I demand a copy of a birth certificate and two pieces of mail with their name and address before I will send somebody an online message to introduce myself
@Mike403 it was implied that a background check is required since it was stated that " a video chat doesn't tell me if someone has a record". That is what prompted my response. People can ask or demand whatever they want knowing it may cost them business. I personally was never asked for ID, in some cases not even a picture. I don't mind a mild interrogation. fact, if they don't ask anything at all, I get suspicious. but imagine giving your ID and the next day the pro's profile is either banned or deleted. I had two in the past couple weeks that tried to drag me to other platforms. one is blocked, the other one is just being ignored, for now.
I would also slow the man bashing down a bit. there's plenty of corruption on the supply side as well.
@Sooson - Who's man bashing? I'm telling it as it is. Offering something that is against the rules isn't the same as being forced into it. The former is just a bannable offense. The later is an actual crime. Nobody is making you go to another platform or whatever. Just tell them no or better yet ignore/block them.
I periodically run background checks on myself, just to make sure I’m on the up and up and before a cuddle session, I’ll shine a flashlight on me and interrogate myself to make sure i’m going to show up and not cancel. Sometimes if I have it available, I have my cuddler do a lie detector test on me before we cuddle so that she can feel comfortable.
@lonelytauros we are proud of you dear sir. so who's winning on Sunday?
@Sooson idk why you think running a background check means having “low trust levels”. As women, we are constantly told to be responsible for our own safety and be careful, otherwise we were “asking for it” or being “careless” when someone assaults us.
This is a site that lets any random person make an account and book a pro to come to their home. Their real name isn’t listed anywhere, their photos could be fake, they could be on a sex offender list, etc.
It’s not “low trust level”, it’s realistic to not just take the word of every rando you meet online. As a pro, I have seen so many women post in the pro only forums detailing how they have been assaulted by new clients. It’s awful. I understand taking measures to avoid getting assaulted.
@Mike403 I am aware of the difference between offering and forcing, yes. i did not state the two are equal. also, as stated above, I already followed your advice before it was given. and why assume I refer to only non-platonic? there are other issues as well. take care
@pmvines What? LOL!😁 So you don't ask for their blood type too?😄
What about their IQ? See, I'm now refusing to cuddle with anyone who's IQ is lower than 5000000000000...Yep, super brainy 🧠 people makes for better cuddling.🫂
Read that in fortune cookie 🥠,I did!
😜🤪😝
Same old /same old from the same people. It’s that most commenters are nearly predictable. Sometime though, I want to read a shake up comment totally out of left field. It would be completely unexpected from that personality! I can’t help but love a little drama. But….. As always I especially appreciate @Mike403 @bobadevotee @BoomerSpooner for reasonable comments that aren’t about begging for sympathy and being defensive. Overall though, IMO the forum regulars here seem to be decent respectable honorable and safe cuddle partners. So it’s sort of preaching to the audience, but maybe along the way the newcomer lurkers will pick up some good advice. Meanwhile I’ve never asked for an ID from anyone, the cameras in the hallways & all common areas where I live are prominently displayed, and I always point them out to any new cuddlers! If I lived alone in a house, I wouldn’t be a Cuddler.
@lonelytauros you never fail to make me laugh 😂
@bobadevotee I was never asked for ID, so I assume it is not common. If someone is asking for an ID, considering the options out there, I will pass. Just as much as you suspect a potential client that is new to the site, I can suspect a new pro asking for ID. I don't "think" running a background check reflects lack of trust. it's a fact. And you actually admitted that. Go ahead ask for ID. I already stated in an earlier post that it is ok to ask for one and it is also ok to refuse to provide one. The selective reading here is really something else.
@CuddleHugs01234 glad to hear that @Sooson as far as Sunday is concerned since I’m from California, I like the 49ers, but I think that Mahomes and Kelce might be too much
@lonelytauros If Kyle Shanahan and CMC will win a ring together, I think history will be made. I'm not a football trivia expert by any means but I think it will be a first.
