have been platonic and ventured over the line, and that has made me feel self conscious. I’d especially feel away in this type of platform, when lines are gray those lines have to be thick.
Reported and reviewed. Removed comment. [Charlie_Bear]
@timeman
I think you cuddlers are in denial about reality when it comes to humans. Most healthy adults have sex drives men its mostly mental and you should know that. No healthy guy is going to cuddle up with some nice attractive lady and nowt want to relax. This whole cuddle thing is a stupid joke and you all saying report them well hell you be reporting over half your clients. A man cuddled up with a woman and get comfortable and relaxed is going to have sexual urges.
And they can keep their unwanted sexual urges to themselves. How hard is this to understand.
This whole cuddle thing is a stupid joke
Why TF are you even here? Troll.
@Rezz - I just flagged him. I'm done responding to trolls.
@Mike403 I did too. Thnx 🤗
@timeman and this is exactly why this conversation is happening.
I must not be healthy according to some unnamed poster.
If you can't appreciate platonic cuddling without any expectations of sex, then you are on the wrong site. There are other websites that will be a better fit for you.
Avoided responding to this thread, skimmed along the way, but don't remember everything thats been said. Apologies in advance if it's been said
You can have conversations about consent and boundaries and feel heard, meet up with a person multiple times and they can wait until you are in a vulnerable position to attempt to push boundaries. If along the way you see things that don't quite feel like red flags and more like "yellow flags", trust your gut and move on. If you're not sure, talk with a trusted friend.
Humans do have sex drives just like every animal otherwise we'd go extinct if we stopped reproducing. However we also have this thing called a brain which is a bit more evolved than primitive apes. Learn what consent is and don't touch anyone without explicit permission.
@cudbud64 - Some enthusiasts only cuddle in public which is probably smart IMO. Some guys can act like the nicest guy on the planet...until he isn't. I don't know how sexual assault makes them feel good about themselves. I can't wrap my head around it.
@mike403 I just don't feel comfortable with PDA, have yet to public cuddle. My location is always shared with a safe friend, which I let anyone I cuddle with know I share their details with.
@cudbud64 - Have you tried a movie theater? People are paying attention to the movie and not to you cuddling.
@Mike403 I get too distracted with something I haven't seen before lol I wouldn't be able to focus on the cuddle
@Rezz @Mike403 Yea... I'm giving him the ban hammer. Don't trust that one bit. Thanks for the breath of reason you two🤗
if you're going to advertise, please post in the pro cuddle requests forum [Shake49]
@Shake49 - Thanks for the taking out the trash. Forum comments are a good way to measure somebody's intentions and that was a massive red flag.
@Mike403 I like to think of it as people writing their own karma.
Alternatively, "sending in their application to Banned Camp."
[Removed]
It’s annoying when people make these arguments and when they assult people because it then makes us all look bad. Then, it’s soo much more difficult for the people wanting the legit therepy. The few spoiling it for the masses is the normal saying. but with guys mentality, i agree that it’s more like the majority being stupid and spoiling it for the few. It’s really hard to be honest and honorable in this day and age. Everyone thinks you are putting up an act because they think chivalry is dead. I would like to make one request....I am an individual, how about you judge me as such, and not for my color, gender, disabilities, CoO, sexuality, politics, or any of my preferrences. I really hate that trait in humans.; the sense of superiority based on "insert random bushit". //Random word vomit
For everyone putting themseles out there and having to put up with the trash ideas of the world, in an attempt to help those of us that genuinely need it....... THANK YOU!!! for going against the current, for being the change you want to see in the world, for believing in yourself and your own ideals and having the conviction to stick with them when the going gets tough. I try to be a blessing to those around me, but moreso for the unsung heroes, because its traumatic being battered and abused by stupidity in the world, and you need support as much as we do.
//proofread and edited lol
Reported and reviewed. Removed the first part of the comment proposing a particular form of punishment of the violators. [Charlie_Bear]