Cancellations

respectfulrespectful
edited March 2018 in Pro Cuddling

How do people feel about being cancelled on?

I know there are often good reasons (like a family emergency or being called into work unexpectedly), but it's still a bit hard to deal with for me. I guess I open up emotionally in anticipation of a cuddle, so it affects me more than a cancelled appointment with a doctor or someone else like that.

Comments

  • UKGuyUKGuy
    edited March 2018

    I hate it. No matter what reason is given there is always that lingering feeling that they just wanted to do something else more than whatever they were supposed to be doing with you. The more you are looking forward to something, the worse the sense of rejection is. I also hate cancelling anything myself and rarely ever do. If I say I'll be somewhere at a certain time, 99.9% of the time I will be. I find it annoying when people ask me to confirm, I mean I already said I'd be there! In fact, I usually get to places early and end up sitting in my car for 15 minutes. I'm very big on punctuality.

  • respectfulrespectful
    edited March 2018

    @UKGuy I'm aware of a part of me that can feel rejected, but that's not actually rational when there was a good reason for cancelling such as an emergency -- so I want to own that and not blame the other person.

    The last thing I want to do is to damage my "cuddling relationship" with the person, because I really do still want to cuddle them in the future! So I want to avoid blame here. But I still find it a bit hard to deal with.

    Edit: You sound like a lovely and considerate person to do those things. :)

  • BlueIrisBlueIris Mod

    Cancellations are disappointing, but they are a reality and are sometimes unavoidable. Best not to take it personally.

    @UKGuy - I'm a confirmer because so many thoughtless people don't confirm and don't show up. You never know what type of a person you're dealing with until they deal with you that way. I'm very punctual and dependable, like you. But when people contact me to confirm, I'm happy. It shows that they have every intention of being there. If I knew someone to be a person who was 100% dependable and punctual, I probably wouldn't confirm.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    I always feel a bit sad and lonely when I was supposed to see someone I was looking forward to seeing, and then I find myself spending the evening alone instead. I'm an introvert and a homebody, so making new plans with someone else isn't always as easy as it may be for others O:-)

  • mrmajesticmrmajestic

    Had someone cancel on me six times in two months and often an hour or two before the session was supposed to start.
    She's a pro. She never seemed to understand what the big deal was
    But it was such a downer.

  • respectfulrespectful
    edited March 2018

    @mrmajestic That's a lot of times! Wow.

    I'm wondering if there could be a generational thing sometimes where it's more normal for younger people to change plans often?

    If the reason for canceling seems to be "an opportunity came up to do this other thing that I prefer", that can feel bad though ...

  • poolmanpoolman

    For sessions which are more than an hour say 2 -4 with pro if client cancels within hour what cost?

  • respectfulrespectful
    edited March 2018

    @poolman Here's what it says in the Client Service Agreement:

    (11) If you cancel within 12 hours of the appointment we ask that you pay half of the session price. This is to compensate the Cuddler for lost business as it’s unlikely they would be able to find another client for that scheduled period at such short notice.

    And about a pro cancelling:

    (13) In the case of a Cuddler cancelling within 24 hours, they are expected to offer you compensation in the form of a discount for your next session with them.

    Though personally I don't think I would want to enforce that one, especially if the reason was something unavoidable.

    (But @poolman if you meant cutting a session short and leaving earlier than agreed, I'm not sure).

  • calineurcalineur

    Should this thread be in the Professional Cuddling forum?

    Some have cancelled on me, and I have cancelled on others. I guess I can’t complain then when it happens to me. But I am never less than polite about it, as one never knows what will happen in the future.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    I would never cancel unless sick, have a family emergency, or weather. Can't think of anything else...

  • cuddlybricuddlybri

    I avoid cancelling if I can. The only time I can think of is when I had a medical emergency.