Not meaning to get off topic, but I'm gonna 😜
@Katota you made me laugh so hard! My teens told me there's a new term now tho...it's called zombie-ing that's exactly what you described! Someone "coming back to life" after they ghosted you 😂👻🧟
And @pmvines I still remember the hoops I had to jump through for you....including the probing (ouch!) 😜😂
@RedFox16 Hi
@lonelytauros I'm with @CuddleHugs01234. You always make me laugh.
@achetocuddle He knows how to make TN girls laugh. 🤣
@Sooson how did you know that's what I say?! 😜😎
@cj7353 What an awful first experience. This does highlight the importance of vetting on both sides. I’m sorry for your first impression to be tainted askew.
Safety for both myself and my clients are always important. How can each one be secure and vulnerable without trust and cuddle 🤗 foundation accountability?
There are many red flags in your experience stated and it kinda made me ill reading it.
Remember it’s not Amazon Prime whether you book a Pro or enthusiast in five minutes. These things can happen.
There are many whom ghost 👻 us Pros, waste our time, steal our happy healthy energies ect and it’s frustrating but it’s the red-tape of internet business.
Anyone remember the Poltergeist movies? Step into the light 💡 CarrieAnn. If a client cannot illuminate themselves and show true platonic intent and due diligence for cuddling. I won’t cuddle them.
I host in my home. If I cannot skip trace you or know your real govt issued name, not the barcode of your 🆔…,, no cuddles. 🥰 one client had seven issued names. 😳
there are way too many dark alley luring sparse accounts on here. They have multiple accounts and are always posting anti -Pro sentiment. Daily. It’s exhausting un refreshing to know they have such a bitter resentment to cuddling Pros. Any can join and be an enthusiast, client OR pro. But we’re ALL human. Or should be.
Yes discretion and privacy are paramount. But my safety and yours is where foundations lay.
Pros risk SA, stalking, harassment and worse if we give “benefit of doubt” so there is a standoff on how informative you’ll be and your selected Pro will accept.
Being a human commodity is dangerous AF. We all have safety measures. So many push back and quite honestly their reactions to these safety measures tell me everything.
So if a pro no matter how alluring, young, old, seasoned , new, karma’d , cost effective ect they are; please do your vetting and understand where we are coming from in kind.
If it feels off it usually is. In other words. I won’t go blindfolded into a dark alley following a voice I don’t know whom says they are OK and to trust them with my life, name, data ect and neither should you.
I encourage you to read the forums and take a good whiff. 😂
That sucks man. That’s why I’m a firm believer in last minute appointments. Can you come over now? Yes / no. Haha. Bless the pros that put up with me 🥹
@Mike403 you get it, thank you
I only ask for i.d. when someone specifically wants me to cuddle in their home. Hotels and my home have security and cameras that make me feel protected. Many cuddlers have outlined better than I could why it's important to prioritize safety as a pro on this site, I'm sorry I haven't tagged everyone who responded, I'm a little overwhelmed with forums like this, but thank you.
Regarding “background checks”, I think that term is thrown around rather loosely on this site. A true background check is more than Googling someone’s name or looking for their name on the sex offender registry.
My experience with background checks involves ordering checks on job candidates I wanted to hire when I was working for a Fortune 500 company.
I am NOT a lawyer and this is NOT legal advice. I have no idea if pro cuddlers are required to follow the same regulations as employers. However, I do know pro cuddling, by definition, IS A BUSINESS. I also know laws vary greatly from state to state regarding under what circumstances a business can deny service to customers . The link below is to a CNN story from a few years ago when a Washington DC restaurant kicked a Whitehouse official out of their establishment, not because of what she was doing at the time but because of who she was.
https://www.cnn.com/2018/06/29/us/when-businesses-can-deny-you-service-trnd/index.html
When I was running background checks several years ago, per EEOC regulations, I had to have WRITTEN CONSENT from the person in question before I could run a background check on them. I also had to run a background check on EVERYONE I was considering hiring. If I had hired one person without a background check but wanted to run a background check on someone else before making them an offer, I would have opened myself and my employer up to a massive lawsuit for discrimination. Under employment law, you have to treat everyone equally and have the same vetting process for everyone.
