@cuddlefaery there were a lot of questions there to unpack and a lot of ways of looking at that. Maybe since I talked to @JohnR1972 its clearer for me to see that it was a multilevel question, really deep and covering a lot of complexities. I didn’t take it so simply. There are a lot of moving parts so answers here have varied from discomfort, pain, shame to joy, relief, and enlightenment. There’s a wide range here and not all shifts in perspective are going to hit flawlessly. We’re all human. And I do think a lot of people shared perspectives about growing. It seems to me like boiling it down and telling people they should be immediately happy is taking out a human aspect. People feel. Denying that we do in favor of an advanced growth open mindset 24/7 instantly grateful attitude seems little like bottling up and ignoring a part of the growing experience. It’s taking out the part that makes us human question our emotions and grow more.
@stormydaycuddle - you nailed it. You said it better than I could have.
Off topic-ish/out of flow... But today I found myself explaining that when saying, "Everything happens for a reason", what I personally mean by that is that there are lessons to be learned in everything we go through. Especially those things that impact us to our core (which are often what thoroughly crush our sense of things/fully upset our state of being, to where change -whether we like it or not - is a guarenteed outcome. And it's really upon the looking back that our lessons become clear ~ and that's the 'reason(s)' for the happening.
@stormydaycuddle my intention with my comment was to speak on my own experiences, as others of done, not to dictate how people should or shouldn't feel. I even spoke to the harder emotions (namely grief and regret) attached to said growth as being completely normal, but that for me they tend to get overshadowed by the other ones. My intent was not to come across as toxic positivity, as that is absolutely something anathema to my own philosophies.
@cuddlefaery I'm sorry I misunderstood.
@quixotic_life I'm much the same way. I don't believe situations are fated, per se, but that all our previous choices and experiences lead us to where we are right now. If we're not growing, we're dying, so I try to experience the good and the bad as being equally valuable, and then see what I can learn from it. Sometimes the only thing learned is that I'm human, I make messy mistakes, and that's ok! Life can absolutely suck and still be meaningful - I long ago learned to appreciate the darkness, pain, and depression for they make the alternates that much brighter. I'm told that's resiliency, but I chalk it up to pure stubbornness at this point 😅