Da*mit! And here I am all the way in CO @pmvines 😔
And yes! @Sooson, it's like chess....but I don't know how to play chess 🫠
@Sooson Maybe sir. But I'm more inclined to think I want to develop and look for the right qualities. With the right person, the margin for error is a lot wider vs trying to conform to someone that's pretty and hoping they pick me. With chess, it's all about experience and principles. With dating, the principles with one person won't work for the other. So I gave up on finding the right way of dating. They get my raw, unfiltered self - if they like it then it's cool and if not they can move on. lol
Btw - You played a good game. you're better and more technically sound than most players I've played. Most pple don't develop their middle and end game nor their defense.
@RedFox16
The dating pool now a days is contaminated lol. The end lol. Shheesshhhhh feel much better that I got that out..........
I don't date people based on shared interests or even shared values (though I do take values into account especially honesty, authenticity and kindness).. I date people based on whether my nervous system calms down and feels safe around them. I don't want to be excited. The world is too exciting as it is. No butterflies please. I want to calm tf down.
@coreybear That's a new POV. ty.
I used to date people based on their restaurant choice. Lol. I don’t know why but I would equate quality taste in cuisine with quality man lol. I don’t know if that’s high maintenance or not but it usually led to some really sweet dates - no pun.
@Minestrone101 Thank you. it's been a long time and I've been practicing with bots for a bit to get back in shape. I'm a bit reckless and still missing important details. you almost killed me , I feel like I'm back from the dead but maybe I'm speaking to soon LOL
@Sooson You're holding up okay. I think you'll improve really quickly w each game.
@PrettyLuv that's actually a really good way to screen dates. If you don't share the same interests in food, or at least have a fair amount of overlap, life will get boring quickly.
@Jubal exactly! ☺️
I actually think dating these days is so rough because everyone is trying to "do it right" and "make the system work" instead of being themselves and doing what makes them happy and comfortable 🤔 As several people have pointed out, the dating formula used to be pretty straightforward, it was in person, usually the dating pool was someone you saw irl regularly, you had plenty of time to interact before you started dating if you wanted to, and once you were locked in, that was pretty much it. It definitely had its flaws, but it was comparatively simple and it worked in one way or another for a lot of people. Now that formula is rarely applicable and people have tried to set up a new, less organic formula, and people are rightfully struggling!
In my view, a lot of what made the old formula work was that it was fairly easy to get to know people and see how they move in day to day life, while modern dating is encouraged to be two dimensional. There are acceptable ways to make a profile, and unacceptable ones, many of which are arbitrary and discourage unique personalities, and all of which are essentially designed to fit everyone into the same mould. Some of these things are important for safety of course, we are all strangers to each other and nobody wants to end up on the 6 o'clock news, but when you make finding love a for-profit industry it makes a lot of sense to make it a very inefficient one so people keep paying to try and make it work. It can be done, people have found love in the oddest places, but there's a reason dating these days sucks for most people, and it's not just because it's not in person. 🤷🏼
@avebae as you say your frontal lobe isn't fully developed (due to age) but after how astute your comment was I'd be a little scared to get into an argument with you when it does if now is any indication of then.
This is not a dating site. Although it is for human connection & healing through intimacy & cuddles 🥰
I agree with @RadiantHugs on Sadia Khan. She is truly gifted with her education, certifications and ability to communicate while connecting and deliver those messages.
Here is my fav two messages about dating.
https://www.facebook.com/reel/847746290135194?fs=e&s=TIeQ9V&mibextid=0NULKw
I heard an online live from Ace Metaphor, international, motivational speaker, poet & life coach.
Will a man change for a woman? ( I like his car truth vids the best)
https://fb.watch/ocQy-2Bz7o/?mibextid=v7YzmG
Do the internal work before being a broken full of excuses or 💩-E clearance bin offer in the dating pool. Own your 💩 and be upfront in what you seek. Action over pen pals.
Men, women and social constructed beings value honesty from the word go.
