Men and cuddles

Unknown
edited August 2013 in Root
I didnt think men like to cuddle as much as us women. The vibe out there is that men are not emotional they dont need physical touch like a women does, meaning women feel comforted when they have a hug, they can feel secure. Sometimes that all it is, they just need to feel safe or comforted for a while.

Some ladies need touch to help calm them relax them not sexually. Just a hug to help them feel better it's hard to explain.

But the post im putting out there is, do men like cuddles? Do men need touch eg cuddles like us women?

Why is it all hushed when it comes to men and needing cuddles or touch like that? I know the world has a huge thing on men being masculine, and that means they can live alone in a desert somewhere (metaphorically). Im sure men can still be masculine and need hugs.

Are there men out there that need or want hugs?

Comments

  • SparticusSparticus
    Yes, men do need and want sensual touch as much as women, possibly even more... we need to do away with the assumption that is something only women, pets and babies need. You'd be surprised at how common it is for modern men like myself to feel chronically touch-deprived. 

    I can't speak for all men, but I feel its about being connected, we connect through physical expression. Doesn't matter if its a significant other or not, just to feel the sensation of another's skin and the feel of them in your arms is happiness. For lack of sex a man can masturbate all he wants, but it takes two to cuddle, and cuddling is about as safe as breathing. There is also the idea of fulfilling the masculine role of the lover, being depended on for comforting the woman, hugging away her fears and anxieties.

    The thing about cuddling is its a really carefree, laid back, fun activity both men and women need in their lives.

    That feel when no cuddle buddy. 
  • [Deleted User]sushimike (deleted user)
    I agree with Sparticus, men need to have touch as much as women. And a part of playing the masculine role can be that men have a certain amount of self control and being comforting to a woman. 

    And, I hope I don't sound cliche, but some of this has to do with the old "what's the difference between a 'man' and a 'boy'" Boys just want sex but men want intimacy. To say men are not emotional is way false, men have emotions but men also get taught to control their emotions a lot more for the sake of having to deal with other issues. Or at least that's how I've seen it in my life.
  • Unknown
    Question how many man out there like to have a women cuddle them, eg her arms wrapped around the guy?
    Do men like it when the women draws patterns on his back soft and slow?
    In relation to men and cuddles, as all men are different, what is some of the things you men like?
    Is cuddling a comfort?
  • Spencer1949Spencer1949
    One thing I like is to lay horizontal with my head on a woman's lap. Then tuck my head against her stomach and get as close as I can.   I'd like to have a woman draw patterns on my back. 
  • jacfalconjacfalcon
    This is a good question about men! Some men like touch, others do not, just like women. Everyone needs touch, but I think some men and women need it more.

    The truth is, it's kind of pointless (and sometimes even hurtful), to ask what men or women collectively like. Not only do people have varying levels of desire for touch, but they have very different desires and reasons.


    Personally, I love switching between holding my female friends and them holding me. It's a way of one person saying to the other "here, just for a time, let me take care of you and take all burdens and responsibilities from you, and you can rest here."


    I love when the girl cuddles me. The whole "men don't like being pursued" thing is garbage. Some do and some don't. I'm sick and tired of being part of a cultural stereotype of being unemotional when I'm more emotionally in tune and cry more than most of my female friends.
  • SparticusSparticus
    There are men who have all sorts of 'cuddle fetishes' including what you described, while others like myself are pretty vanilla, and some need not much contact at all, it its not something we can generalize. I myself like to be the dominant one when cuddling, twist and move her around, intertwine out bodies together, squeeze her tightly and spoon her from behind. It does feel nice when our cuddling partner touches us gently and playfully too.
  • knoxcuddlebuddyknoxcuddlebuddy
    I suppose I'm a "switch" with non-sexual cuddling.  I enjoy and feel strong with someone tucked up next to me.  I had a friend who loved that a while back.  This started entirely by accident and became something regular.  On the other hand, I love snuggling up and being enveloped, although I'm shy about enjoying that.  Somehow I'm supposed to be the strong one!  But being able to relax and simply be surrounded by another is amazing.  