    Of course no one likes to be cancelled on, but I understand that life happens and sometimes things need to be rescheduled. I just hope that if someone cancels they have enough respect to do it as far in advance as possible so I don’t waste time getting myself and my home ready for the session. Communication is just key here.

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    I cancelled on a pro once less than 12 hours before the session and when we had our next session, I paid her half of the session I cancelled on. She didn’t ask for it but I did it becaue I felt it was the right thing to do. I would be much more annoyed at a no show. Things do happen though and many people have valid excuses. I had a pro no show once, she told me during the next session that she was the victim of domestic violence the night before. She didn’t offer a discount but did stay an extra hour for free.

  • [Deleted User]holly743 (deleted user)

    Hi there everyone, I just had my first cancellation :( I have asked the client to pay the fee now I am waiting a reply, I do have a question for the site/ other pros here..." Do I have to still pay 15% to the website?"
    I mean I get 1/2 price after they take 15% of it??? :((

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited March 2018

    @holly743 No, you don't . I recall that being mentioned previously that you don't. And the request to have them pay part of it for cancelling isn't enforced either, so if they choose to not pay then there isn't any recourse really but you can always leave them bad karma. And its not my business or issue at hand, but I would just say to try to not be too harsh on the person, as there could very well be any number of reasons for them to have cancelled. I am sorry that happened to you. Good luck in the future

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    @holly743 I would think you would have to pay the site if he does pay you the cancellation portion. I don’t rememember that being said or not being said but @Mark would be the person to ask. Also if he breaks the CSA and does not pay you if he cancelled within 12 hours, he can be banned.

  • MarkMark Mod
    edited March 2018

    The contract doesn't currently cover that aspect of the 15% share so don't worry about it for now.

  • netrunnernetrunner Mod

    @respectful I haven't had any cancellations, but I've had a couple Pros that ghosted me. We'd be talking and confirm everything roughly a week beforehand and then nothing... no messages or anything as to what happened. The 2 I can think of neither have returned to the site and stopped using it the day before or the day of our planned session.
    For me I know it's something I look forward to and have to plan well a week or 3 in advance between all the rushing around... so to be left hanging after looking forward to cuddling up with someone can really hurt and more so when there is no explanation as to why.

  • quietman775quietman775

    @reurbo Yep. I recently had a new pro reach out to me. We started a nice conversation, traded half a dozen PMs back and forth. Just before we could pick a date, she deleted her account. Right in the middle of the conversation. Doesn't "hurt' really, just provokes an eye roll at the this point. Plenty of reliable pros out there :-)

  • maankamaanka

    I had a session scheduled with a pro cuddler and I booked a hotel to host as well. But a day before the session, I see the cuddler as deactivated. I lost my money on the hotel booking as it had a three days cancellation policy. Did anybody have a similar situation?

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    @maanka I'm sorry that happened to you :-( but did you try to find another pro who might have been available? There are a lot in the DC area. I'm 80 miles from you, might have been available. Who knows ;-)

  • [Deleted User]OzVisitor (deleted user)

    I’m coming in to this late so my apologies but I really wanted to say I agree fully with @UKGuy - in fact, I have a really strong (some may say extreme) view on punctuality. I see punctuality as a practical manifestation of one’s integrity.

    Integrity is about doing the things you say and being a person of your word. So if you say you will be somewhere at such and such a time then you do that thing !!

    Of course, situations happen and sometimes plans can’t work out - but that’s where communication comes in. No matter what, you don’t just let the time pass by without being there or having communicated in advance the problem

  • LoreleiLorelei

    I have never cancelled on a client; except in an emergency of some kind, if I say I’ll be there I will be there. I confirm sessions beforehand, too.

    However, I have been cancelled on multiple times, and not once has this: “(11) If you cancel within 12 hours of the appointment we ask that you pay half of the session price. This is to compensate the Cuddler for lost business as it’s unlikely they would be able to find another client for that scheduled period at such short notice.”

    ... been observed by the people who backed out. Not once. :/ So I do find cancellations very frustrating.

