What should I do to improve success with non-pros

[Deleted User]shevchenko277 (deleted user)
in General

Hi guys! Usually after exchanging a couple of messages with non-pros, they tend to stop replying back. I pay attention to their profile and try to get to know them without mentioning cuddling right off the bat. Is there something else I could do to improve, maybe with profile etc. Any help would be greatly appreciated, thank you !

Comments

  • pmvinespmvines

    Just luck of the draw really. You might not have luck with most of them but give it more time and you will.

  • [Deleted User]shevchenko277 (deleted user)

    Thanks for the advice @pmvines !

  • AshleyCuddlesAshleyCuddles

    I would say that the fact that you said that you are getting replies initially that you are starting out with everything right. Going back and forth with a few messages is better than most. My guess would be that you may have said something to put them off or bore them just by what you said. Maybe look back at the last few messages and see if something could have been misinterpreted? Good luck hun

  • SashamcgeeSashamcgee

    I think it's possible because you are younger, and assuming you're reaching out to younger people, it's quite possible they get scared when it becomes a real possibility of meeting. I know from experience almost every man I have met my age or younger doesn't actually understand platonic cuddling. So it's possible that they are worried it will end up as more than just cuddling. So even if you're doing everything right it could just be on them.

    Good luck!

  • [Deleted User]shevchenko277 (deleted user)

    Thank you for the help @AshleyCuddles ! I'll check to see if something I said may have been misinterpreted. You're right @Sashamcgee, I am interested in platonic cuddling but people my age seem to be a little hesitant. Thank you both for your advice !

  • SashamcgeeSashamcgee

    @shevchenko277 yeah unfortunately even if your intentions are pure there are quite a lot of people our age with very impure intentions and it ruins it for the rest of us! I think you just need to be very clear that you want a friendship and cuddling only. You bringing that up may help ease some of the anxiety or hesitancy.

  • [Deleted User]SJSpooner (deleted user)

    @shevchenko277 - I can echo what some others have said on this topic, and add that it really helps to temper your expectations a bit and cultivate patience when it comes to finding a compatible cuddle friend. While I am sure that some have immediate success at establishing communication with non pros and meeting up for great cuddle sessions within a matter of days - for a lot of us (myself included) it takes some time.

    It took me over 2 months from the time I first became a part of this community to enjoy my first platonic cuddle. This was after receiving 40+ messages from men, having some friendly message exchanges with 10-15 people, and even proceeding to phone chats with 3 or so. I have had men reach out to me, and after 2-3 (what I thought were) warm and friendly conversations suddenly gone POOF. Why? Who knows. I'll likely never find out. Could be they got cold feet. Maybe they had a family or work crisis and CC took a backseat. Perhaps they realized that I wasn't really their cup of tea and didn't have the kind of energy that meshed with theirs.

    I have also noticed that soon after exchanging messages with 3 or so men, that they suddenly and without warning deleted their profiles. I am left to believe that maybe they decided that platonic cuddling was just not for them. They flirted with the idea of it by reaching out to me and probably other women. and in the end decided they did not want to follow through. No reflection on me.

    What I am saying is that it helps to remain positive and enjoy the journey as you search for that cuddle connection. I have come to enjoy some of the forum threads, and have started friendly pen (emai) exchanges with a handful of non locals on here. I find myself thinking a lot and questioning and challenging my own views on friendship, intimacy, love, sex, communication. I find that rewarding!

    Best of luck to you and keep at it.

  • [Deleted User]shevchenko277 (deleted user)
    edited March 2018

    Hi @SJSpooner , I greatly appreciate your response. I will take your advice of remaining patient and lowering expectations. Thank you ! I had a great experience cuddling with pro and I hope that will be extended to non-pros as well.

  • [Deleted User]SJSpooner (deleted user)

    @shevchenko277 - In terms of expectations, I did not say to necessarily lower them - but perhaps to temper them.

    To me this extends more to the amount of time and effort that it is going to take to find a compatible cuddle friend. I have realized that I am going to spend more time emailing with and possibly being rejected by/not chosen by potential cuddlers than I am to actually physically engaging in cuddles.

    I did not mean that you should be expected to lower your expectations in terms of the qualities and age/appearance, interests and/or intelligence that you want this person to possess.

    Again - best of luck and enjoy your Sunday!

  • great_pillow08great_pillow08

    I see nothing wrong with your profile! It's just "hit or miss", I guess.. Just stick with it!

  • [Deleted User]shevchenko277 (deleted user)

    Thanks @SJSpooner and @great_pillow08 !

  • pmvinespmvines

    @shevchenko277 Sure no worries. I know it seems discouraging because we all want the instant gratification of immediate responses and connection but this isn't really that kind of site. Maybe try staying active on the forums. If you see something someone says that you relate to, message them about it. Find common interests. Treat it as you would a friendship you are trying to lift off the ground. Eventually even if they are not anywhere in your area, they may travel through or you may travel through, or you may even both decide to meet each other halfway and hang out for a day or two. But this kind of thing takes time and trust, and that is not instant.

  • [Deleted User]shevchenko277 (deleted user)

    You're right @pmvines ! I appreciate the response.

  • SashamcgeeSashamcgee

    @shevchenko277 @pmvines is a master of this hahahah take his advice!

  • pmvinespmvines

    Awe thank you lol @Sashamcgee !! Trust me though, for every person who gives me the time of day there are too many to keep up with who don't !

  • SashamcgeeSashamcgee

    @pmvines quality over quantity my friend ??

  • angela10angela10

    @shevchenko277 I don't see anything wrong with your profile either. The fact that you don't start off with asking women to cuddle is definitely on the right track. I have gotten many messages with men asking "Are you free to cuddle tonigh?" and there's no picture and no information about them. That is just creepy. Maybe I am just too selective but I am unable to cuddle anyone that I don't have a connection with.

  • [Deleted User]shevchenko277 (deleted user)

    Thanks @angela10

  • [Deleted User]snughugs (deleted user)

    It sounds like you're doing everything right! Sometimes people just get cold feet about actually meeting up. This is quite an unusual website - it's not like dating apps or typical forms of social media so lots of people change their mind about using it. Kudos to you for not going right in with to the cuddling and for paying attention to people's profiles. I've had many older men reach out and suggest cuddling in their opening message - it sends the wrong vibe.

  • [Deleted User]shevchenko277 (deleted user)

    Thanks for your response @snughugs !

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