@roadrunner171
IMO- No one wants a project nor an adult that cannot learn and strive to recognize and be better to attract a quality person while not creating traumas nor harping about their own shortcomings which self sabotages dating & Trauma dumps 💩 on the possibility. Trauma dumps are not acceptable in dating. They reek of Wah 😩 I’ve been hurt, never dealt with it and I want to hurt others. Sharing your experiences and how you learn from them is beautiful. Also it’s not first date convo.
How do you readjust your skill set to navigate and move forward?
Your journeys and story are important but not always necessary to roll out and saturate yourself and everyone around you and this horrible depression state because you haven’t dealt with issues, reached out for therapy or recognize the patterns that you’re creating in your own dilemmas.
The boy/girl who cries wolf at every turn will not culminate the actual assist they need because they trained themselves to stay stagnant and poison other fields while negating the actual danger that is real and factual. Once they realize they need help & reach out to all & every bridge around them ; they burned those down and they’ve got to create new ones which is pretty exhausting but they’ve done that to themselves.
Most quit and half arse it. This is 99% of the energy out there to date. Best question…, would YOU want to date you ?
Hard pass here on dating. Yes I’ve tried dating for a while and omg 😳. Last date I had was a cop and he scammed my credit card & dropped his gun in my car. So yeah. It’s a nightmare out here. Be safe.
Desensitizing themselves to live in their own “awkward nightmare” social aspect of dating.
No expectations and no excuses. Time is short. Love is fleeting. Dating is hard in this expendable generation & time. How one leads, learns and loves while being able to laugh speaks volumes to me.
Be a human & adult worthy of love 💕 and do the roadmap work.
All IMO. Thanks for reading. Pm me with any questions or sass back. TIA
Wow @SunshineHug was that nice or was that nice. That’s honestly the first time I listened to Ace Metaphor. That link you put up of his is so powerful listening to it. He says some really interesting stuff.
Now I’m happy this thread is here.
Nice! @SunshineHug
@SunshineHug Nice one. Thanks for sharing.
For ever 5 connections I make (IRL or online dating) 3 ask for sex within the first 10 messages. No preamble, no date, no asking my thoughts on it, just straight up asking to have sex and nothing more. I cannot stress how disappointing it is.
I’ve put a pause on dating because if I don’t do it now, I’ll be too jaded to ever continue.
Disclaimer: There are parts mentioned in my comment in regards to MY sexual likes and dislikes...BUT!☝️ That is NOT why I joined this site, I am respectful (and compliant) of CC's rules and descriptions and it's sole purpose of its internet existence.😊 Not to mention, I am very grateful of all of my Cuddle Comfort experiences!😁
Ahem....
I don't "date", but I'm happy to go out on dates. And I'm even more happy to pay for ME whenever and wherever I go on said date.😊
To most, dating is basically what the "cool kids" call "friends with benefits"or a "sex buddy". Sorry, I am terrible with that kind of a situation!😫
Terrible Terrible TERRIBLE!😬😬😬
Because sex with my friends ruins the actual friendship for ME and I refuse to Iet that happen. 😌😊 I don't have many friends (I actually have more acquaintances then friends🙂), and the ones that I have I definitely want to keep and I want to keep them pleasantly platonic and nonsexual as possible. 😁
Now as far as sex goes, I'm good with having sex with said man only ONE TIME☝️ and he goes away, never to be seen or heard from again!😁 Yes! That works for me. Yes! Please go away and I will go away also.😊
I believe the other set of "cool kids" refer to those as "hook ups". Lol! Yeah, hook ups work best for ME!👍 Yeah, I'm one of the hookups "cool kids".😎
I'll not say "one-night stands" cuz there will be NO OVERNIGHT STAYS HERE...NOPE!😑 YA GOTTA GO! NO! Bye Dude. 👋
😄😄😄
I actually think dating these days is so rough because everyone is trying to "do it right" and "make the system work" instead of being themselves and doing what makes them happy and comfortable 🤔
THIS^^^^😁 I agree with this comment, very much. I have also realized that for most dating is about "impressing said dater" or only "showing the BEST side" of yourself until you finally get said dater in your clutches of dating BS...Lol!😆
