Do you have any age related issues as a cuddler? Some have said they've experienced age discrimination. There is a change in lifestyle and attitude once a person gets to be 40 or over. Cuddling isn't just for the young! Let's talk!
Many people express an age preference in their profiles that does not include those of us who are older. I choose the term "preference" rather than "discrimination" because that is certainly their right, but the result is the same. I respect that and do not try to contact these people, but I have sent messages to people without stated preferences that were not responded to. Online etiquette seems somewhat generational. Personally I would normally do a quick polite reply "Thanks for writing, but not interested. Best wishes in finding what you are looking for." Some people, especially younger people feel they are not obligated to reply to a communication they did not solicit. Nobody ever promised that getting older would be easy, but it beats the alternative.
My preference is for mature men, as they have more life experience and more impulse control. My best cuddles have all been with men over 40. I wouldn't exclude anyone based on age alone, but rather attitude and mental maturity.
Some women don't reply to say no thank you because some men get hostile and abusive when they do. It's been talked about on the forums repeatedly. I do agree, though, that it seems that some younger people have a much different set of manners than the older crowd.
No means no. No reply also means no. Sad that either one would provoke an abusive response, but that is our world, especially our online world.
I actually prefer older people. As long as they are respectful, it's my general preference. Bonus that I feel like they appreciate the cuddles more O:-) I love feeling like I'm making someone else's day or life a little better :-) Oh, and it probably is related to my calling, which is to be there for those everyone else pushes aside. Older people are one such population that people tend to do this with, and they don't deserve to be ignored... So. Here I am ;-)
Oddly all of my clients who have been inappropriate were over the age of 55. But I still don't have an age preference, just a respect preference ?
There is someone in my area who doesn't cuddle people younger than 45 or something. Unfortunate for me but that's what they want.
@Sashamcgee that IS odd... :-/ But I guess some people never mature ;-)
I have cuddled someone several times in my area who is 25 yrs older than me and a cuddle pal in my area who I have seen several times that is 20 yrs younger than me. I personally feel they both have different things to offer in terms of life experiences, interests, hobbies, needs, etc. I thought at first the age differences might be a little awkward, but I can say I feel equally comfortable with both in terms of platonic friendship and cuddling. And really do genuinely enjoy our time for different but equally important reasons. Would be different if I were looking to date them or something, I don't feel there would be much compatibility then.
For guys messaging girls, if they aren't interested, they just won't respond. You have to realize, there are a lot of women who are bombarded by messages and friend requests, to respond to them all would take a lot of time, something that everyone is limited on. My SO was on a dating site for less than 1 day and received 140+ messages.
So no response is always a "no", or a "didn't even see it among a bunch of other messages". I don't take offense to it any. Just reach out to as many people as you can to find a cuddle bud.
Best, TT
Age preferences are always an interesting topic when it comes to cuddling. I find that I can't quite explain my preference except that it just feels comfortable for me I think I would feel strange sharing intimate contact with someone younger than me even in a platonic sense. I personally found my late teens and early twenties to be a very vulnerable age and I think I'd be wary of that which would make the cuddle awkward. That's by no means saying that all young people are the same though - It's more a me problem than a them problem!
As for older people it depends greatly upon the person and the actual age difference in question. I've specified 25-30 but if I met say a 23 year old or a 35 year old who I felt was at the same sort of stage as me in life then I'd be more likely to become friends with them than someone who was either much less or much more experienced than me in life. I think that's the key to my comfort when it comes to making friends - too young and I feel like I'll regress, too mature and it will exasperate my current feelings of being much older than I really am. Right now I think I need the energy of those in my own experience group, but I certainly don't think there's anything wrong with other people having different preferences.
@TangibleTony , as a pro, I respond to every message I get. That's one of the many reasons for our rate. There is a LOT I do for this work which I'm not paid for, so my effective hourly rate is much lower than you think... I think the only time I've stopped responding to someone was when they continued to push boundaries and were obviously not listening or caring about what I was saying in regards to them.
@ubergigglefritz True, pros are always fast to respond. I meant non-pros sorry!
No offense taken. Just conversing :-)
Age preference is personal. I prefer my own age group or younger. I just can't see myself cuddling grandpa.
Personally, I don't have an age preference, but I need to click on some level with a person. We both need to feel safe and comfortable with each other. I've cuddled with people 20-30 years older than me, and cuddled with any age down to newborn. When it comes to platonic cuddling age isn't a factor for me, but I can understand how it may be for others.
That's a good point @Thellie - when it comes to family I'll cuddle any age!