    I'm normally supposed to be so tough and strong and hard working.  The release from being free to be safe with someone is remarkable.
  • Unknown
    Wow!!!
    I'm enjoying these posts guys. I wanted to brake down the 'sterotype' and get to the honest truth about what men feel, think and want to say about these sterotypes and to be able to talk about what they like.

    I like that men are honest. Thank you men who have shared, i appreciate the feedback.

    Men do you find if a girl like cuddles and hugging and doesnt want to move, is that being 'clingy'?

    Has any man ever gone weeks, months maybe years with no touch/ hugs that made u feel like your going batty?
  • SparticusSparticus
    Clinginess is more a personality characteristic. A girl having a high need for physical intimacy is a positive trait, its good to be with someone very affectionate.

    Yea, I'd think I'd be a lot less nuts if my touch needs were met, which they usually have not been.
  • knoxcuddlebuddyknoxcuddlebuddy
    I'll distinguish warm touch from cold touch.  Cold, abusive, or uncaring, or perhaps unconscious touch does weird stuff.  If it's the only touch that happens then it slips into that need for touch role and becomes part of the desire/need for touch.  I suspect that's some of where kinky or deviant needs for touch arise.  I don't have any problem with others needing what they need within limits, but I have to wonder where the different needs come from.  

    Clingy folks may have a disturbing attachment even without much contact.  Non-clingy people generally seem to be able to tell when they're being a bit too much and will back off without even thinking about it.  

    As to movement after a while, I find that necessary.  Maybe because I just have to move anyway.  I get uncomfortable in one place!
  • [Deleted User]DersEvvak (deleted user)
    Well, a lot of people have already chimed in, many more eloquently than I could, but I'll add my two cents.

    I am a male, and yes, cuddling is VERY important to me, and something I enjoy greatly. It can just be something innocent, or it can be a sensual experience. Answering your last question, long-lasting hugs are definitely not a problem, although it can eventually get a little uncomfortable standing for a long period of time while essentially supporting the weight of two people - better to do that sitting or laying down.

    And, if I can throw in a random observation: I think guys hug better. :)
  • BruinBruin
    This fella likes cuddling. Standing, sitting,lying down. Not as a precursor to sex, just cuddles for the sake of cuddles. Time spent with somebody who has no agenda other than to share touch.
  • Unknown
    Do men crave cuddles and human touch?
  • [Deleted User]DersEvvak (deleted user)
    Yes, most definitely.
  • sock2sock2

    "Do men crave cuddles and human touch?"

    I do. Drives me crazy without anyone to give affection to and I happen to need it as well.

  • ProtisProtis
    Yes of course.  I know I do anyway.
  • primito13primito13
    The reason why I don't show my face on my profile (nobody would believe me)

    You see, all my life I've been attracted to males; ever since I was a little boy, I JUST wanted to hug other boys. I couldn't explain it, I just did. And I grew up with my cousin "Rob" (who was 5 years my senior) and I remember no sweeter feeling that being wrapped in his arms whenever we met. Of course, it was a fraternal, loving hug, but I clearly remember wanting to just stay there (with my head pressed against his chest) while he enveloped me in his arms. So much so, that my dad would pull me away, saying: "Enough! Men don't touch each other, but with a handshake" and it really hurt me, because I idolized my cousin, and I enjoyed being near him. 

    As I got older, I started noticing that my cousin was NOT the only boy taller than me who could hug me. But I knew, the only way I could justify any physical contact with another male, was during a good old fashioned fist fight. So I would purposely pick fights with the older boys at school (that way, I could feel them tower over me, and we could manhandle each other, even if "angry") but the truth was, I just wanted to feel wrapped in another boy's arms. 

    And although I am completely attracted to males, I refuse to partake in sodomy in any way. But that's a much too heavy price to pay in order to feel that physical male affection. Tall guys just melt me, and as I go on life (not being your stereotypical promiscuous gay man) I can't help feeling shivers down my spine whenever a very tall man talks while towering over me. And I must REALLY control myself whenever one of my brother's friends comes over. We'll call him "Andy" he's 6'4 (and I'm 5'6) so when I see him, he hugs me allright (as its just a greeting) but the way he squeezes me when he does? Whew! I want to just wrap my arms around his waist, and never let go =(
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