No: *Women in a relationship. *Atemting to upcharge after arriving. You know what I mean. *Have an anger issue with men. *Being stiff as a "2 by 4". It's called cuddling. Don't be afraid. There is intimacy involved. *Bad breath. Body odor. Unwashed hair.
Yes, women have showed up with all of the above. Remember, there is competition out there. Let's not waste each other's time.
If I forget my passport, my boundaries, in no particular order are:
Pacific (except HI & AK), Mexico, GoM (except PR & USVI), Atlantic, and Canada.
@CuddleHugs01234 Thank you. I like to compartmentalize areas of my life. I can't fall in love with or get attached to every person I dance with, cuddle with, or go on a first date with. I think healthy boundaries help keep each arena within its own arena.
I will say I follow what @CuddleDuncan advises to a tee and maybe add my own flare. There's nothing magnificent about being a gentleman or a feminist.
To each their own!
So far I’ve never had a bad experience but I think part of that is my boundaries about the women I have reached out to on this site.
Women can wear whatever they want in their profile pics as long as it meets site TOS (I don’t want to rehash another thread here). However, if I feel the photos are suggestive or there is even a hint of non-platonic intent in their profile, I am moving on to someone else.
Good hygiene is extremely important to me but so far that has never been an issue. Discretion is also important. I am willing to open up to a degree as we get to know each other but that is a gradual process and I don’t want to feel rushed. Hearing any PII about another of her cuddle partners would be a huge red but thankfully that has never been an issue either.
Poor communication is another red flag. I have cancelled a cuddle before over poor communication. It was with a pro who had accepted a booking request at a park about an hour from my home. However, it was a large state park with multiple entrances and for 3 days she would not return my DMs about where to meet within the park so I cancelled an hour before the scheduled cuddle.
Just because us guys find it a lot harder to cuddle women doesn’t mean that we will necessarily accept being treated like crap or abandon our values @Midnight01
Just because us guys find it a lot harder to cuddle women
Harder than what? Cuddling men?
@BoomerSpooner harder than women cuddling men (or even women cuddling women, possibly)
@sunnysideup Agree about the treatment and standards!
@sunnysideup I can tell from your profile you are one of the good men in todays society. Don't let the blow hards get to you.
I think what I hate the most about being a straight man is that my own gender is antagonistic to our shared emotional needs.
Doing stuff on their phone in the middle of cuddling. I paid $100 for this, don't go on your phone.
@sunnysideup Thank you for the clarification. It was unclear what you meant originally.
@4TheSnugs It understandable. Partners communicating sometimes with her safety contact has been my experiences. A former cuddler stopped using her phone after a couple sessions except as a timer. People are sure addicted to their phones though, I had massage therapists frequented their phones during sessions often and I could always tell the difference when the therapist lost focus during a session even though my face is buried in a face rest. One hand on my back, the other hand texting. I never used a phone giving a therapeutic massage or cuddling though; A new cuddler I would expect them to communicate with a safety contact during a session, cuz really its all they have for their safety. Just my opinion though, as long as silent with no bells or other sounds going off...
Are you getting inundated with women touching you in your thigh/bikini area, asking you detailed questions about your sex life and sexual preferences, wanting to be in a relationship with you, cuddling you too close, wanting to hold your hands, look into your eyes, asking you to remove articles of clothing and get skin to skin, asking and wanting consent “for each and every action” as you put it?? Needing physical “distance” while cuddling?? Are pros wanting extended interaction with you after a cuddle? I’m honestly not trying to pick a fight with you man, but this just sounds like you’re addressing issues I’m guessing may not exist and trying to prove how virtuous you are. I see this in your other posts too.
Are you getting inundated with women touching you in your thigh/bikini area, asking you detailed questions about your sex life and sexual preferences, wanting to be in a relationship with you, cuddling you too close, wanting to hold your hands, look into your eyes, asking you to remove articles of clothing and get skin to skin, asking and wanting consent “for each and every action” as you put it?? Needing physical “distance” while cuddling?? Are pros wanting extended interaction with you after a cuddle?
I’m honestly not trying to pick a fight with you man, but this just sounds like you’re addressing issues I’m guessing may not exist and trying to prove how virtuous you are. I see this in your other posts too.