Again, I am NOT saying the same rules apply to the BUSINESS of cuddling but I believe it is only a matter of time until a shunned client files a discrimination lawsuit against a pro for “denial of service”.
As numerous people frequently remind everyone in the forums, this is NOT a dating site (where site members can exercise complete discretion regarding who they choose to meet). It is a site largely used to connect “clients” and “service providers”. A potential discrimination lawsuit has nothing to do with CC’s terms of service and everything to do with the laws of the jurisdiction in which a cuddler is offering services (this means traveling cuddlers really should be familiar with discrimination laws everywhere they go).
Can a pro LEGALLY decline to provide services to someone based on their age or relationship status? I don’t know. I’m not a pro so as the old saying goes, “Not my circus, not my monkeys”.
We are not running your Doj. We are ensuring our SAFETY and it is legal to search ML and court records.
But I can see if those whom are hiding DV or battery-assault cases would be perplexed by this and only want to rush order a pro or rush an enthusiast to cuddle.
Again it’s foundation of trust capacity. Cuddle foundation is not licensed and therefore does not abide by these parameters of an employer driven multifaceted bc.
A pro, an enthusiast or client always can deny/ cancel the appt within reason stated in the faq and if our SAFETY is in danger.
Also the public schools in US/America teach internet safety very early on. I wonder why.
Look at it this way if your daughter or mother sister, female family member, was it enthusiast or professional and was just accepting someone to come into their home or deliver themselves to their hotel or home to cuddle and their screen name is Dirk Dangler 69 and they don’t check anything to ensure their safety. Have no picture, no name, no assurance they are not violent …..Would YOU be comfortable with that ?
Women are savvy when it comes to our capacity to cuddle and HAVE to be. We - most-are not here to scam you or assault you. We are here for cuddling and companionship with caring compassion. As the most hunted entity on the planet Earth, we will ensure our safety. This should also be a good indicator that we care about yours as well.
One more thought related to my previous post… In the United States, discrimination is not a criminal offense, it is a civil action. This is a crucial distinction because if a plaintiff (a shunned client) accuses a pro of discrimination in a jurisdiction where service providers are not allowed to discriminate on the basis of age, religion, gender, etc. the legal standard is “preponderance of evidence” rather than “beyond reasonable doubt”.
In simple terms, suppose a 65 year old man decides to sue a pro for refusing to book a session on the grounds of age discrimination (that may or may not be true but it is what he is accusing her of doing).
Suppose she denies in court that his age had anything to do with her refusal to book a session. She can offer to the jury any explanation she wants - maybe she didn’t like his tone in his direct messages or he wanted to book on too short of a notice (very legit reasons for declining a booking request).
Then the plaintiff shows a forum post from the pro that states she “doesn’t want creepy old men touching her”. It is now up to the jury to decide if it is MORE LIKELY that she refused the booking request due to his age than his tone / timing.
I have no problem with CC’s TOS and I have never felt discriminated against in any way. I have had very positive experiences with both pros and enthusiasts from this site. But in reading the forums, it is clear a lot of men do feel discriminated against for one reason or another. In many cases the discrimination is probably just in their imaginations but in other cases the discrimination MAY be real (I have read comments from some pros on the forum that could be construed as discriminatory in nature).
