I’m about to have my first cuddle session at my place it’s usually the other way around where I usually go to their place anyone got tips so I’m not so nervous
That is hard to overcome. Everyone's nervousness is personal. Personally I've held my breath as a way to regulate my anxiety since I was a kid. For some reason when I'm super anxious I start singing Greensleeves without realizing it. I've done that since I was 10. Weird tick. But it may work? Or another soothing song.
You've had a cuddle session before so you know how it works. Just copy the good stuff from when others hosted you.
Search reset vagus nerve on the Internet, if you don't already o ow about that. I press a particular spot in my ear and it calms my anxiety a bit.
Find a mirror. Stand up straight and look yourself in the eye. Say out loud in a strong clear, confident voice, "I'm God - bugger off." If the blasphemy bothers you make up your own alternative.
You've done all the parts of hosting a cuddle before, so the anxiety is 90% bullshit and 10% good healthy anxiety you are supposed to have. You'll be fine. 🙂
I've heard mentioned elsewhere that you can stand in front of a mirror in the superman pose with your chest puffed up and hands set on your hips and tell yourself that your self in the mirror that they've got this!
There are a lot of threads that give a HUGE amount of info from different perspectives but I think one of the most important pieces of advice is to ask your cuddle buddy what would be most important to them. You could scurry around trying to make the perfect scenario but what is BEST?? Every cuddles is different so it has to be “what is best for this person?”
Here’s a recent one…
And good luck!! CONGRATS!
https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/comment/240861#Comment_240861
“I’ve suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened.” - Mark Twain
For many people, fear / anxiety is simply a misuse of their imagination. We have a tendency to focus on what could go wrong which is fine… up to a point. We may remember something like, “I have a cat and I don’t know if my guest is allergic to cats.” Or, “my apartment has designated parking spots and I need to tell my guest where to park.”
However, it is easy to let that imagination run wild and start worrying about things we really shouldn’t worry about. I’ve only hosted one cuddle partner and she is someone I knew well enough (and she knows me well enough) that I really didn’t have any anxiety about hosting her.
I concur with the advice above about standing in front of a mirror and practicing positive self talk and looking up reset vagus nerve. You got this 👍
The Great Life Philosopher, Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbes fame) said "nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction."
Don't be nervous. be a good host : clean the place, serve food, ensure safety protocol (person should have emergency contacts ready ), and set comfortable places to cuddle.
@cylee1180 getting everything set up except for food since there is a nice little pub around the corner from where I live that I was thinking about taking her there for lunch
Vigorius excercise, then a hot shower immediately before the session starts
When hosting, I always offer a brief tour of the place to orient the visitor as to bathrooms, exits, etc. I try to give them a sense, for example, that nobody else is home, that the closed doors lead to kids’ bedrooms and not murder dungeons (or whatever people’s fears might be.)
I also try to point out which spaces my cats spend more and less time in, as that has been highly relevant info for certain guests.
I don’t usually offer food to new guests. I’d be curious to hear what cuddlers (especially those who worry about their safety) prefer when visiting someone in their home (especially for first time visits).
🐒
@MonkeyNeedsAHug My murder dungeon is a complete mess. Lol I kid. That's very smart and kind of you though. Great practice to have
@alz480 i think I would ask before hand about taking her to eat. You may be hungry and she may show up not hungry. And she may just be looking for a private cuddle, not going out. Just an idea. Hope it goes great!
@CuddleHugs01234 I appreciate that I should have mention it’s going to be a six hour session and I just didn’t she would want to be cooped up for such a long period also it’s wasn’t going to be right away but rather closer to the half way point
@alz480 You sound like you will be fine I always say don't be nervous; it's just a cuddle (not to understate how wonderful a good cuddle is). I've learned a house that's only halfway clean works just fine. No one is expecting gleaming surfaces. Hosting can be a great advantage and a comfort because you are in familiar surroundings. I think admitting you are nervous about hosting can be a charming way to break the ice. And what @craM said about vigorous exercise and a shower right before is a really good idea.
It's interesting what @MonkeyNeedsAHug said about food. I don't think food is essential, but I am a foodie/food-oriented so things would be off for me if I did not offer food, especially since I prefer longish cuddles. I've had grapes before because I knew the person liked grapes but I left the package closed and showed it to him before we ate. He appreciated that. The easier thing is to have individually packaged stuff. That way the guest can be comfortable about eating what you might offer. But I like to have what I know the person likes. People enjoy it when they know you remembered what they like.