I won't speak for @Minestrone101 or anyone else except myself, here. But yes, I have experienced some of the behaviors described here from female pro cuddlers. These things might be pre-cursors to offering "extra" services, though I can't say that for certain in every case. But sometimes I believe they were, if you'll pardon the pun, "feeling me out" to see how I might respond to certain actions or certain lines of questioning.
It hasn't happened much, but it has happened, and I've been required to restate my boundaries and comfort level.
I like to compartmentalize areas of my life. I can't fall in love with or get attached to every person I dance with, cuddle with, or go on a first date with. I think healthy boundaries help keep each arena within its own arena.
THIS!👍👍👍
@Minestrone101 Forgive me, I know that you made this for men cuddlers (as I am not a man😄) and I just want say that I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU ABOUT COMPARTMENTALIZING! 😁 Keeping certain areas as well as certain people (depending on WHERE I meet them and the circumstances of HOW I meet them) in my life separated works better for ME also. I read a comment where someone stated (or something to that effect):
"People fall in love with their hairdressers..."
Not I!🤚😑
Lol! Yeah, I'm there to "get my hair did" only!😁
I'm not going to a hair salon to "make a love connection"😒. Nope!😑
Said stylist does his or her hairstyling thing, I pay them a compliment about my hairstyle, pay them their money and get the hell outta dodge.🚗😄
Until it's time to make another hair styling appointment with them, of course.😊
Okay, that's the extent of my comment here...Thank you, Minestone for commenting about compartmentalizing as I do agree with doing that!😁👍
@Katota Compartmentalizing is super necessary. I hope those that disagree don't mean they'll have sex with anyone that decides to cross the boundaries. I mean pple are in a vulnerable position - it doesn't mean sex is the ultimate goal.
@Katota @lonelytauros @4cuddles That's a rbf! lol
@Minestrone101 Indeed it is!👍
@CelestialTouch That would be understandable. I had one recently that put a movie on her phone and would flip frequently to see what was happening on the movie or answer texts (the phone was plugged into a wall charger), and I thought that was pretty much a waste of $100. That one sort of gave me the impression that she was neurodivergent though.
@Minestrone101 Belly rubs are great though, especially skin to skin!
I tend to message only those who dress modestly on profiles. All of the cuddlers I actually met had modestly dressed profiles pics. If a cuddler appears to dress to seduce, I loose interest.
@CelestialTouch That's an interesting take. And im guessing that factor has led to relaxed hugs?
The one person I've cuddled with on here nearly put me in a dangerous situation.
From what I understand, she wanted to make her partner "jealous" and told her (boyfriend? husband? roommate?) that she was going out with me.
Meet up at a Starbucks, vibe seems fine, go back to her apartment, throw on a movie, seems normal. Guy busts in from wherever he was and threatens to beat me up.
Needless to say, not the best first experience - and I'm a little gun shy about trying again.
@HeatinWinter That's terrible and I hope you reported her. she put you or Amy cuddler in a potentially dangerous position.
That's the tricky part with those in relationships: you have to ask if their partner knows, if they're okay with it, and the whole gist of their using you to make them jealous was a huge red flag agst the spirit of platonic cuddling imo. Even putting a fwb in that position is equally bad imo.
@HeatinWinter Damn! That's just wrong, and so glad that you got away unscathed. Wow!😬😬😬
Reading that also, help me to REALLY APPRECIATE my being single too.😊
That's the tricky part with those in relationships: you have to ask if their partner knows, if they're okay with it
@Minestrone101 This is great advice👍, though I push it a little further by asking:
"Can I TALK with and/or MEET your partner for her (or HIM, sorry😌) verification on whether or not it's good with her (or him) to cuddle platonically with you?"
Cuz, ya know spouses/boyfriends can LIE about that kinda info too? 😊
@HeatinWinter Using this site to make someone jealous, that's just sick and wrong. Sorry that happened to you, dont give up, there's bound to be kindred spirits out there but have a good safety plan!
Hard pass on duck lips and one-two word responses.
A lot of common points were raised here in terms of hygiene, respect and communication. But I still cannot believe that I had one person (pro) making a move on me in the middle of the session though... I'd never anticipated it.