This not Tinder.

SurelySatisfiedSurelySatisfied
in General

I am new on site. I stumbled on it as a joke. I was teasing someone that I should be a “professional cuddler”, and to my surprise, there WAS!! The thing is, so far,, with few exceptions, I am meeting men who SAY they want to “cuddle”, but then ask questions like “what if we have a sexual connection, what will we do?”. They could be 30 years younger than me. I got off the dating sites because I am NOT looking for anything more than cuddling. I guess not much can be done to sift these individuals out, but is has been my experience. I went off site for a few weeks, then went back on. There were a few messages. Mind you, I took down my pic to lessen the “hits” I was getting. I met a perfectly nice guy the other night because of this site...my age...and I am very pleased. He contacted me sight unseen, which I gave him big points for. No cuddling yet, just plan on getting to know each other first. He politely asked my “rules”, and totally accepted and agreed to them. So, I guess I am just asking for others experiences. I think this site could provide a rich experience for getting to know people of all ages, ethnicities, different cultures. It is a great idea for whoever thought of this site!!

Comments

  • BrandiBrandi

    Welcome! Yeah you will find a good amount of negative nancies on here but there really are a good amount of great well respected cuddlers. Just report the ones that are asking for sexual stuff, they monitorators @mark & @reurbo are very on top of them :)

  • BlueIrisBlueIris Mod

    Whatever site you go on, if there are men there, there will always be some looking for sexual contact. It's not a big deal, especially if they're so obvious about it. No point in getting upset about it. Just report them and move on. They can't be sifted out if site users don't report them.

    I've been on here six months. I was surprised at the amount of men in their 20s who contacted me. Some are looking for an older woman to "teach them something." Some are sincerely looking for a cuddle buddy only. I've cuddled a few 20 year olds, and they were mature and fun to be with. The number of men in their 20s who contact me has dropped off to almost none since I became a professional cuddler. The young guys are usually broke college students and don't have money for pro cuddler fees.

    I'm less surprised that extremely few men over 50 have contacted me. Just another fact of life. Many men prefer younger women, even for platonic cuddling. Ironically, they then complain about age discrimination when they get rejected by the younger women.

    If you can develop a thick skin and shrug off what doesn't matter, you'll have a great time here! I am!! I've cuddled way more men in the last six months than I ever dated in my life! Have met a lot of really wonderful people, both men and other pro cuddlers. I've developed friendships with many who have contacted me from out of state and even overseas. Ultimately, I've met and cuddled a lot of my long distance, out-of-state friends. My social life has improved immensely since I signed on here. I'm a lot happier than I was before I signed on. Can't say that for any of the dating sites I was on. Welcome to CuddleComfort!

  • andy8502andy8502

    Age and/or appearance matters not, just an understanding of cuddles as a form of therapy and the rules of engagement as it were. I can’t really understand why men come here looking for more, the purpose and rules are very clear and unambiguous and everybody registered should respect that. There are plenty of sites out there for people to connect in other ways.

  • alexb2alexb2

    @SurelySatisfied your experience shows that you should allow potential cuddlers to speak their minds, to say exactly what they are looking for, just to weed out the ones looking for more than cudlding. It also shows how initial meets should be in a public place, so you can evaluate people in a safe environment.

  • pmvinespmvines

    I have said this before but its wise to not view this site through rose colored glasses. Even on a site like this there are wolves abound so don't get it twisted. I have found this site to be very self governing in the sense of warning others and calling out certain people and behaviors and admin is good at taking appropriate action. So the tinder users and hook up artists don't tend to last too long.

  • SurelySatisfiedSurelySatisfied

    Thank you all for your warm welcomes, and insight to the site. I AM enjoying it, and to be part of the forums is a bonus.

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    What’s tinder? Sounds like something from the 90s

  • AshleyCuddlesAshleyCuddles

    It's a dating app. Also not usually great in terms of quality of the people dating there as it has a stigma for hookups

  • JasonCuddlesJasonCuddles

    It sounds pretty nifty though. Using location based matching is a pretty clever use of technology. One day I want to install it and check it out, but I've been saying that for like a year. I just can't be bothered I guess.

  • SideonSideon

    Platonic + cuddling ≠ dating site. I don't know why some folks find this so difficult to understand. Other repeat offenses and expectations: no one is obligated to respond to your messages, and no one needs to explain themselves.

  • SurelySatisfiedSurelySatisfied

    So, even this new prospective “cuddle buddy” has texted me that he should have “kissed me” after our meeting at a diner, and that he is a “good kisser”. I don’t know what to think about it, since he asked me what the “rules” were and I CLEARLY spelled them out. He says he really likesme, and I really like him. But, that is not why I am on this site. Not what I am looking for. The thing is, I liked him a lot. He would be a perfect “cuddle buddy”. Big sigh.

  • BlueIrisBlueIris Mod

    @SurelySatisfied - He said he should have kissed you, even though you clearly told him the rules, which say no kissing. So he is not respecting your boundaries already. I would say that's just a preview of things to come. Still liking him?

  • SurelySatisfiedSurelySatisfied

    Thank you, BlueIris, you are right. I am used to men not respecting boundaries my entire life. Most women have some experience with this. The way you are framing this and the questions you ask, make it crystal clear. Yes, most likely a “preview”. You know, it IS disappointing. At 61, I would think I would be used to it. Thanks agsinX ?

  • BlueIrisBlueIris Mod

    @SurelySatisfied - Yes, it is disappointing. But if it starts out already with him more concerned about what he wants and not at all concerned about what you told him you did not want, I don't see things getting better. Women often hope things will change, then get unhappy when they don't. Better to figure it out sooner than later.

  • SurelySatisfiedSurelySatisfied

    BlueIris, I texted him when he wrote me about the “kissing”, “I guess the “rules” are out the window?”. No response since that. Oh, well. I think that says it all. Oh, to find a true cuddler...I will not lose hope.

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