I am guilty of having (worse yet ALLOWING) these falsifiable behaviors done to me and I'm also guilty of doing it to others...Ugh!😞🙄
Being yourself and being comfortable with yourself is the best way to be!👍
If said person you're (possibly) wanting to get romantically involved with isn't comfortable with YOU FULLY BEING YOU, to the point of a possible romantic relationship then don't go down that road with that person. You're not COMPATIBLE that, just remain platonic friends with them.😊
If I know that I'm not COMPATIBLE with a man, then I'm not gonna bother trying to pursue anything beyond platonic with him.😊 And no matter how much "charming charisma" said man attempts to "convince me otherwise" with his "nice guy routine" or even the whole "bad Dude a--hole" routine. 🙄 Which I find BOTH to be equally annoying now that I'm older, and can sniff such bs out better.🙄🤨
I'll still be standing firm on my stance of...WE'RE NOT COMPATIBLE! Lol! 😁
Because, we're not. Simple as that.🤷♀️
Lol! Frankly, that's why I don't "date" anymore, I'm good with cuddling, hooking up (which rarely happens as often as I'd like😜) and good with various alternative activities that I enjoy in my personal life.😊
But, "dating"...Ehh,forget it!😌😔
Going out on a date, sure I can definitely GO OUT ON A DATE!😄
Yes, going on a date (or dates) is not a problem for me.😊
So long as said man understands that going out on a date doesn't mean we're "dating".
Cuz that's not what it means.😏
@Katota i haven’t read what you wrote yet but I gotta say, anytime I see your posts I smile because they’re always filled with so many cute lil emojis that just make you want to smile lol. Thanks for that. 😉
@PrettyLuv LOL!😁 Why thank you, on another site others find my use of emojis annoying😏. But I'm an emotional person and it's the only way that I can express emotion by writing out my comments/responses. And I'd rather add emojis so whomever I'm coversing with can also read "the tone" of my writing as well the words themselves. 😊
But, thank you for the compliment. 🤩
Plus, a lot of misunderstanding happens a lot while reading online forum activity with others who choose not to use emojis (especially on my end🤦♀️🤦)...Which is their choice, I just have to figure said "writing tones" on my own.😄😋
I am an amazing friend but a terrible boyfriend, so I'd rather have a friend who loves me than an ex who hates me.
I’m friends with all my exes. I have no idea if that’s a bad thing or a good thing though lol.
@PrettyLuv it's a good thing. Why would being friends with somebody be a bad thing?
There are lots of people who can't ever be friends with exes, and that's ok. Sadly there is a subgroup of those people who loudly disparage those of us who can.
@CuddleDuncan Disparaging being friends with exes ? Interesting, why would somebody Disparage somebody being friends with somebody else. More friends the better. Not sure I'm understanding your comment
There are lots of people who can't ever be friends with exes, and that's ok.
👍👍👍
@CuddleDuncan Thank you, I am one of those "people" who can't be friends with exes. For me, it's best to make a clean break and don't look back.😊
@PrettyLuv Thank you. It’s hard to be so candid. I do rotate some online speakers, licensed and not to ensure I’m growing and 🤔 while learning.
Preferring an adult that’s been through some substantial learning challenges and can communicate and grow from them. It’s hard to find.
When I’m not looking it will find me. 😂
@SmokyQuartz i felt this in my soul. Sad but true. They refuse to make a valid connection but are hyper sexual and it’s a huge turnoff.
My bestie said they show themselves the door 🚪 rather quickly and cannot even open it. 😂
There are 24 hours in a day and plenty of ability for them to be a gentleman. 🤦♀️
@Minestrone101 🤗☺️ You are welcome.
If the dating thread 🧵 going to be pulled up on CC, let’s roll out some avenues of deep thought and possible small or large ripple of change.
Both my exes have me blocked LMAO. I'm definitely one of those people who can never be friends w their exes. Hurts my ego too much honestly🥲
@SunshineHug Dating and depth? Pehhhhh....
Yeah, I personally have not had too many amicable break ups. The few that weren't are not blocked, but also I don't see the point in keeping up with someone I outgrew (or vice versa) that I'm kinda attracted to that may tempt me back into the rough currents. We had our time - let's move on. I try to let the past be the past, and if lessons can be acquired along the way then all the better .
"Except for you Jenny Beckman. _______!"