@carls87 I'm curious, what made you ask that question and what's your own take on the matter?
Interestingly, I find that people tend to find it fairly easy to open up to me, sometimes acquaintances, even complete or near complete strangers. Similarly with striking conversations, I rarely do it, though others tend to do with me. I suppose in part because I basically wear a natural smile all day every day, even if I might be having a tough day it tends to be my default.
I've thought further about that question and came up with this:
As for me, I think it tends to take rare and particular people for me to start opening up emotionally to some extent. I've not exactly figured out why that is, or what about them makes me more likely to open up to them. Though if I did, I probably wouldn't want to share it, and give people the blueprint into my heart on a silver platter lol.
So I don't think that for me it has so much to do with trust, at least that doesn't seem to be what is at the forefront of my mind in the early stages of me opening up to people. Although that may become the focus and determining factor for mid or later stages if I happen to get there with them.
I do however have a hypothesis that taking me out to eat rice, salmon with okra dish, some greens, all sorts of all you can eat fruits, a lime slice, mushrooms... ouuuu weeee!, with some premium water on the side will get 'you' halfway there. Or I just might look at you sideways and know that you're trying to take a made up and unproven hypothesis to get me to open up. I probably hate a lot of the food types I mentioned. So why you'd think that's a good idea to get me to open up is probably gonna be baffling to me, and get me to mistrust you. Thereby potentially leading to me changing my heart's passwords, and upgrading my security systems right after I'm done eating that d̶e̶l̶i̶c̶i̶o̶u̶s̶ meal.
Although they too may only know me so much, because some things aren't for them to know, at least indefinitely. There are some things I've only opened up to a certain degree recently so far to one former best friend, who at the time was turned like friend/acquaintance. Because h̶e̶ ̶a̶t̶e̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶l̶a̶s̶t̶ ̶c̶o̶o̶k̶i̶e̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶h̶a̶s̶ ̶y̶e̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶m̶e̶ ̶a̶n̶o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ reasons, and I've known him for like several years.
On the other hand there are things I didn't open up to him about, though carefully opened up about with someone with whom I was semi 'anonymous' and known for like a few months. There are also some things I couldn't open up with him about, and so on. Well maybe I could've gotten there with more time or not, who knows. So I think that sums it up and there are people who fall somewhere in between all that maze.
So I think opening up to and/or trusting people can be quite complex, at least to someone like myself. I also think, simply put, that there are different types, or levels of trust, that are likely updating throughout our relationships.
@CuddleHugs01234 I agree with you. But climbing back up after coming down isn’t easy.
@Bear Yes, I’ve the same policy. If I can’t connect, I can’t cuddle.
How much to open up depends on how I vibe with the person. Some connections are at an intellectual level while some others are more at a personal level.
iT REALLY DEPENDS ON HOW WELL I KNOW THE CUDDLER AND TRUST HER.
@cere Yep, and so sometimes no journey back up.
Test the waters to see if she's comfortable with personal stuff.
Don't confess any crimes.
Don't confess any intent to potentially overthrow the government (of any country).
😂
It all depends on the kind of person my cuddler is, the vibes are different for everyone
Depends on the vibe
@wilderdude
“Don't confess any crimes. Don't confess any intent to potentially overthrow the government (of any country).”
Great advice. I would add, don’t discuss the intricacies of off shore banking or methods of throwing blood hounds off your trail because those discussions sometimes become awkward (or so I hear) 😂
@JohnR1972 do elaborate 🤣
@wilderdude Lol, very entertaining.
@PrettyLuv - per the advice of my legal counsel, I am pleading the 5th. 🤣🤣
Lol @JohnR1972
@PeopleLikeUs I liked your comment. I have no filter so I'm not sure if that's the same as a moral/personal choice to be an open person. Its more like things come out of my mouth and that's that. I need to buy one of those filter things. Anybody know if they sell them at Home Depot?
I'm pretty sure candor isn't as good as transparency. Hugs.