Well said @SunshineHug ! Thank you for sharing 😉
--And exactly what I think @Minestrone101, about staying friends with exes. It's not that I think having friends is a bad thing....I just have limited personal resources (like time, emotional availability, etc) that I need to save for the primary things in my life (kids, family , school, job, house chores, exercise/self care, etc) As well as all the previous friends I already struggle to keep up with.
--Why would I give away my valuable time and energy to someone who didn't value those things when we were dating? It's almost like letting an ex still have the benefits of a relationship with you....but without having responsibility to hold up their part of a relationship. 🤷🏻♀️ Which is usually why my relationships don't work out.
--I love having friends and meeting new ones....but not keeping someone as a friend who already showed they don't value a relationship with me. Yes, different types of relationships....but still sours everything because I already know they don't value my time and energy.
--i think the same as @Katota Once it's over, you move on. Doesn't mean we hate each other, or that things ended badly....but they did end.
I have an ex, and would have been willing to be a friend, but I have found that I'm healthiest when I'm not engaging with her.
@pmvines maybe it's more of a British thing, but there are people who loudly proclaim that "you can't be friends with exes" and announce that anybody who does is weird, or that it's a red flag, or something, I don't know why they do it.
I'm entirely with you, the more friends the better.
@Katota thank you.
Guys lets be real this is not a dating site but 99% of us are here because of our lack of success in the lady field , I doubt many of us are doing this simply because we prefer it than being with a woman in the traditional way
@mistic233 I 100% prefer single life with cuddling/dancing and no drama than relationships that take up my peace of mind and cpu. If I find someone that works w my life that's cool, if not I have those things and healthy outlets : chess, martial arts , cuddling, Latin dancing, or seeing friends/road tripping.
I find cuddling is a healthy outlet to connect or to get the touch quota met, but it's not a substitute for a social life imo. I think people should have healthy social and touch outlets all around in the kaleidoscope of their lives.
@mistic233 Some of the cuddlers I’ve seen are wanting to be single currently. I think there are many reasons for this, not just lack of success in the area. Different life circumstances.
@CuddleHugs01234 (raises hand ✋) As one such cuddle friend of yours who wishes to remain single, you are indeed correct. It is not due to a lack of success but rather driven by the desire to be single. I'm not missing out on anything by being single. For me personally I feel the opposite. I am happy with myself and my life choices. It's not because there is something wrong with me . I know I'm a catch. I'm just not biting.
@pmvines Indeed, exactly.
@CuddleDuncan @pmvines yeah I’m beginning to think the more friends the better. Some people have toxic relationships but not everyone’s like that and I find it easier to transition to friendship with the ones you once loved. I prefer that actually.
Guys lets be real this is not a dating site but 99% of us are here because of our lack of success in the lady field
@mistic233 I absolutely accept your basic point but not your percentage. It's not anything like as high as that and I'm not even sure it's a majority. For a start there are many people here who are married or in relationships. Many others, as discussed above, value the benefits of the single life.
It is also the case that Cuddling is not necessarily a substitute for anything else. Sure, some people use it in that way but it isn't for me and it isn't for a lot of other people here. In fact I find the all-too-common association between cuddling and sex to be weird and creepy. They are so wildly different that it never occurred to me that anybody would conflate them until I joined Cuddle Comfort.
@PrettyLuv Yes!
@ Jubal- Online dating is all about finding someone looking for a "hook up". I was in a relationship for 8 years and got back into the dating scene and it's A J-O-K-E!!! I got a lot of "Can you handle 10 inches?" or "Can we meet for breakfast? I'll pick you up at 2am in my Maserati after I leave work". Like women don't know a guy only wants ONE thing at 2am??
It's scary! I met a guy in 2017 and he seemed like the total package. I've always been SUPER careful with my heart, but for some reason I fell FAST... His profile said he was looking for a relationship (he was ACTUALLY just looking for "relations"). Turns out I wasn't his only girlfriend. There were AT LEAST 4 of us!! It's why there are FAR more guys online dating than there are women. You need to have thick skin and be willing to be honest with yourself so you can be honest with whomever you meet. Yes, that's only one guy, but talk to women who've been online dating and you're going to hear that A LOT!!
Dating in real life is a lot like it was AT FIRST. I personally prefer to go dutch the first time I meet someone. If we hit it off and he wants to pay for the next one, then can we alternate who pays AT LEAST until we decide whether or not to continue seeing each other? From that point, some women want the male to always pay and the guy expects to "score" on every date.
It just depends on the person, but males definitely have the odds stacked against them.. Consider all of this gender confusion stuff and I'd be lost! Just be honest and keep your expectations high, but your eyes WIDE open!!
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Speak for yourself, and not for others.😌
There are worst things to be than single!😏
@Katota 😂. Hey maybe I’m finally in the 1 % some peeps aim for !
I am an amazing friend but a terrible boyfriend
@pmvines Lol! I say something similar to this about myself, except it's seen as more of a turn off...Or some men take it in a weird, fetishizing way!😁
What I learned from being married, the first and last time (meaning my first marriage will also be my last marriage 😊) is..
I make a terrible wife, but a great mother.
I regret marrying under the sad guise of "wife before motherhood", as that was a driving point of my wanting to be married many years ago.😌
No I wasn't pregnant BEFORE the marriage, I became pregnant AFTER we married and I married him at 60% certainty too, not 100%. Lol! Heck, it wasn't even at 80% certainty, terrible decision that I made marrying for the wrong reasons. 😏
No more of that nonsense, I regret believing in it so strongly back then.😊😑
Dating in 2023 has been shit!!! And then you go on IG and see all these couples being lovey dovey and you can’t seem to understand what’s wrong with you??? Why can’t I find my Mr. Right?! Like why?! IG makes finding love look so easy and you can go right to Target and pick a man and bam you’ll be like these couples!!! Unfreaking believable…🫤🤨
@RedFox16 100 percent agree…it does!!!
I didnt come here to date, only for cuddle therapy, the therapeutic touch this site seems to promote but some use it for other purposes with fairly conspicuous code in their profiles. Im totally out of the loop when it comes to modern dating. While I didnt pick her up at a Target or do lovey dovey pics for social media lol; I think its important to be best friends first which can stand the test of time, which for me was several years before courtship somehow developed.
Given my peculiarities, I have resigned myself to an ultimately solitary life. I'll have relationships but long term exposure to my bombastic nature generally leads to exhaustion which after sustained levels leads to irritability. But that is fine, because in 2023, I learned to be content with being alone. I had several instances of bad dates or matches just trying to take advantage of me, and though tiring, I did find solace in finally being more selective. I felt like a jerk at first, but then I realized how much more fun dates were when I was looking for a certain personality though far fewer were had. It eventually clicked with me that a relationship should not be a goal, rather meeting a certain type of person is a more pragmatic ambition. Then I just focused on self improvement where I could and have been happy with my results thus far.
Just gotta stay positive. Realize that the world spins so fast that we can only be along for the ride and work on making today the best day it can be. This site has been a great place to recharge my platonic intimacy batteries which lets me be more productive in my day to day which then lets me improve faster.
@lesmis23 It's so good when you figure that out about yourself so soon. A happier life with less wheel-spinning? and more energy to put into something that will make you more content or perhaps make a positive impact for others. You word things so well.