Got scammed by a "Professional"

edited December 2023 in Pro Cuddling

On Thursday night I got scammed by a "professional" cuddler. I reported her to CC, but I have no idea how long they take to remove her or if they even really bother since they clearly don't want to do the right thing and be in the middle of the transactions and ensuring safety of both sides.

She had a couple 5-star reviews though nothing recent, and was rather non-committal in communications, never accepted or rejected the appointment request, but via text finally said she was on her way. She arrived about a half hour late. I paid her a combination of $100 cash and $200 on cash app off a credit card.

She wasn't dressed like any previous pro I've been with before, she came with a thong riding several inches above her pants, her sweatshirt not covering it and open a fair amount showing her shiny reflective bra. When doing our introductions, she said her other job was dominatrix and kept asking uncomfortable questions to figure out how much money I make. At one point I mentioned I had been planning on switching out of my jeans into something more comfortable, but I had been waiting to see what she was going to cuddle with, and she responded along the lines of maybe in a little bit I will take this off.

After about 20 minutes, she received a phone call and told me she had "borrowed her friend's car" and her friend needed it, and that she had to leave. I told her to transfer my money back and she said "I already withdrew it, they would charge me fees". I said okay, give me my cash back. The answer was "No, I never give money back" followed by "you make enough money" and "you have money over there" pointing to my wallet. She was insisting that she would come back an hour later but I was seeing through the scam, and she was pretending to be offended that I didn't trust her. She kept saying things like "I'm coming back, don't fall asleep before I get here" and "Don't make this weird". She also said she couldn't give my money back because CC would take $75 (I see they no longer take a percentage), and that I didn't pay for her gas or parking (she never asked me to, NV residents park free at that ramp anyways).

After midnight, I got a text saying "Awake?"... I responded "I am"... an hour later she still hadn't said anything else or responded, so I reported her to CC.

Another hour and a half later at 2am she sent "On my way", which I was in bed and didn't respond. Never saw any evidence that she showed up. She's probably looking for the excuse of "Well, I tried but he went to bed".

Seems like a very classic scam... who wants to call the cops over the matter of $300 and try to describe an incident that looks a lot like you paid an escort. Same thing with CashApp, they don't do refunds, but you can do a charge back from the credit card company.... but again, how does one describe it to them without making it sound worse than it is?

Since she never officially accepted, I can't actually leave her a negative review.

Cuddler was in Las Vegas

Edited for content. Removed the username but left the rest. [netrunner]

Comments

  • edited December 2023

    @DanMN200 Sorry for your experience. The mods may remove the cuddler name until the matter has been resolved.

    The first red flag I saw was that she never formally accepted the cuddle request. The second was her not being dressed properly. It’s okay to back out of a cuddle if you are getting bad vibes. These manipulative types will try to guilt you for it though.

    She sounds pretty manipulative and also sounds like she thinks of men as nothing more than walking wallets, really nasty behavior

  • Do a charge back from your CC company, and explain it just like you've explained it here. Especially if her CashApp account has gotten other chargebacks (or attempts), (1) you might get your money back; and/or (2) CashApp might cancel her account. At least you'll potentially be protecting the next guy.

    Sorry this happened to you, and I hope CC cancels her account. Unrequested advice: in the future, never provide your phone number until the cuddler accepts the account request, so at least you're connected via CC and could leave karma if nothing else.

  • Omigosh that's terrible. Always talk to a cuddler about boundaries and comfortable clothing. And always make sure they make an appointment with you.
    I think you should take the lack of communication as key here for future cuddle prospects. This is a job if you're a pro, and as the client should expect professional service, like being on time and in appropriate attire for snuggling.
    I hope nothing like this happens to you again, but if you have your concerns about a cuddler maybe it'd be a good idea to get another's opinion on your interaction with them to avoid such things in the future.
    I hope they flag her account, for your sake and others.

  • @Mihoshi I hope they flag her account as well. I provided them with copies of the text communications leading up to and after. They said it takes 24-48 hours and we are now almost a week later and they haven't so far. It definitely breaks the trust I have with this site, since everyone asks for payment up front.

    @WiserGuy3000 yeah, I want to file a charge back. The card initially flagged it as potential fraud so I said yes, but obviously its a different fraud than they are concerned about and they've been wanting me to call in... I just find it hard to describe this service without making everyone think its an escort service and being like wink wink nod nod when you explain its not. If CC do take action against her, it would be nice if they could provide something in writing for the reason of doing so that I could attach to a chargeback.