I was taught by a corporate lawyer in my first job out of college to be extremely careful about ANYTHING I put in writing. He said imagine anything you write being read to a jury. He used a real life example where the company we both worked for had been successfully sued in a wrongful death lawsuit. During discovery, the plaintiff’s lawyers had found an email from a (now former) engineer expressing frustration about how slow the company was in addressing a perceived safety issue. One line from that engineer’s email (about an entirely different product) read, “How many people are going to have to die before we fix this?”
That one sentence, quoted out of context, was enough to convince a jury to award a 7 figure settlement in the lawsuit. I sometimes see posts on this forum that remind me of that multimillion dollar email. Things said in pain and/or frustration that I would not want to have to defend / explain to a jury.
Giving and receiving a hug is an extremely complicated affair fraught with peril.
I require i.d. if someone wants me to cuddle at their home. - @BreeChee
I want to start by saying that my post about protecting my privacy was not meant to invalidate your vetting process. I apologize as it seems to have come off as that way. As someone very familiar with S.A., I understand the need to take protections especially given the current social climate and the lurking troglodytes on these forums. I should have added that if a pro has the need for the client to show ID on their profile, then that is not a red flag in my eyes. I was referring to when it gets asked later on in the discussion without prior warning that such an exchange would be necessary.
However, I am curious on why a home address is less trustworthy to you than a hotel. I would like to share a discrepancy. I will spoiler it in case you want nothing of it.
Later in this thread, you said you would not require an ID if you are meeting a stranger in a hotel while requiring it to meet the stranger at their house. I would like to share with you that if you have someone's home address, you can readily with no charge look up their arrest record and sex offender status e.g. https://www.familywatchdog.us/ and https://www.whitepages.com/reverse-address. I would make sure that whatever home address they are using is NOT on sites like Air BnB where it can be rented. That would be a huge red flag for me when meeting a stranger unless an explanation was already discussed. I personally feel safer meeting in my home due to my security systems, but I also understand that I am giving out a lot of personal information with my home address. Once a person has my home address, I know they can figure out everything about me which is why my vetting process is to make sure the transaction is legitimate in nature. On the other hand, checking into a hotel can be done under fake names fairly easily unless it is like a 5 star luxury one where you sit down and get a quote. The camera systems in hotels are also usually fairly shoddy if they even have them on. In the awful case of S.A. happening, police having the perpetrator's home address is a way bigger lead than a hotel room. Still avoiding the situation all together is much more desirable than dealing with it.
@cj7353 thats annoying it happened to you. I’ve had two or three sessions that were cancelled because they said their cars were totally wrecked from an accident but they were okay. Which I was glad. They said they would reschedule asap. But never heard back from them and saw they got karma within a few days of our appointment. It’s their right to cancel, would be nice to have gotten follow-up. But they cancel for their reasons and don’t get in touch. There was one person who moved the appointment on the day of to the next day. I was going to be coming from work. So I sent a message at noon asking for their address cause they were hosting. Come 430 I sent another text asking because I live in queens and they in Brooklyn so didn’t wanna have to go to queens and then to Brooklyn. Finally got a response asking for a photo and then what I did for work. Then they said sorry they were cancelling.!the reason I’m they gave was didn’t like my energy then I was blocked, lol. Eh it happens and you move on, just puzzling really. Nothing you could do about it.
Second pro, who I’d hoped was more professional, just no-showed on the video call. She messaged half an hour before to say she was running behind and could we slide it a half hour. I saw this five minutes before as I was logging on, and messaged yes. Logged on at the delayed time, waited half an hour, logged off and messaged her that I’m available tomorrow at a 2nd choice time she gave. This could be a child care issue, car trouble, etc., but I’m not liking the trend. This is the opposite of a calming form of self care in a busy life. It’s more like work!
@Ironman294 ahh yes the "car wreck" or the "car breakdown". It's amazing how often that happens right before a session. I guess cars just aren't made the way they used to be lol.
@jplemmon i believe them because there’s no reason to lie but then when they don’t reschedule and then there’s karma from someone a day or two later, then well it is what it is.