    If I’m going to go see you, and even more so, if you come to see me, I will plan my day around you. Making sure my home is as inviting as possible, lighting candles, peaceful music, all potential cuddle spots being pristine and comfy as possible, sometimes setting out treats, or water, or soda, tea, coffee... turning away friends / family who want to hang out, or other cuddle clients who want to schedule for the same day, or extra shifts at my nursing job, and I know I’m not the only one going to these lengths. So please. Be considerate.

  • AlexBabyBoo23AlexBabyBoo23

    @OzVisitor like when your cuddler drives around DC for 20 minutes looking for parking and keeps you waiting ;-) I'm so glad you gave me a chance despite my untimely arrival.

  • AlexBabyBoo23AlexBabyBoo23

    @Lorelei I have been in that position so many times with flakes. It's very frusterating. I've recently added requiring a deposit to hold the slot. That has worked so far - however I've been on and off the site with finals and other big exams this year. :-(

  • [Deleted User]OzVisitor (deleted user)

    @AlexBabyBoo23 ohh, now I feel my post comes across as mean and overly strict. It’s a personal value I strive to adhere to for myself. However in your case you did tell me you were in traffic and looking for a park and were in continual communication. That said, you are so worth waiting for and I wish I were on the east coast right now.

  • ArmsWideOpenArmsWideOpen

    I respect everyone's opinions and believe some excellent points have been made, & many that I both understand & empathize, honestly. I offer only my experience & personal opinion for reference, in comparison.

    I adore cuddling, and it is here (CC) that I have the majority of my physical interactions, so it is very important to me & I care deeply about many of those who I have come to know through Cuddle Comfort. This is the only Cuddling Site I use, and I do so as a Pro. The purpose is for part-time employment. It is my profession - therapeutic touch. I was a counselor for 7 years, but am now working only part-time. The reason I share this, is because I believe the Cancellation Policy is one that everyone is aware of when booking a session, so unless there is an agreed upon change or something discussed, why wouldn't it be the action taken if cancelling on someone, Client or Pro? Heck, my dentist office just charged me for my dental cleaning, because I neglected to cancel ahead of time. I have been cancelled on & ghosted many times, within an hour or minutes of a session start time. Personally, depending on the many circumstances surrounding the cancellation, I believe it ought to be both honored & enforced...at least, enforced in the sense that the Pro or Client is Suspended until they comply & honor the Policy. Now, I do wish to be clear on my wording, "...depending on the many circumstances surrounding the cancellation" is key for me. If a Client cancelled the morning of an 8 pm session, & there is an understandable reason for the cancellation, I thank them for notifying me & hope we can re-schedule, but considering it is nearly 12 hours notice, then it is not necessary to pay the cancellation cost.
    I have had clients offer to pay for 1/2 the session cost & have requested a modest $25 cancellation fee instead.
    When a Client cancels on me while I am driving to them, then, yes, my Clients offer the Cancellation Policy, and I accept. There is no way for me to book another session that evening, & gas used, and the $200+ lost wages --- but what I only count on for my bookkeeping is 1/2 the session, so when managing my money, I know $100 is minimum I would receive, if cancelled on.
    I'm sorry, I sound a bit ditsy, I suppose, & for that, I do apologize ;-) I just hoped to put another view in the picture. Bottom line, cancellations suck - I have never cancelled on someone within 24 hours, but rather days ahead, & only due to illness of myself or my family. I always wish to re-schedule, if possible.

    • side note: I am rarely on Forums, but am honored to say that I am in awe of our members. The writing is untouchable, with so much eloquence and fluency, and thoroughly enjoyable, and often, quite educational - absolutely love some of the comments - thank you for your time xo
  • ArmsWideOpenArmsWideOpen

    Oops, I just read that the Cancellation Policy is enforced by CC
    "...that breaks the Client Service Agreement they will be banned for not adhering to it, but they must be given a chance to do so..."

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