    I really wish CC would be more involved in transactions, I get no body likes them taking part of their fees, but having an official way to dispute would discourage that type of scam.... not to mention, Cashapp is considered a cash advance instead of a purchase.

  • Screenshots may get her paused, if not banned.
    3 dings
    1. She gave out contact info prior to accepting an appointment.
    2. She took money without giving The Site their cut. (They do have fees for pros.)
    3. She was in inappropriate attire.
    The Site probably won’t help you with the report as it wasn’t a scheduled cuddle.
    You’re also guilty for proceeding without a confirmed appointment.
    You’re also guilty for proceeding without her being in proper attire.
    She may have provided screenshots of your conversation.
    Maybe The Site determined their inaction from those.
    Contact the Mods, since they are human and maybe the ball got dropped accidentally.

  • edited December 2023

    @DanMN200

    Hmm there is a lot wrong here, and I don’t mean this to come off accusatory towards you since going off of your side of the story she certainly sounds like she is breaking the rules, but always be sure to use the booking panel and if the pro doesn’t accept, the session isn’t supposed to be happening. Using the booking panel creates an agreement between you and the pro and provides a record for the site in case there is a payment dispute like there is here. If a pro tries to set up a session without using the booking panel, report them.

    I really wish CC would be more involved in transactions, I get no body likes them taking part of their fees, but having an official way to dispute would discourage that type of scam....

    Just to reiterate, the site is involved when the booking panel is used. Her claiming the site was going to take their cut would be a lie since the booking panel was bypassed.

  • Old thread but wanted to comment a couple things for everyone’s information.

    1. CC absolutely does take a fee. That’s why she didn’t accept your proposal. The fee would be taken after the appointment only if it was accepted in the site system. CC has our bank info on file and auto withdraws the deposit when appointments are made within the site.
    2. Please don’t imply that a Pro using Cashapp is suspicious. It’s the highest privacy option, so some folks like me only accept Cashapp for deposits. PayPal makes you use an email address which could be tied to your irl information, Venmo won’t release deposits unless your real name is on your account, and Zelle requires a phone number. I know some have used burners but mine is attached to my real phone at this point, so I can’t use it. Cashapp has the best privacy features to keep everyone involved protected.

    Sorry this happened to you and hopefully this person has been banned.

  • @cocoabomb How was it implied using cashapp is suspicious? I never said such a thing, I said they don't have a dispute process and that trying to describe this service to a credit card company if you do a charge back sounds like you are doing something else.

  • @DanMN200
    I didn’t.
    Reread.
    You’re welcome.

  • Sorry, I somehow tagged the wrong person in my reply. It wasn't a reply to you @cocoabomb

  • I’m sorry this happened to you, Imo, it’s obvious someone like that doesn’t understand the anc intentions of CC.
    If as described, I would notice definite red flags Ex: asking for such a large amount of $$$ like that upfront seems sketchy.
    Just curious , why did you choose this particular Pro?
    Which other qualities besides her Karma?
    Vetting is really necessary from both sides - Client and Pro. I find the most important is to pay attention to visual cues, especially in their photos. You can gain a lot of information by how they present themselves and what they write in their profile.
    I hope you have better experiences in the future after reading everyone’s comments.
    And please give serious thought to the kind of person you are hoping to have a sincere, safe, authentic platonic cuddling session with.
    As we all know - unfortunately there are many here who don’t have legitimate intentions.

  • She charges $300? If that is for an hour that alone is absurd. Anybody that charges Psychiatry prices to cuddle is suspect to me.

  • edited January 2024

    @Kense cuddlers set their own rates, and between them use a bewildering array of factors to arrive at a conclusion. For example, some professionals set their rate at a level they believe to be unrealistically high, because at that particular time they don't really have time for cuddling. However, if somebody wants to pay a very high rate, they are willing to make time. Others simply have false expectations.

    In other words it is logically unsound to draw any conclusion from a rate. It's not evidence for anything.

  • I’m not speaking for anyone else but me and if somebody is charging $300 for an hour of cuddling it raises flags. I really don’t care what their reason may be. Higher Fee doesn’t = Safer Cuddle experience. There are psychopaths with money too.

  • It is true that rate does not correlate well with cuddle experience. On the contrary, anecdotal evidence suggests that if there is any connection - and it's not clear that there is - then lower rates are associated with slightly better cuddle experiences.

  • [Deleted User]MaverickLegend (deleted user)

    Just from my personal experiences, I’ve spent anywhere from $80-$120 for cuddling and honestly the lower priced cuddlers usually under $100 are much better then the higher priced ones

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